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What age is the right age?


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Old 23-12-2016, 07:44
ajman
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One Christmas when I was about seven or eight, we were rehearsing our Christmas nativity at school when one of the older kids decided to announce it to the entire school. No amount of words to the contrary by our teacher could repair the damage. I never believed Santa (or God for that matter) so found it quite amusing really.
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Old 23-12-2016, 08:00
eluf38
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I think that by the time I was 8 or 9 I'd worked out that parents bought the presents - my mum was never very good at hiding things, and I thought it was odd that santa's favourite drink also happened to be mum's! I was always a sceptical little thing though. Christmas eve left me feeling a little deflated after that, but I kept the pretense up for my little sister.

I can foresee this santa character causing problems for my own little girl. Her loudmouth older cousin (10) has already started announcing he's not real. I hope he won't spoil it for the other little ones in the family. My nephew (5) couldn't understand why the santa in town couldn't speak Welsh, when the one he met at primary school could. Santa had to do some explaining about how there could be more than one santa walking around town at once (something to do with freezing time). He's a bright lad who questions a lot!
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Old 23-12-2016, 08:28
platelet
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The other two I can accept don't exist, they are totally unrealistic after all, but surely Corbyn is real?

I've seen him on TV lots of times and I don't think it was in the made up part of the news ....
Yeah sorry to disappoint but it's just some old trot in a fake beard - Usually John McDonnell
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Old 23-12-2016, 08:58
Ben_Copland
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My mum still does the milk, carrots and cookies thing even though her youngest is 18 and myself (28) and my sister (26) have moved out. Just a nice tradition. We knew from a very young age, not from our parents, but from primary school, literally, probably the first year.
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Old 23-12-2016, 09:18
jackthom
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I can't remember when I found out but certainly do remember believing in Santa for a good few Christmases. The point is that finding out for me was such a non event it's lost in the mists of time. Obviously the most important thing was that the presents kept coming.
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Old 23-12-2016, 10:27
Scots rool
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I was only 6 when my sister told me there was no Santa, & no tooth fairy. I was devastated!

It all depends on the child. As a parent you'd know when the time is right........or your child will put you right. Every child is different.
Certainly by the time they're ready to start high school they should be tuned in.
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Old 23-12-2016, 10:37
molliepops
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Take the child's lead they all work it out at different times, but once they know swear them to secrecy so they feel grown up and keep it from the younger ones. It's horrible to spoil it too early.

8 year old here is suspicious but not quite sure I think it's likely the last year she'll believe.
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Old 23-12-2016, 11:19
dee123
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Why would you even want to tell your kids lies in the first place.

Do you openly agree with telling lies then.
Calm down. You're not telling them the world is flat.
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Old 23-12-2016, 11:21
patsylimerick
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One Christmas when I was about seven or eight, we were rehearsing our Christmas nativity at school when one of the older kids decided to announce it to the entire school. No amount of words to the contrary by our teacher could repair the damage. I never believed Santa (or God for that matter) so found it quite amusing really.
Oh my giddy aunt, the poor teacher!

I think that by the time I was 8 or 9 I'd worked out that parents bought the presents - my mum was never very good at hiding things, and I thought it was odd that santa's favourite drink also happened to be mum's! I was always a sceptical little thing though. Christmas eve left me feeling a little deflated after that, but I kept the pretense up for my little sister.

I can foresee this santa character causing problems for my own little girl. Her loudmouth older cousin (10) has already started announcing he's not real. I hope he won't spoil it for the other little ones in the family. My nephew (5) couldn't understand why the santa in town couldn't speak Welsh, when the one he met at primary school could. Santa had to do some explaining about how there could be more than one santa walking around town at once (something to do with freezing time). He's a bright lad who questions a lot!
Ah, the Santas they meet are Santa's helpers. He's far too busy this time of year to meet them himself.

