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Would you make your family pay for Christmas dinner?


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Old 24-12-2016, 10:57
flashfiction
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This one's a characteristic Daily Mail article about a woman, (primary teacher, combined annual household income of £85,000. ) from South London who require that any family member who wants to attend her Xmas dinner has to pay up front, set amount. It claims that this is "a growing phenomenon. "
None of the guests are unemployed and none appear to be low-waged.

"guests can only attend if they pay her £60 per couple for the privilege....mother and sister are attending without partners and must still fork out £60 each.....insists on having the money in advance — cash or a bank transfer directly into the couple’s account....For providing the lunch, she has a budget of just over £400.
It’s a sum that will leave Leah with a profit from her guests’ contributions, and cover the cost of her own and Andrew’s Christmas lunch.
And her guests won’t even get a glass of wine for their £60 fee — they have been asked to bring a bottle with them......‘Everyone is in employment, we all receive complimentary bottles [of wine] at this time of year.
I don’t see why we shouldn’t all enjoy them at the family Christmas lunch,’ says Leah....

Despite the kerfuffle asking her in-laws for payment has caused, Leah Wright believes that, in fact, more of us should charge for hosting Christmas Day.
‘Just send out the invitations, menus and prices in advance,’ she says. ‘Make it clear so everyone knows what they’re getting for their contribution.
‘It really is the only way.’
Husband is , apparently, an executive chef.

For the cooks out there she is worrying that her "signature dessert- pavlova" turns out OK and serves a quiche option as a starter as an alt to smoked salmon.
Apparently it's "restaurant quality."

Where do the Mail find these suckers, so lacking in self-awareness? Cue her in-laws sniggering about her press..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...es-profit.html
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Old 24-12-2016, 11:03
JimDee
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Well she gets her five seconds of internet fame, bless her miserable socks.
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Old 24-12-2016, 11:10
Trulytrue
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My dad charged me and my brother petrol if we wanted a lift to where he was going anyway. This was while still at school my mum ( divorced from my dad) used to charge me 50p a tank of hot water while still at school.. I had many cold baths

How me my brother and sister grew up to be fairly generous people I will never know

I have always found those with the least are the most generous.
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Old 24-12-2016, 11:14
minxymoo
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I echo the previous posters comment.what joyless money grabbing prats.a friend of mine was told by his sister in law that he and his wife would be charged twenty pound each for christmas dinner and on top of this were also expected to provide their own alcohol.I wont tell you his exact response but their having an M&S dinner for two at hone with a bottle of plonk thrown in .
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Old 24-12-2016, 11:29
Tassium
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Not clicking to the DM.

But either it's an intrusion into family matters or it's a desperate wannabe after fame.

uck. Who knows why such a thing started in their family? Who cares?
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Old 24-12-2016, 12:05
Madge
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How sad. Yes Christmas lunch can be costly, but the enjoyment I get from preparing a meal for people I love and sitting down to eat with them is priceless.
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Old 24-12-2016, 12:40
muggins14
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I will be paying for Christmas lunch - but then I'll be at the pub with Jr eating, not at a family member's home.

Tthese people in the OP should be grateful they have family to spend the day with, rather than trying to fleece them for money and the charge for the time.

If you can't (which they can) afford to feed the whole family on Christmas Day then don't offer, or get everybody to bring some food - a course each, a side dish, some booze - organise it so that everybody's contributing. Inviting them and asking for payment's just taking the piss though, in my opinion.
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Old 24-12-2016, 12:51
gomezz
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Some say that spending more time than is comfortable in the company of family members who you don't really get on with is payment enough!
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Old 24-12-2016, 12:56
Blondie X
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If you feel you have to charge people to eat at your home, you shouldn't be inviting them over.
Yes Christmas dinner for a dozen people may be expensive but no one forced these joyless money grabbers to offer to cook off the family
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Old 24-12-2016, 12:59
JulesandSand
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We've been hosting Christmas dinner for our whole family for 35 years.

