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Old 26-12-2016, 12:18
max_garfield
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This may not even be an anxiety thing though I have read about this before in relation to anxiety (whether a generalized anxiety disorder or a specific kind).

I find I can't really look forward to things as I once did (say years and years ago) whether that be some event or trip or whatever. So much so that 9 times out of 10 I actually pull out of any plans simply to let my mind rest and stop obsessing between now and the time of whatever it is I am threating about.

For example a few friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go into London with them next wee. At first I was quite excited for a day out somwhere different, but as soon as I make those plans, this feeling of dread kind of takes over and then I think of the possibilities of what could go wrong, being far away from home etc.

How do people with this particular anxiety get on? I do enjoy going out but I get so churned up about it at times.
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Old 26-12-2016, 12:26
UrGleekIsShowin
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Yeah I understand what you mean, and it's so easy just to cancel everything so that you can stay comfortable. I'm having that problem now with trying to book a dentist appointment.

If the event is next week, like in your example, if there nothing to prepare I would reassure myself that right now, this moment, I am safe, I'm at home, (or wherever you feel most comfortable), I'm not at the event. I can tell myself that I can still cancel if I want to, even up until the last minute (even if that's not true).

Then, at the event itself, I would bring comforts with me wherever I'm going. This is obviously individual to the person, but for me, my comfort is my music device. If I have it with me, even if I can just feel it in my pocket, I feel safer.

Hope at least some of this made sense.
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Old 26-12-2016, 14:36
greenyone
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I wish there was an easy fix for this it rules your life and unless you experience it you can't explain to others . I'm sorry OP I couldn't have helped but I know what your going through
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Old 26-12-2016, 14:41
Jim_McIntosh
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It's not really a solution but I used to (sometimes still do) suffer from this and it can get to the stage where you worry so much about something (16 hours straight and not sleeping) and exhaust every possibility of what can go wrong that when it comes to doing the thing you are so exhausted that it passes by easily and you are always amazed how much energy you put into something so easy. I've done many an interview or appointment on no sleep. Every time I come away thinking I worry too much.

Try to remember how simple everything seems in retrospect. It's never worth that level of worry.
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Old 26-12-2016, 14:56
RobinOfLoxley
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A vist to your GP may help with some options.

Plan any excursions so that you are not trapped.

So you can show willing and escape via train, taxi or car after a few minutes or half an hour or an hour or so

You don't have to stay for hours and hours when all you want to do is get home
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Old 26-12-2016, 15:03
UrGleekIsShowin
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A vist to your GP may help with some options.

Plan any excursions so that you are not trapped.

So you can show willing and escape via train, taxi or car after a few minutes or half an hour or an hour or so


You don't have to stay for hours and hours when all you want to do is get home
This is a good tip
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Old 26-12-2016, 15:26
Princessxxxx
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Going to work after the weekend I feel like this, I take an over-the-counter remedy, it really helps but dont't take it all of the time
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Old 26-12-2016, 15:31
Hackettboy
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This is me all the time ,I can get up get ready to go out then just look outside and think no I will stay in ,does my head in something in my head tells me no when I really want to go out ,
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Old 26-12-2016, 17:17
max_garfield
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Not that I wish none of this on you all but it's really nice to know I am not alone!

I don't know why I am so drawn to home when it's the place (now I think about it) where I've been the most unhappy! It's like the safety net thing.
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Old 26-12-2016, 17:38
UrGleekIsShowin
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Not that I wish none of this on you all but it's really nice to know I am not alone!

I don't know why I am so drawn to home when it's the place (now I think about it) where I've been the most unhappy! It's like the safety net thing.
It definitely is nice to know that I also don't wish it on anyone but I was glad (not the right word, I know) to see a thread about anxiety

BIB: So true for me too. It hit me yesterday how much of a toxic environment it can be sometimes and yet, it's the only place (beside college) where I feel truly comfortable
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Old 26-12-2016, 19:57
alr837
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Def part of it for me. Lost count of the number of times I've declined invites, cancelled plans etc because i can't face to go out. For me, it is a lack of control over the situation, so I find it easier if I'm the one planning the "event" or at least as much of it as possible. Even if I know where I'm going - even if I've planned it, I also spend a huge amount of time playing the situation out in my head, reading reviews, checking the layout, how i'm getting there etc. For me, all this stems from an accident I had 10 years ago now - I've had counselling, CBT, etc etc, and it has helped to a very small level - lack of control over the accident, surgeries etc has left me with a great need to control as much as I can! One of my best friends is planning a surprise day out as a belated birthday treat, and to say I'm anxious is an understatement.