My mum still does the milk, carrots and cookies thing even though her youngest is 18 and myself (28) and my sister (26) have moved out. Just a nice tradition. We knew from a very young age, not from our parents, but from primary school, literally, probably the first year.
I love your mum! Hopefully, that will be me in 20 years time.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:00
skinj
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I think that the concept is great up the point where the child is rational and understands the meaning of "worth" & "value". As a carrot/stick incentive for a well behaved child that is difficult to reason with, it's a brilliant tool & even just for the parents to enjoy the excitement in their kids eyes at this mystical person bringing them gifts at Christmas.
Have to say that as a child the concept of it was brilliant, but once I was aware it was a fabrication and that the prezzies were coming from my mum (single parent, but we lived with my grandparents, essentially I have three parents which looking back on was great!) which she paid for herself, I held a much greater value to the gifts and appreciated them far more. She would surprise me with stuff I hadn't even thought of getting/asking for.
Was totally gobsmacked when I woke up to find a new Amiga 500 (that ages me!) one year & am awesome JVC micro HiFi UX-1 a year or two later (still working and still sounding superb too, mum now has it in her living room!). Prior to that I had some massive lego kits to build.
She absolutely loves Christmas & still goes overboard with food and decoration (still with prezzies too but not quite as much!)
Apparently my friends at school (who all had older brothers) found out a year or two before I did & all kept the secret too. My mum had asked their parents to ask the kids to do this as she loved the premise of Santa and I obviously did too at the time!
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:05
Elvisfan4eva
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I know one or two people who wish they'd wake up and find that Donald Trump doesn't really exist and won't become President on 20th Jan.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:14
St Dabeoc
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not progeny

provenance probably
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:24
Wee Tinkers
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Aww. I wouldn't worry about him telling his friend - it's a hotly debated topic at that age so he won't be the first or last to drop the bombshell.

Our daughter started secondary school in September so we sat her down in August and told her The Truth. To say she was devastated was an understatement! It was the end of the world, adults were mass liars and conspirators and Christmas was ruined FOREVER.

I really hadn't expected her to take it so bad and ended up sugarcoating it....St. Nick was real, grown ups WANT to carry on the tradition for him so "The Christmas Spirit" was very much real and nothing would change on Christmas Day, etc, etc.

She was pretty unconvinced until I said, "Look at your Dad; he hates doing stuff and hates spending money even more so do you really think he'd voluntarily and happily take himself off to spend a small fortune to fill the sacks? No. It's the Christmas Spirit, see?"

I told her she was grown up enough to know about the Christmas Spirit and she was now part of keeping it alive (and secret!) for the wee ones. Next day, all forgotten and calm restored.

I came away from the drama vowing to be honest with son (just turned 9) if he asked because it was the 'lying' that upset daughter most but figured he'd have another year or two believing at least.

Unfortunately he asked me outright a couple of months ago and I told him. I started to go into that whole spiel ^^^^ Xmas spirit, St Nick, yadda, yadda but he was a different kettle of fish altogether. He cut me off, not a bit interested in that waffle, and laughed his head off. "I can't believe it was YOU. Wow! How'd ya keep so quiet, eh? Flip me. You're like ninjas!"

He was dead on with it and you could see the cogs whirring to see if he could somehow get more out of it. He actually said, "Heh, that's why I didn't get £10,000 when I put it on my list last year. Here, I know what I'm putting on my list this year: your debit card!" No flies on that boy.

He left the room happy but I admit I cried. Too soon for me and there's no one in the house this year who believes. I even phoned my husband at work to tell him A Terrible Thing Had Happened.

But we're all happily in denial now. Still talking about Santa coming and we'll do the usual - leaving out a mince pie and a carrot and all that.

Every child is so different. All you can do is play it by ear and follow their lead. I wouldn't worry that he's telling his friends and not you. They like to sound wise to their friends but he might not be ready to admit to you - maybe, like myself as a kid, you kinda know but don't want to let on to your folks in case you don't get anything.

Personally I'm no good at waiting quietly and would have to bring up a conversation about Santa and take it from there. But I'm a pushy sort so maybe it is best to leave for now and go along with it all for now. Make the most of the pretence if you know what I mean.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:25
francie
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One Christmas when I was about seven or eight, we were rehearsing our Christmas nativity at school when one of the older kids decided to announce it to the entire school. No amount of words to the contrary by our teacher could repair the damage. I never believed Santa (or God for that matter) so found it quite amusing really.
Party Pooper. I have now images of distraught kids, howling in disbelief.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:26
Susie_Smith
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I worked out there was no actual person called Santa when I was about 3. It is quite obvious that no one can ride a "magical" sleigh all the way around the world in one night, which somehow holds billions of gifts, stopping at every house so a fat guy can squeeze down the chimney. We did not even have a chimney.

Also, there are Santas all over the place, at garden centres, shopping malls etc. - they all look different. I am surprised how any child over the age of five could actually be convinced.

To me it was always just a game. Obviously my parents got the presents, but it was still magical because we all got gifts (unlike at birthdays) and there was a general spirit of giving and happiness ... which is what Santa symbolises.

