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What age is the right age? |
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#51 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Once mine began to question Santas existence I assured them that Santa lives in the hearts of parents and so he exists . Parents carry on a tradition and keep the meaning alive
For me as an adult , parent and grandparent Santa does exist in every mum and dad and guardian of young children ![]() ![]() And it's true. I do get very excited about Christmas. I LOVE doing the mince pie and Norad tracking and all that goes with keeping it alive. The other year when - what was it? A comet? I forget... Passed by on Xmas Eve - we were all out in the garden watching 'Santa' and I actually had to remind myself that it wasn't actually...I was hopping up and down ![]()
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#52 |
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That's lovely. That's how I explained it to my daughter, only not as well. I faffed and said "Christmas Spirit" far far too many times but that ^^^ is what I meant..
![]() ![]() And it's true. I do get very excited about Christmas. I LOVE doing the mince pie and Norad tracking and all that goes with keeping it alive. The other year when - what was it? A comet? I forget... Passed by on Xmas Eve - we were all out in the garden watching 'Santa' and I actually had to remind myself that it wasn't actually...I was hopping up and down ![]() ![]() |
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#53 |
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I worked out there was no actual person called Santa when I was about 3. It is quite obvious that no one can ride a "magical" sleigh all the way around the world in one night, which somehow holds billions of gifts, stopping at every house so a fat guy can squeeze down the chimney. We did not even have a chimney.
Also, there are Santas all over the place, at garden centres, shopping malls etc. - they all look different. I am surprised how any child over the age of five could actually be convinced. To me it was always just a game. Obviously my parents got the presents, but it was still magical because we all got gifts (unlike at birthdays) and there was a general spirit of giving and happiness ... which is what Santa symbolises. My parents knew that I knew, but I always played along. It would have been rubbish of me to accuse them of being liars. Then she swore me to secrecy as "we don't want to ruin it for mummy and daddy." I'm off there shortly with the parcels and she and I will play along. |
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#54 |
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I was 7 or 8 and had my suspicions.
On Christmas Eve I connected cotton to my Father Christmas sack at the bottom of the bed, and tied it around my wrist. Then when my Dad and Uncle came in to fill the sack, the pulling on the cotton around my wrist woke me, and whilst playing "asleep" I saw who it was. But to slightly confuse matters in the morning we had to travel a few miles in the car, there had been snow overnight and in the snow was a Father Christmas delivering presents. To this young lad it was magical, so maybe I was wrong? I think parents can keep it going during Primary School they have done well. Aged 10 or 11 seems a good time to tell them. |
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#55 |
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#56 |
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Aww. I wouldn't worry about him telling his friend - it's a hotly debated topic at that age so he won't be the first or last to drop the bombshell.
Our daughter started secondary school in September so we sat her down in August and told her The Truth. To say she was devastated was an understatement! It was the end of the world, adults were mass liars and conspirators and Christmas was ruined FOREVER. ![]() I really hadn't expected her to take it so bad and ended up sugarcoating it....St. Nick was real, grown ups WANT to carry on the tradition for him so "The Christmas Spirit" was very much real and nothing would change on Christmas Day, etc, etc. She was pretty unconvinced until I said, "Look at your Dad; he hates doing stuff and hates spending money even more so do you really think he'd voluntarily and happily take himself off to spend a small fortune to fill the sacks? No. It's the Christmas Spirit, see?" I told her she was grown up enough to know about the Christmas Spirit and she was now part of keeping it alive (and secret!) for the wee ones. Next day, all forgotten and calm restored. I came away from the drama vowing to be honest with son (just turned 9) if he asked because it was the 'lying' that upset daughter most but figured he'd have another year or two believing at least. Unfortunately he asked me outright a couple of months ago and I told him. I started to go into that whole spiel ^^^^ Xmas spirit, St Nick, yadda, yadda but he was a different kettle of fish altogether. He cut me off, not a bit interested in that waffle, and laughed his head off. "I can't believe it was YOU. Wow! How'd ya keep so quiet, eh? Flip me. You're like ninjas!" He was dead on with it and you could see the cogs whirring to see if he could somehow get more out of it. He actually said, "Heh, that's why I didn't get £10,000 when I put it on my list last year. Here, I know what I'm putting on my list this year: your debit card!" No flies on that boy. He left the room happy but I admit I cried. Too soon for me and there's no one in the house this year who believes. I even phoned my husband at work to tell him A Terrible Thing Had Happened. ![]() But we're all happily in denial now. Still talking about Santa coming and we'll do the usual - leaving out a mince pie and a carrot and all that. Every child is so different. All you can do is play it by ear and follow their lead. I wouldn't worry that he's telling his friends and not you. They like to sound wise to their friends but he might not be ready to admit to you - maybe, like myself as a kid, you kinda know but don't want to let on to your folks in case you don't get anything. Personally I'm no good at waiting quietly and would have to bring up a conversation about Santa and take it from there. But I'm a pushy sort so maybe it is best to leave for now and go along with it all for now. Make the most of the pretence if you know what I mean. ![]() I like the sound of him! I think I must have been very slow on the uptake. Myself and my sister were absolutely convinced we saw the sleigh in the sky out through the letterbox one Christmas Eve. In fact, if I'm honest, I'm still not 100% sure that we didn't. ![]() Quote:
I was never so logical and my parents had an answer for everything. Usually magic dust. Glass fronted fire? Easy. The elves open the front door with magic dust while Santa's unloading the sleigh. Flying reindeer? Magic dust. Shopping centre Santa's? As said, helpers; Santa is too busy.
