Hot Aiden confesses to Johnny Remember Me that he's in lurve with Moaning Marioh Johnny points out that Maria is a complete nightmare compared to Busty Eva, but Aiden isn't entirely convinced...... later, Maria gets home to find Busty has cooked everybody's dinner for her, so she proper gets the guilts and so does Aiden when Busty tells him how worried she is about Maria...... and then it's off to court where Maria will learn her fate - jail or freedom?.........

More weirdness at the Barlows...... as they're sitting round playing a board game, NewNick turns up and apologises for his recent dreadful behaviour - Saint Leanne is delighted to hear this, but then her and Drunk Peter start reminiscing about Bros and Nick feels left out..... to make things worse, Nick finds the present Peter stuffed in a drawer, opens it and finds out it's a Bros tape (yes, a tape! a cassette tape!) labelled "To The Love Of My Life" ..........

Lucky Luke and Hot Redhead Gary are about to begin brawling in the street and it's all about Ninety Year Old Bethany - Gary thinks Luke's been up to no good with Bethany, a confused Luke denies the whole thing, and then who should appear to settle the argument but Bethany herself, returning from a previous engagement with a "mate" she confirms that she has NOT been with Luke, and the dust settles......... however, the minute she gets inside the house, mum Sarah is on her like a dose of the trots demanding to know who her "older man" is....... will Bethany reveal that it's Gary?.......

Also tonight - Nosy Vicar Billy is busy writing loads of Xmas cards to his old parishioners, and Todd's worried that he might be missing his religious vocation ......... Fake Son Andy is disgusted with himself, sitting there with a truckload of stolen painkillers ........ and finally Real Dad Tim turns up (with help from Craig) carrying a massive TV into Sally Flamin' Webster's house she's pleased as Punch as she thinks it's her Xmas present, but Steve might have a word or two to say about that......