I'd write everything down and take it to the drs with you, it is so hard to remember all the little things when you're speaking to them! I think I just thrust a list in the hands of the gp!
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Old 03-01-2017, 14:27
max_garfield
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Am going through this quite severely ATM- particularly today.

I arranged (on reflection it seems stupid to arrange stuff if it's going to leave me in this state but heyho) to go into Central London with a friend tomorrow, part of me still really wants to go but because of how I am feeling now...tense, anxious, worked up (even a little sick) it would be easier to just cancel the whole thing. It's bloody awful. Like these things you're supposed to look forward to, not want over with. I haven't cancelled as of yet but I've no idea if I will.

I've actually not had it this bad before. I have had the impending doom feeling and my mind sort of plans it all out how it SHOULD go but today I am feeling particularly distressed. I know it's anxiety, but it doesn't help one bit.
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Old 03-01-2017, 15:19
jp761
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Am going through this quite severely ATM- particularly today.

I arranged (on reflection it seems stupid to arrange stuff if it's going to leave me in this state but heyho) to go into Central London with a friend tomorrow, part of me still really wants to go but because of how I am feeling now...tense, anxious, worked up (even a little sick) it would be easier to just cancel the whole thing. It's bloody awful. Like these things you're supposed to look forward to, not want over with. I haven't cancelled as of yet but I've no idea if I will.

I've actually not had it this bad before. I have had the impending doom feeling and my mind sort of plans it all out how it SHOULD go but today I am feeling particularly distressed. I know it's anxiety, but it doesn't help one bit.
Sometimes in these situations it CAN be a good thing and carry on with life, going out regular e.t.c.

But honestly if you think things are at the extreme end! And you really feel that bad. For now, trying to keep going out isn't the answer. You wont enjoy the time out one bit. In your current situation.

Ask yourself are you almost totally consumed with anxiety when you are out. ? Is your focus basically only concentrating on you and how bad you feel. Rather than your surroundings and having a good time. ? If the answer is yes to these, then it's better instead to stay at home and plan your next step. Thing's like arranging to visit your GP. And doing some research about who is best locally, to help you out with your current situation.
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:12
max_garfield
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Sometimes in these situations it CAN be a good thing and carry on with life, going out regular e.t.c.

But honestly if you think things are at the extreme end! And you really feel that bad. For now, trying to keep going out isn't the answer. You wont enjoy the time out one bit. In your current situation.

Ask yourself are you almost totally consumed with anxiety when you are out. ? Is your focus basically only concentrating on you and how bad you feel. Rather than your surroundings and having a good time. ? If the answer is yes to these, then it's better instead to stay at home and plan your next step. Thing's like arranging to visit your GP. And doing some research about who is best locally, to help you out with your current situation.
Thanks for the reply, I was thinking the same thing whilst writing it.

I am currently in contact with my GP since only being diagnosed with Anxiety in Dec 2015 (despite having anxiety related issues for around 5-6 years prior to this) so obviously this is a new thing for me to bring up.

Anxiety is so consuming, it physically bakes my brain out! I had so many thoughts in my head once that I was just sitting here somewhat in a daze! Like a movie that won't stop playing!
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:20
skp20040
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This may not even be an anxiety thing though I have read about this before in relation to anxiety (whether a generalized anxiety disorder or a specific kind).

I find I can't really look forward to things as I once did (say years and years ago) whether that be some event or trip or whatever. So much so that 9 times out of 10 I actually pull out of any plans simply to let my mind rest and stop obsessing between now and the time of whatever it is I am threating about.

For example a few friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go into London with them next wee. At first I was quite excited for a day out somwhere different, but as soon as I make those plans, this feeling of dread kind of takes over and then I think of the possibilities of what could go wrong, being far away from home etc.

How do people with this particular anxiety get on? I do enjoy going out but I get so churned up about it at times.
It is a hard one and all part of Anxiety/Panic Disorder, you can just do your best, some seek help from a GP and maybe medication. The worst thing is to stop going to places especially those where you may have had an attack before as bit by bit avoiding places eventually can lead to agoraphobia ,

I suffer from panic attacks, not all the time but have been in that situation when you look for excuses not to go somewhere or have a bad panic attack in the busiest aisle in Sainsbury and want to get out quick and end up chucking your shopping through the checkout in a manner that is like the Americans leaving Saigon whilst you hyperventilate and drip sweat over the conveyor belt whilst trying to appear normal and then refrain from battering the smiling checkout person with your shopping when they ask for your Nectar card when all you want to do is to make a break for the nearest exit and get to what you deem your safe place can make that hard at times

It can be good to cut back on caffeine and make sure you are well hydrated as lack of water makes things worse , and if it is an evening event have a couple of glasses of wine before you go out that can help relax you, not so easy for a daytime jaunt though.