I found out - about 8 or 9 maybe - when I found an invoice for my Spectrum +2 that revealed that Mum had actually ordered it from the Club Book. I didn't let on though. Was scared I wouldn't get anything. I let them give me the talk before high school. It was a relief though. I was petrified of Santa. Petrified that I'd see him and he'd be REALLY angry. My Santa was an Old Testament vengeful Santa apparently. I was so scared of going down too early and he'd still be there that it became a tradition in our house for my folks to wake me & say Santa's been & I'd ask if he'd definitely gone and they'd have to go down to check and come back up to me to give me the all clear. Even as an adult living at home we kept that tradition. ![]() I love Christmas traditions. ![]()
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#57 |
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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I remember believing in Santa up to a point. I can't actually remember when it stopped nor can I remember the actual circumstances of how I knew. I don't ever think there was some dramatic reveal, I think I just convinced myself.
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#58 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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![]() I like the sound of him! I think I must have been very slow on the uptake. Myself and my sister were absolutely convinced we saw the sleigh in the sky out through the letterbox one Christmas Eve. In fact, if I'm honest, I'm still not 100% sure that we didn't. ![]() Well we'll be tracking Norad tracking Santa all day tomorrow as usual. Denial, I think it's called. ![]() As an aside, I noticed a big shift in their Xmas lists this year now they both know. Boy always had reams, just list upon list, of expensive stuff and I'd have to send him away to get it whittled down by 3 1/2 pages - "I'm putting an XBox AND WiiU on there, Mum. C'mon it's Santa. He can get you anything. " Once he actually pulled out and stapled together some pages from the Argos catalogue: "All of that." Completely taking the hand out of Santa. He is mercenary sort so I expected this year for him to chance his arm with us but he surprised me with the most conservative list yet - just a couple of board games, a teddy and a (A! ) PS4 game. You coulda knocked us down with a feather!Daughter on the other hand never would have been so bold to write a list, she always wrote Santa a nice letter and said she'd like a [small present] and a surprise "if you think I've been good enough. " This year she had the confidence to give us a pretty decent list. Or is getting the arm in. Think she may have inherited my belief in a vengeful Santa.
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#59 |
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I can't ever remember thinking Santa was real. Even aged 5 or 6 I can remember us all standing around at the school Christmas party debating whether it was Mr Nutter (the headmaster) or Mr Champion (the caretaker) inside the Santa suit. I've always appreciated the magic of Santa though, and don't think that he (or the idea of him!) exists for nothing.
I'd rather my kids were the ones to tell me that Santa wasn't real than me have to tell them, but I was always ready to step in and say something before secondary school if it had been necessary. All of mine had figured it out for themselves way before then. You can usually tell how much mileage is left in their belief by the reaction you get when they're playing up just before Christmas and you eye the phone saying you'll be ringing Santa and telling him not to come! Thinking about it, any last shreds of doubt were probably removed for my older kids when Santa got a mince pie and a bottle of alcohol free lager the year I was expecting their sister ![]() When my youngest was about nine, she told me that her wobbly tooth had fallen out, adding 'It's funny how the tooth fairy's writing is just like yours in the replies she leaves to my letters!'. I said 'You just want the quid now then?'. She just burst out laughing and said 'Okay!' I did make her promise not to tell the little kids next door though. I thought it best not to tell her just how many of her tooth fairy letters I've still got stashed away - it's safe to assume she was never that sentimental about mine
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#60 |
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Susie, you have the same analytical mind as my granddaughter, aged four, who calmly told me as much last week when I explained that Father Christmas was going to leave some of her presents at my house and I'd pop along with them.