The buggers must owe us a fortune.
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:02
muggins14
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We've been hosting Christmas dinner for our whole family for 35 years.

The buggers must owe us a fortune.
Haha!

You can put an invoice in each of their Xmas crackers
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:16
Rich_L
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They do pay, with indigestion and the shits afterwards
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:23
What name??
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:29
Dix
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This one's a characteristic Daily Mail article about a woman, (primary teacher, combined annual household income of £85,000. ) from South London who require that any family member who wants to attend her Xmas dinner has to pay up front, set amount. It claims that this is "a growing phenomenon. "
None of the guests are unemployed and none appear to be low-waged.

Husband is , apparently, an executive chef.

For the cooks out there she is worrying that her "signature dessert- pavlova" turns out OK and serves a quiche option as a starter as an alt to smoked salmon.
Apparently it's "restaurant quality."

Where do the Mail find these suckers, so lacking in self-awareness? Cue her in-laws sniggering about her press..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...es-profit.html

A load of miserable scrooges! Meant to add, that surely she should be paying tax on monies gained from the guests!

Last edited by Dix : 24-12-2016 at 13:33. Reason: extra
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:29
mrsgrumpy49
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My dad charged me and my brother petrol if we wanted a lift to where he was going anyway. This was while still at school my mum ( divorced from my dad) used to charge me 50p a tank of hot water while still at school.. I had many cold baths

How me my brother and sister grew up to be fairly generous people I will never know

I have always found those with the least are the most generous.
When I was a teen, my grandmother gifted all her grandkids £300 each. From that point on when me and my parents went on holiday I had to pay one third of the petrol. Later, when I was home for the holidays from uni, my mother timed me on the hairdryer and charged me for electricity. Those were the days when you actually got a grant and parents were means tested to pay a contribution. My mother kept a log of my Christmas and birthday presents and subtracted the cost from her contribution.

As for charging people to come to dinner that's incredible. But if you are genuinely cash strapped a nice way of sharing the cost is for guests to provide different elements - ie starter, booze, sweet, side dishes...
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:32
solarflare
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I don't pay, but I always donated my Tesco clubcard vouchers for the year and/or made a contribution towards the meal if I was invited over by any of my relatives. I was never expected nor asked to pay, but it seemed fair to me personally since they always spent a lot of money preparing a great spread and basically I just turned up and ate stuff (obviously they got the gift of my shining personality <coughbollockscough>).

But I do agree, don't start basically invoicing folk, that's just silly.
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:52
Lushness
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See this is where I'm going wrong, I'm giving away my food to my folks for free.
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Old 24-12-2016, 13:59
SaddlerSteve
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If you feel you have to charge people to eat at your home, you shouldn't be inviting them over.
Yes Christmas dinner for a dozen people may be expensive but no one forced these joyless money grabbers to offer to cook off the family
I've known people be like this even at "normal" times of the year.

Last year a friend was invited over for a catch-up by another mutual friend. He'd cooked a steak and ale pie and offered her some whilst she was over which she gratefully accepted. They had a chat for a good hour or so then when she was leaving he said "You can pay me back for the pie when you've got the money, it's only about £3-4!". She laughed thinking he was joking but it turned out he wasn't.
She got a text message a few days later with him saying he'd worked it out and it'd be £3.16 and she could drop it over when she'd got it.

Despite invitations no one from our friend group has been there for dinner since.
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:07
blueblade
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Would you make your family pay for Christmas dinner
If I was hosting it, I wouldn't make anyone pay. Indeed, I wouldn't want anyone to, and I'd refuse anyone who offered to do so.

But if I was somewhere else (family or otherwise) and they were insisting on payment, then I would treat the issue as a commercial contract, and feel totally free to criticise the service and quality of food/cooking, quite openly to the host.
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:11
Dix
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When I was a teen, my grandmother gifted all her grandkids £300 each. From that point on when me and my parents went on holiday I had to pay one third of the petrol. Later, when I was home for the holidays from uni, my mother timed me on the hairdryer and charged me for electricity. Those were the days when you actually got a grant and parents were means tested to pay a contribution. My mother kept a log of my Christmas and birthday presents and subtracted the cost from her contribution.