The best thing is to persevere and try not to let it change your way of life , easier said than done I know and people so often do not understand the panic and feeling , and if you feel you cannot control things or it is getting worse talk to someone get some help see a GP (and if they are of no help see another ) but don't let it take over.
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:33
SOHCAHTOA88
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If it effects your quality of life then the best thing to do is see your GP. This may be daunting in itself for you to have to talk about it in person but every journey starts with a first step so best to bite the bullet and make the appointment. They are well trained in this.
If you Google 'NHS social anxiety' they have a page of advice.

Edit: oops, just seen your post about seeing the GP. Good.
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:36
jp761
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It is a hard one and all part of Anxiety/Panic Disorder, you can just do your best, some seek help from a GP and maybe medication. The worst thing is to stop going to places especially those where you may have had an attack before as bit by bit avoiding places eventually can lead to agoraphobia ,

I suffer from panic attacks, not all the time but have been in that situation when you look for excuses not to go somewhere or have a bad panic attack in the busiest aisle in Sainsbury and want to get out quick and end up chucking your shopping through the checkout in a manner that is like the Americans leaving Saigon whilst you hyperventilate and drip sweat over the conveyor belt whilst trying to appear normal and then refrain from battering the smiling checkout person with your shopping when they ask for your Nectar card when all you want to do is to make a break for the nearest exit and get to what you deem your safe place can make that hard at times

It can be good to cut back on caffeine and make sure you are well hydrated as lack of water makes things worse , and if it is an evening event have a couple of glasses of wine before you go out that can help relax you, not so easy for a daytime jaunt though.

The best thing is to persevere and try not to let it change your way of life , easier said than done I know and people so often do not understand the panic and feeling , and if you feel you cannot control things or it is getting worse talk to someone get some help see a GP (and if they are of no help see another ) but don't let it take over.
Some good points. But panic attacks and "anxiety attacks" are different thing's. Panic attacks usually last no more than half an hour, they are awful but usually pass after around 30 mins. Anxiety attacks have no limit. And yes, no one should stop going out altogether. It just depends though, how far down the road of hell someone all ready is. And whether or not, they are getting any help at the same time.

Yes, sometimes people do sort it out all by themselves. Like anything it all depends how bad someone all ready is. Everyone has a limit, at that point obviously they will need to seek help.
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:44
noodkleopatra
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My Dad's terrible for it. He'll turn up to an airport the full three hours ahead of time, and set off for it even earlier, 'just in case'. He had to borrow a friend's car recently (as I had borrowed his), and he was panicking about whether or not this friend's car - despite being perfectly roadworthy and no older or unstable than his own - would breakdown.

He still travels, but he'll have everything sorted way in advance, sometimes to the last detail, and will keep 'checking' to ensure such events are in place.

Inevitably, even such 'minor' parts of the future keep him awake at night, major nights will turn him into an insomniac. It's awful.

I sometimes get really anxious (and then, confusingly, sometimes be so blasé) about certain things, such as getting up at a certain time really early in the morning. I get anxious that I'll not get enough sleep and I'll be tired, and so just venture to stay awake all night instead (which is stupid because I end up tired anyway). And while I may have inherited certain anxious traits from him (the blasé traits from my mother), I haven't inherited his meticulous planning mechanism, and just get thrown into a 'oh, shit!' mode of chaos.

I think that's probably because my Dad gets long-term pre-event anxiety, whereas mine strikes shortly before it's all going to happen. So for me, everything's great and wonderful and exciting (although usually last-minute) and then it's gone from "I can't wait!!" to all-consuming dread - usually "Why did I only imagine all the good scenarios and not the bad ones?!".
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Old 03-01-2017, 16:59
fastzombie
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My Dad's terrible for it. He'll turn up to an airport the full three hours ahead of time, and set off for it even earlier, 'just in case'. He had to borrow a friend's car recently (as I had borrowed his), and he was panicking about whether or not this friend's car - despite being perfectly roadworthy and no older or unstable than his own - would breakdown.

He still travels, but he'll have everything sorted way in advance, sometimes to the last detail, and will keep 'checking' to ensure such events are in place.

Inevitably, even such 'minor' parts of the future keep him awake at night, major nights will turn him into an insomniac. It's awful.

I sometimes get really anxious (and then, confusingly, sometimes be so blasé) about certain things, such as getting up at a certain time really early in the morning. I get anxious that I'll not get enough sleep and I'll be tired, and so just venture to stay awake all night instead (which is stupid because I end up tired anyway). And while I may have inherited certain anxious traits from him (the blasé traits from my mother), I haven't inherited his meticulous planning mechanism, and just get thrown into a 'oh, shit!' mode of chaos.

