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Thinking of having a drink over the Christmas period? |
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#1 |
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,033
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Thinking of having a drink over the Christmas period?
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. |
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#2 |
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Brackley, UK
Posts: 16,657
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Hmmm. I'm not sure that the humour justifies the post.
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#3 |
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: On top of the sherry trifle.
Posts: 10,106
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Erm...?
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#4 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,718
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Quote:
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. ![]() Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses. |
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 6,941
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Oh if we are doing bad jokes:
Therapist: I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? Me: Can't say I do. Therapist: That's one of them. -------------- I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. |
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,464
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Quote:
Made me smile...
![]() Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses.
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 16,125
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Quote:
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
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#8 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,020
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My wife's gone to the West Indies
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Pit of Despair
Posts: 50,183
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Quote:
It's an old joke but none the worse for it. It made me smile.
![]() (or three, I can't quite recall!)
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Is there life on Mars
Posts: 5,370
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Quote:
My wife's gone to the West Indies
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#11 |
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 6,450
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 6,450
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Quote:
Made me smile...
![]() Although as this is DS, I'm sure that'll mean I advocate drink driving as well as stealing buses. ha ha ha.
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#13 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: 'Dales
Posts: 9,628
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my favourite rugby player once stole a bus.
otherwise I'd have done a self righteous post about what a terrible human being you are, obviously. |
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Hatty Town
Posts: 375
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I'm on a whiskey only diet.
So far I've lost three days😹 |
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#15 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 40,639
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Quote:
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. |
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 40,639
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Quote:
(I'll bite
)Jamaica? 'No, she went on her own accord'. |
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#17 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: St. Albans, UK, Team Wagner
Posts: 42,866
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Quote:
Oh if we are doing bad jokes:
Therapist: I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? Me: Can't say I do. Therapist: That's one of them. -------------- I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. ![]() ![]() ![]() Patient: I think I'm going deaf Therapist: What are the symptoms? Patient: An American cartoon family, Homer is bald and fat and Marge has a lot of blue hair. |
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,205
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Why did Adele cross the road?..
To say hello from the other side.
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#19 |
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 68,941
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Quote:
Why did Adele cross the road?..
To say hello from the other side. ![]() ![]() Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing
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#20 |
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Inactive Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 50
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Quote:
Erm...?
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#21 |
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,651
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I'm thinking of having several...
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#22 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 8,946
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Quote:
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. But I hope people (especially visitors) in Scotland remember that our drink drive limit is substantially lower than in England. Just one pint of beer can put you over our limit. |
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#23 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
Posts: 1,054
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Quote:
Be very careful about drinking at this time of year, as we are getting close to Christmas the Police are out there in their numbers checking on people.
Last weekend I was out with a few mates and one thing led to another. I had a few too many beers, played some silly drinking games, then went onto the whisky......not a good idea! Knowing I was well over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. sure enough, the police were in the town centre pulling over drivers and breathalysing them. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from. Come on people! This is funny.
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#24 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: S.West England.
Posts: 18,033
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Very good....
Most buses are automatic now, so I could drive one home, lol. On the serious side, I don't drink and drive so it's never an issue for me. |
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#25 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 3,020
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So I asked the butcher, "Have you got a sheep's head?"
He said, "No, it's just the way I comb my hair." |
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(or three, I can't quite recall!)
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