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Thinking of having a drink over the Christmas period?


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Old 21-12-2016, 20:40
HP.80 Victor
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
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Old 21-12-2016, 20:43
Andrue
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Hmmm. I'm not sure that the humour justifies the post.
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Old 21-12-2016, 21:53
pork.pie
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Erm...?
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Old 21-12-2016, 21:57
Bex_123
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
Made me smile...

Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses.
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:01
tenofspades
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Oh if we are doing bad jokes:

Therapist: I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?
Me: Can't say I do.
Therapist: That's one of them.
--------------
I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:06
andy1231
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Made me smile...

Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses.
Me too
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:38
An Thropologist
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
It's an old joke but none the worse for it. It made me smile.
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:41
Armi
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My wife's gone to the West Indies
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:45
muggins14
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It's an old joke but none the worse for it. It made me smile.
Me too (or three, I can't quite recall!)
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Old 21-12-2016, 22:46
belly button
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My wife's gone to the West Indies
Was that through choice ?
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Old 22-12-2016, 01:37
Chris Frost
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My wife's gone to the West Indies
(I'll bite )

Jamaica?
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Old 22-12-2016, 01:44
Chris Frost
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Made me smile...

Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses.
And kidnapping any passengers, and theft from stealing the fare money unless you gave them free rides; in which case "Hurrah for Robin Hood!" or "Boo, ya big nasty anarchist", and not to mention misleading the police in the course of their enquiries. Oh, and you could add insult to injury by adding that you smoked on the bus and threw the fags ends at other car drivers/pedestrians/babies in prams/kittens etc...... Princessxxxx would have a fit if she knew that.........and that really makes me happy for some reason ha ha ha.
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Old 22-12-2016, 02:10
TheEricPollard
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my favourite rugby player once stole a bus.

otherwise I'd have done a self righteous post about what a terrible human being you are, obviously.
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Old 22-12-2016, 03:13
Beenbag
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I'm on a whiskey only diet.


So far I've lost three days😹
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Old 22-12-2016, 04:04
jra
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
In reality you had had too much to drink and were actually playing Grand Theft Auto.
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Old 22-12-2016, 04:07
jra
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(I'll bite )

Jamaica?
That's only half the joke.

'No, she went on her own accord'.
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Old 22-12-2016, 07:48
grimtales1
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Oh if we are doing bad jokes:

Therapist: I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?
Me: Can't say I do.
Therapist: That's one of them.
--------------
I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.


Patient: I think I'm going deaf
Therapist: What are the symptoms?
Patient: An American cartoon family, Homer is bald and fat and Marge has a lot of blue hair.
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Old 22-12-2016, 08:00
Nicola32
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Why did Adele cross the road?..



To say hello from the other side.

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Old 22-12-2016, 08:06
sorcha_healy27
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Why did Adele cross the road?..



To say hello from the other side.



Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing

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Old 22-12-2016, 08:16
andydylan
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Its a "joke" that hits facebook this time of year, nothing original or funny.
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Old 22-12-2016, 08:27
Rich_L
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I'm thinking of having several...
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Old 22-12-2016, 09:26
grumpyscot
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
As seen on Facebook a week ago.

But I hope people (especially visitors) in Scotland remember that our drink drive limit is substantially lower than in England. Just one pint of beer can put you over our limit.
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Old 22-12-2016, 17:04
Evil Genius
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Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.

Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them.

Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

Come on people! This is funny.
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Old 22-12-2016, 17:12
David (2)
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Very good....

Most buses are automatic now, so I could drive one home, lol.

On the serious side, I don't drink and drive so it's never an issue for me.
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Old 22-12-2016, 17:32
Armi
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So I asked the butcher, "Have you got a sheep's head?"

He said, "No, it's just the way I comb my hair."
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