My parents knew that I knew, but I always played along. It would have been rubbish of me to accuse them of being liars.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:42
Wee Tinkers
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One Christmas when I was about seven or eight, we were rehearsing our Christmas nativity at school when one of the older kids decided to announce it to the entire school. No amount of words to the contrary by our teacher could repair the damage. I never believed Santa (or God for that matter) so found it quite amusing really.
Oh no! Bet there were some peeved parents that day. Mind you, I work in a small primary school and I reckon should that happen there it would backfire on the perpetrator. They'd be disbelieved and shunned. Discredited and become the school pariah. I remember my kids and their friends coming home yeaes ago scandalised that a P5 had said Santa wasn't real. Well, that boy's name was mud. He was known after that as A Bad Boy.
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Old 23-12-2016, 14:52
Wee Tinkers
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I worked out there was no actual person called Santa when I was about 3. It is quite obvious that no one can ride a "magical" sleigh all the way around the world in one night, which somehow holds billions of gifts, stopping at every house so a fat guy can squeeze down the chimney. We did not even have a chimney.

Also, there are Santas all over the place, at garden centres, shopping malls etc. - they all look different. I am surprised how any child over the age of five could actually be convinced.

To me it was always just a game. Obviously my parents got the presents, but it was still magical because we all got gifts (unlike at birthdays) and there was a general spirit of giving and happiness ... which is what Santa symbolises.

My parents knew that I knew, but I always played along. It would have been rubbish of me to accuse them of being liars.
I was never so logical and my parents had an answer for everything. Usually magic dust. Glass fronted fire? Easy. The elves open the front door with magic dust while Santa's unloading the sleigh. Flying reindeer? Magic dust. Shopping centre Santa's? As said, helpers; Santa is too busy.

I found out - about 8 or 9 maybe - when I found an invoice for my Spectrum +2 that revealed that Mum had actually ordered it from the Club Book.

I didn't let on though. Was scared I wouldn't get anything. I let them give me the talk before high school.

It was a relief though. I was petrified of Santa. Petrified that I'd see him and he'd be REALLY angry. My Santa was an Old Testament vengeful Santa apparently. I was so scared of going down too early and he'd still be there that it became a tradition in our house for my folks to wake me & say Santa's been & I'd ask if he'd definitely gone and they'd have to go down to check and come back up to me to give me the all clear. Even as an adult living at home we kept that tradition.

I love Christmas traditions.
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Old 23-12-2016, 15:00
RebelScum
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My parents just let me work things out for myself
And look how that turned out!
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Old 23-12-2016, 15:17
GiraffeGirl
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I don't remember a time when I ever thought he existed. As far as I know, I always knew (as soon as a child 'knows' anything like this) that the presents were from my parents. It never bothered me.
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Old 23-12-2016, 15:45
GusGus
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As long as you believe in Father Christmas he will come
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Old 23-12-2016, 15:58
anne_666
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Why would you even want to tell your kids lies in the first place.

Do you openly agree with telling lies then.
Good grief yes! Lies and blackmail work wonders

I don't think there is a right time Patsy, unless the divils haven't sussed it out before secondary school.
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Old 23-12-2016, 15:59
Laurel1ne
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Good grief yes! Lies and blackmail work wonders
Definitely a +1 for that

I found out fairly early around 6 or 7 in the Summer Holidays, my best friend had a much older brother and he'd told her the truth

I don't recall being profoundly dismayed by this so psychologists who tell us we're setting up our kids to not trust us when they learn "the truth" are over exaggerating by then we'd already learned the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were already made up so Father Christmas was just another
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Old 23-12-2016, 16:11
Evil Genius
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I remember a Christmas when I was about 6 or 7, my older sister said Santa Claus didn't exist. My Mum dismissed that and said to me "you know Santa's real, don't you?"

And I still remember thinking 'I'd better say yes or they'll take my Starsky & Hutch playset present away'

Even at that age I knew Santa wasn't real, but my devious mind was already thinking avariciously!
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Old 23-12-2016, 16:11
anne_666
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Definitely a +1 for that

I found out fairly early around 6 or 7 in the Summer Holidays, my best friend had a much older brother and he'd told her the truth
I can't remember what age I was when I found out but I broke my neck to squeal to my monstrous little sister. I ended up in deep trouble as usual which I made the creation of Frankenstein pay for by cutting one of her dolls hair off plus a hefty dose of blackmail that she'd get the same if she welshed on me again. Her turn to be in trouble and no sibling jealousy from me, honest......:
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Old 23-12-2016, 16:44
duckylucky
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Once mine began to question Santas existence I assured them that Santa lives in the hearts of parents and so he exists . Parents carry on a tradition and keep the meaning alive
For me as an adult , parent and grandparent Santa does exist in every mum and dad and guardian of young children
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