As for charging people to come to dinner that's incredible. But if you are genuinely cash strapped a nice way of sharing the cost is for guests to provide different elements - ie starter, booze, sweet, side dishes...
What your mother did was gross Ma and I shared what we had, and if she didn't have it and I did, I'd give it to her. I'd never in my wildest dreams charge anyone for anything.
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:13
mklass
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I have two daughters and they take it in turns each year to cook on xmas day and boxing day.... Their dad always buys the turkey and I contribute to the rest of the food and goodies, last year I spent about a hundred pounds on drink, and it was shared where it was needed on the day... I certainly wouldn't expect to go to either of their homes and not contribute but to ask upfront for a set amount does seem a little harsh to say the least.....
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:13
blueblade
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I've known people be like this even at "normal" times of the year.

Last year a friend was invited over for a catch-up by another mutual friend. He'd cooked a steak and ale pie and offered her some whilst she was over which she gratefully accepted. They had a chat for a good hour or so then when she was leaving he said "You can pay me back for the pie when you've got the money, it's only about £3-4!". She laughed thinking he was joking but it turned out he wasn't.
She got a text message a few days later with him saying he'd worked it out and it'd be £3.16 and she could drop it over when she'd got it.

Despite invitations no one from our friend group has been there for dinner since.
I would have advised him that he should have mentioned any cost ahead of giving the food. In the absence of that, it is legally a gift. I'd also have advised him that had I known in advance there would be a charge, I would have politely declined the offer, as steak and ale pie would not be my choice at a paying restaurant.

Do you think he was taking the piss or genuinely serious?
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:14
RobinOfLoxley
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They sound awful, I'm glad our immediate and extended family and close friends have always been sensible.
You come to us on Christmas Day, we'll come to you on Boxing Day (or Easter or next Year etc)

Or so and so buys the Turkey, so and so buys the booze, and other shopping divvied up, or unspecified amounts of cash subsidy is donated to the host.

In our family everyone fights to give money at or before such dos. Might be £20, might be £50.
If the Host is comfortably off, it's a devil of a job (or impossible) to get them to take it.
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:26
skp20040
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The lady in the article who makes a profit , well to me that's just wrong it isn't a commercial venture its family and Christmas. I did feel differently the other day about another case where the host did not earn money like this and those going for lunch had asked for specific foods that were not cheap so to my mind she was ok to ask for a contribution.

To my mind you do not charge family and friends when you invite them over, or if you are pushed for money (which people are ) you could contact everyone and say "look we are having a tight year with cash , we would love to host Christmas but it would be great if everyone could contribute something on the food or drink side or if you find it easier we could have a kitty and I am happy to do all the shopping"

But to profit is wrong.
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Old 24-12-2016, 14:28
flashfiction
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If I was hosting it, I wouldn't make anyone pay. Indeed, I wouldn't want anyone to, and I'd refuse anyone who offered to do so.

But if I was somewhere else (family or otherwise) and they were insisting on payment, then I would treat the issue as a commercial contract, and feel totally free to criticise the service and quality of food/cooking, quite openly to the host.
Ha.
And I'd definitely be complaining if they served me quiche as a starter on Christmas Day!

Unreal that she seemed to admit that the guests paid so she didn't need to.

I appreciate that it can be very expensive, especially if the guests are in double figures. When I have been flush I've done it many times, but intentionally never added it up.
When other family members have volunteered, especially if they're on a budget ( or it's a big workload), I've always made a course/sides/loads of booze or at least stumped up for a really good turkey. (It can work really well as often someone else will suggest they'll make dessert etc. and often enjoy doing it.)
Even simpler as others say - rotate hosting it each year or just don't offer.

woman in that article reminds me of the the wife character, Monica, in Mike Leigh's Secrets & Lies.
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