What could've been a really nice, poignant scene between Jay and Phil last night turned into a tired conversation about how 'ard Phil Mitchell is and his "manor" , and using it as a metaphor for Phil's struggle for survival. I don't know about anyone else but I loved it for all the wrong reasons.

Just a light thread for anyone looking for a laugh or a bit of fun.


Jay: Phil, this ain't you, you're a fighter... whateva, whoeva... I've seen some big 'ard blokes come and go, but you've stayed on top 'cos you've got more lives than Jesus himself and you don't give up. You're the 'ardest of the 'ard, you could have Mohammed Ali and Bruce Lee for breakfast! Pair of ponces if you ask me!

Phil: We, uh, had an orange juice on Tuesday... down at the new stadium.

Jay: Seriously, I just blew a massive amount a smoke up ya backside and that's your response?! Least you could do is give me a pat on the head .

Phil: Some poncey gastro-pub. And there were these two city boys there - flash, drunk, giving it the big 'un. Just dying to be put in their place. I had to just sit there and ignore it, can you believe that?! Look at me, what else could I do, huh? I'M YELLOW!!

Jay: Fair point, you are yellow.

Phil: If I ain't worth a row, what am I worth? What have I got? Being a bald, two-bit, playground bully use to mean something. Just look around you... half of the pubs have closed down or they've turned into coffee shops. Place is... place is dying bit by bit - a lot like me actually. And the people... they use to fear me, but they don't fear me no more and it's not fair. I can't even flush Ian Beale's head down the bog no more - what's my life come to, eh?

Jay: Too right, it's not fair. They need know what it means to fear the Mitchell faaaamily again. I say we call up Grant.

Phil: And on the weekend, we use to have a few pints, have a row and a kiss. if we fancied it. That was me. That meant something. I meant something. And you're right, I was a fighter. And this... this was ma manor... But I can't fight now, can I? There's nothing 'ere for me now, nothing. Well, except, Sharon's knockers that is hahaha,,,,

Jay: But Phil, you can't just give up... who's going to lord it over everybody when you're gone? And tell us bad jokes about Frosty the Snowman?

Phil: This ain't ma manor no more, it use to be ma manor but ma manor ain't the same no more! Ma manor is gone. I want ma manor back... I 'ave no idea what the point of this story is anymore... Just remember - I was 'ard once! Real 'ard!


I've exaggerated some of the dialogue of course.

What did you think of the scene?

Very funny.

Glad I could be of service.

Seems I'm only one who took any notice of this scene, I found it pretty amusing myself...

So did I, I thought they should have made a programme out of it, "Tales of a former thug with Phil Mitchell."

I was disappointed by the scene (the real one) because I thought it could have been written so much better. I mean the mood, the atmosphere, the lighting was all great and it could have had such powerful dialogue but instead all we got was "I can't beat people up anymore".

Well, neither do most people over 50, even the ones without liver problems.

I get that for PHIL it's a big deal, and fair enough. But for most of the audience it's not relate-able. I'd have had no problem with them using that dialogue but they should have included more about Phil's feelings not just "I can't be a thug anymore".

Lol, I like your thinking. It could be a spin-off series about Phil's early days as a 'ardman . Let's hope he forgets to mention the time Christian smacked him one in the Vic, wouldn't want him to ruin his 'ardman reputation.

Just a shame the writers lacked the ability to write the scene in a more engaging way that explored Phil's humanity and emotions, without resorting to macho stuff.

Good post and I agree. I think some of my fake dialogue put people off from posting . I was attempting to express my disappointment and amusement in the scene by exaggerating the dialogue.

But yes, everything you've said is spot on. It felt like the scene would play out in a powerful and poignant way between Phil and Jay, but the writers utterly failed at the dialogue IMO and therefore failed to tap into the raw emotion at the heart of the scene, once again making Phil come across like a caricature.

Exactly. I doubt a lot of viewers, especially anyone who has suffered with severe liver problems, would have found it very relateable or engaging as you said. Nobody cares that Phil (except probably his fans) can't be hard no more...
I understand the point of it was to show us that Phil's pride was broken and he'd lost his will to live, but to me it was a cliche way of doing it.

That writer shoud be docked wages.