Then she swore me to secrecy as "we don't want to ruin it for mummy and daddy." I'm off there shortly with the parcels and she and I will play along. Santa is real, so there! ![]() (█)
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#61 |
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my second oldest grandson believed until he was 11 ♥
"all my friends said he`s not real but they believe in god and i don`t so......" |
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#62 |
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For me it was probably around 6 or 7. I vaguely recall that it simply came up in a conversation at school with a friend. It's not really a traumatic event, just a natural part of growing up. I had a younger brother, so we basically kept up the pretense for his sake. I don't recall when he eventually found out.
I think most kids will find out at school and I'm actually quite surprised that there's numerous posts here saying some kids don't find out until between 10-12. These children either live very sheltered lives, or they already know and simply don't want to confront their parents! I think the "magic" flows both ways, parents like to believe that their children still believe.
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#63 |
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About the time I stopped believing in God - eight or so.
My parents let me work it out for myself. As we were poor they told us when we were older (six-ish) that they sent presents to Father Christmas to deliver (in case we wanted something so very expensive they could not afford it so we would not be disappointed). But I loved Christmas then - it was purely magical. ![]() Nowadays some kids get half a bloody toyshop plus all the gadgets and still want more. |
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#64 |
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I'll tell the dog tomorrow that that new squeaky toy was a present from father Christmas. He'll be none the wiser but he's still smarter than most kids.
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#65 |
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I never believed anyway!
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#66 |
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I'd definitely bring it up to stop him telling other kids who still believe because it's not nice, I don';t think you'd have a chance of getting him to believe again, maybe if he was 6 or 7 you would but any older than 8 once it's gone it's gone sadly.
How many adults do you know who were traumatised by the reveal that Santa was imaginary? Not many I would think. I can't even remember how I found out....probably from my older brother, who is sadly no longer with us. However, I can vividly remember my first period at the age of 12, even though I knew what it was....it was still unsettling. |
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#67 |
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The kids running around the playground saying Santa isn't real are carrying out an important public service. They should get a certificate or something.
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#68 |
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As long as you believe in Father Christmas he will come
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#69 |
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My mother has never told me Santa isnt real. She literally just carried on pretending right through my teens.
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#70 |
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I found out at around 5, when my older brother ran into the bedroom to tell me as he'd seen Dad putting the presents under the tree. With Jr it's difficult, or complicated - as she's 16 with the mental age of about 8, she believes in Santa but also knows that I buy presents. She knows her music teacher is Santa at school. She seems able to accommodate the knowledge of some of the realities of Christmas and yet maintain the fantasy too. She wants the PNP video from Santa, wants to track him, to leave out an apple and milk for the reindeer, yet isn't oblivious to the fact that I buy presents and that they cost money. I tried telling her in November that Santa wasn't real, but it didn't really sink in so I decided to leave her be and let her enjoy Christmas in her own way. Quote:
However, I can vividly remember my first period at the age of 12, even though I knew what it was....it was still unsettling.
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#71 |
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Personally I don't agree with outright lying to your children. If you can't even be trusted to tell the truth about something as pointless as Christmas, how can you expect your children to trust you to tell the truth about important things? I've got no idea why so many parents don't think their kids can't enjoy fantasy and myths unless they think it's reality. I think some of you don't give your kids enough credit.
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#72 |
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Personally I don't agree with outright lying to your children. If you can't even be trusted to tell the truth about something as pointless as Christmas, how can you expect your children to trust you to tell the truth about important things? I've got no idea why so many parents don't think their kids can't enjoy fantasy and myths unless they think it's reality. I think some of you don't give your kids enough credit.
I dont know any child who has grown up feeling ****ed up because their parents pretended santa was real. |
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#73 |
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I think you should let children be children a little while longer.
I dont know any child who has grown up feeling ****ed up because their parents pretended santa was real. Funny, I've never equated being a child with being indoctrinated with stupid and pointless lies. |
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#74 |
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My parents never told me he was real and I wasn't ****ed up either. Remember several kids in the playground feeling a bit of a plank when i told them the truth though.
Funny, I've never equated being a child with being indoctrinated with stupid and pointless lies. ![]() Make believe is a part of our lives, as children and as adults - we watch TV and films throughout our lives, read books, absorb ourselves in stories for a period of time. |
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#75 |
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You were never told he was real yet you're the only person on here who is angry! Perhaps if you'd had more of the fun and myth of Xmas as a child you'd be a happier adult
![]() Make believe is a part of our lives, as children and as adults - we watch TV and films throughout our lives, read books, absorb ourselves in stories for a period of time. |
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brain. 
I started to go into that whole spiel ^^^^ Xmas spirit, St Nick, yadda, yadda but he was a different kettle of fish altogether. He cut me off, not a bit interested in that waffle, and laughed his head off. "I can't believe it was YOU. Wow! How'd ya keep so quiet, eh? Flip me. You're like ninjas!" 
) PS4 game. You coulda knocked us down with a feather!
