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Cruel to be kind or are we being to harsh?


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Old 26-12-2016, 15:51
blueblade
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My dad has an old friend I knew from when I was a kid. He worked down the mines plus has always been a very heavy smoker hence now he is on non stop oxygen. He's just got out of hopsital after months in there and he's in a residential care home. He cannot breath at all without his oxygen so it's on all the time, he has a tank plus one to take out.

First thing he did was ring dad and ask him to get him some fags. At this point dad had no idea he was on it permenantly and he gave in and bought him some which the care home staff berated him for and destroyed. They said it's for his safety and the others there. We totally agree and I explained to dad he could blow himself up.

Next day he rings again saying he needs some clothes from his place and can dad pick him up. Dad was happy to help but it turned out he just wanted to stay in dad's car all day as dad went from lace to place shopping and such and he begged dad to buy his cigarettes again and sat in the car on his oxygen smoking all day. Dad was very uncomfortable with this and he said so.

To cut a long story short he's ringing dad and our house non stop everyday begging for him to come park in the carpark so he can come out and have a cigarette. Dad kept them in his car. We've made excuses not to do so. I just listende to his answerphone messages he lefttoday and he's begging dad to come down so he can smoke. He was off the fags for months in hopsital.

I think dad should refuse for both their safety. We feel awful but it's dangerous. He has a big family in town but they don't speak to him. Are we being cruel.
Dangerous? it's bloody lethal. If one tiny bit of flame made contact with the oxygen, there'd be a hell of an explosion. He has to be kept away from cigarettes as long as he's using oxygen.

...and your Dad allowed this in his car? Christ Almighty

I'd tell him that if he wants to blow himself up, he should do it in private far away from everybody else.
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Old 26-12-2016, 16:48
marieukxx
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Dangerous? it's bloody lethal. If one tiny bit of flame made contact with the oxygen, there'd be a hell of an explosion. He has to be kept away from cigarettes as long as he's using oxygen.

...and your Dad allowed this in his car? Christ Almighty

I'd tell him that if he wants to blow himself up, he should do it in private far away from everybody else.
Yeah that's why I had a word with dad and said he may be helping his mate but what about himself. His mate still won't take no for an aswer and is ringing non stop. Also dad cannot be expected to be called to come down each time he wants a fag, it's ridiculous the amount of times he rings.
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Old 26-12-2016, 16:53
Jells Bells
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Yeah that's why I had a word with dad and said he may be helping his mate but what about himself. His mate still won't take no for an aswer and is ringing non stop. Also dad cannot be expected to be called to come down each time he wants a fag, it's ridiculous the amount of times he rings.
I am not sure how this is your Dads problem. Personally I would probably let him have a cigarette when I am visiting - not making a special trip - with the oxygen off as a deal breaker! And I think that is pretty generous.
Does the patient not understand about the potential for explosions? It's really not nonsense. And what is this illness he has that has made him mistake your father for his own personal fag delivery system? I know it's hard when people are ill but it's not an excuse for him to act like a selfish arse.
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Old 26-12-2016, 19:28
blueblade
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Yeah that's why I had a word with dad and said he may be helping his mate but what about himself. His mate still won't take no for an aswer and is ringing non stop. Also dad cannot be expected to be called to come down each time he wants a fag, it's ridiculous the amount of times he rings.
Your Dad should just straight out refuse and say that he's not willing to put his and other people's lives at risk, while this half wit smokes around switched on oxygen canisters.

This isn't really even up for debate and both you and your Dad know that. As for the phone calls, block his number.
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Old 26-12-2016, 21:39
Pink_Smurf
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He's a friend, not a relative and I think he's being dead demanding and selfish to be honest. I agree now, it's time to just say no more. Plus what would happen if your dad was there when this guy blows up the car or wherever he's smoking?
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