I think that's probably because my Dad gets long-term pre-event anxiety, whereas mine strikes shortly before it's all going to happen. So for me, everything's great and wonderful and exciting (although usually last-minute) and then it's gone from "I can't wait!!" to all-consuming dread - usually "Why did I only imagine all the good scenarios and not the bad ones?!".
I get you on the contradiction thing. The most trivial things can worry me to hell and back in advance but other things, things that most would consider pretty serious, I can be so f**k it about.

Driving
Talking on the phone
Going somewhere new
Making small talk.

These can all reduce me to rubble.

Interviews
The prospect of losing my job
Stripping off for modelling a life class in front of a room full of people

Ok no big deal.

I don't understand myself
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Old 03-01-2017, 17:15
noodkleopatra
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I get you on the contradiction thing. The most trivial things can worry me to hell and back in advance but other things, things that most would consider pretty serious, I can be so f**k it about.

Driving
Talking on the phone
Going somewhere new
Making small talk.

These can all reduce me to rubble.

Interviews
The prospect of losing my job
Stripping off for modelling a life class in front of a room full of people

Ok no big deal.

I don't understand myself
Yes, it's just absurd isn't it? Nonsensical, but I suppose that's what makes it a disorder and not just a healthy dose of worry!

Glad to see you here again, fz. Happy new year!
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Old 03-01-2017, 17:28
patsylimerick
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I get you on the contradiction thing. The most trivial things can worry me to hell and back in advance but other things, things that most would consider pretty serious, I can be so f**k it about.

Driving
Talking on the phone
Going somewhere new
Making small talk.

These can all reduce me to rubble.

Interviews
The prospect of losing my job
Stripping off for modelling a life class in front of a room full of people


Ok no big deal.

I don't understand myself
While I'm fine with driving (unless its icy) and I've yet to strip off for a life class I completely get this. I actually relish interview/exam situations but can hyperventilate over some social interactions. My big thing, though, is health related anxiety. It's very, very specific and mostly focussed on my children. Every headache and sniffling transmutes into something life-threatening and I make myself literally ill with worry. I can stay up until 4/5am googling symptoms and finding the inevitable worst case scenario. It's exhausting.
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Old 03-01-2017, 18:38
Hackettboy
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Mine is so mixed up I was abused as a child and only felt safe in my bedroom I spent most of my teens locked up in my room and even now I have a flat my bedroom is the place I live in ,I cannot go out with mates I just don't have any anymore ,works party's Xmas party's etc I don't go to ,even going to the shops sometimes can be a major headache,I just don't like talking to people ,yet I'm so lonely people at work think I'm mr confident,but it's all an act a show I put on to servive
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Old 03-01-2017, 19:04
jp761
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Eastenders actually made sense for once haha The recent stuff with Lee would have hit home with many people. The part where he was talking about his Father, and how his Father can just "do it" when it comes to socializing and mingling.

Unfortunately a lot of people do feel like Lee, and they can't just "do it".

Ultimately everyone of us has to find what works best for us, coping mechanisms e.t.c. The fact is, not everyone will have the capability of being the life and soul. But we all can still achieve happiness and have fun in life. In our own ways.
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Old 03-01-2017, 21:32
max_garfield
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Eastenders actually made sense for once haha The recent stuff with Lee would have hit home with many people. The part where he was talking about his Father, and how his Father can just "do it" when it comes to socializing and mingling.

Unfortunately a lot of people do feel like Lee, and they can't just "do it".

Ultimately everyone of us has to find what works best for us, coping mechanisms e.t.c. The fact is, not everyone will have the capability of being the life and soul. But we all can still achieve happiness and have fun in life. In our own ways.
I actually agree with this. I really relate to a lot of point's in the character of Lee. At first he kinda pissed me off a bit but I think that was more the storytelling, it became better and more clearer as it's progressed. Particularly that part when he was on the roof and he said that there were all those people out there going about their lives and why couldn't he be one of them. I have thought this so many times.

Of course I know that there are other anxiety and mental health sufferers out there, but it's such an isolating existence, completely self absorbing and hard work. I wouldn't wish anxiety and depression on anyone, it's so hard to even describe.
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Old 03-01-2017, 23:39
jp761
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I actually agree with this. I really relate to a lot of point's in the character of Lee. At first he kinda pissed me off a bit but I think that was more the storytelling, it became better and more clearer as it's progressed. Particularly that part when he was on the roof and he said that there were all those people out there going about their lives and why couldn't he be one of them. I have thought this so many times.

Of course I know that there are other anxiety and mental health sufferers out there, but it's such an isolating existence, completely self absorbing and hard work. I wouldn't wish anxiety and depression on anyone, it's so hard to even describe.
Yes, that part on the roof it's easy to tell they were getting proper advice, on how to word it all of that.
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