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Question for Anxiety sufferers regarding anticipation of events


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Old 03-01-2017, 23:50
daziechain
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Mine is so mixed up I was abused as a child and only felt safe in my bedroom I spent most of my teens locked up in my room and even now I have a flat my bedroom is the place I live in ,I cannot go out with mates I just don't have any anymore ,works party's Xmas party's etc I don't go to ,even going to the shops sometimes can be a major headache,I just don't like talking to people ,yet I'm so lonely people at work think I'm mr confident,but it's all an act a show I put on to servive
Are you getting help? You really need to talk to someone ... you can't cope with all that on your own .. it's ruining your life (understandably.) Your GP can put you in touch with the right people ... people that know exactly what you're going through. Don't keep it all locked away inside ... talk to someone if you can.
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Old 04-01-2017, 00:05
bob856
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I remember giving a speech at university and feeling it was the end of the world - some 'normal' people were actually physically sick at the prospect but this never happened to me. For the first minute I was hyperventilating so badly that I pretended to lose my place in my notes so I could regain my composure. Eventually I started to breathe relatively normally and gave a half-decent but somewhat boring talk (got a b- I think). At the end though the most amazing thing happened. I looked around the room and was completely calm, looking at people in the eyes with no hint of anxiety, even the girl who I had a terrible crush on! Is this how people usually felt when they were speaking to someone even on a one-one basis? Who knows because 20 minutes later that was all gone and I was the same person again.

That's the difference between a phobia and an anxiety disorder though, a phobia can be treated in a limited clinical setting while an anxiety disorder has deep-seated roots in the mind and only very mild forms (if any) can be cured by 'exposure'.
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Old 04-01-2017, 00:16
BadLadAsh
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Eastenders actually made sense for once haha The recent stuff with Lee would have hit home with many people. The part where he was talking about his Father, and how his Father can just "do it" when it comes to socializing and mingling.

Unfortunately a lot of people do feel like Lee, and they can't just "do it".

Ultimately everyone of us has to find what works best for us, coping mechanisms e.t.c. The fact is, not everyone will have the capability of being the life and soul. But we all can still achieve happiness and have fun in life. In our own ways.
I actually agree with this. I really relate to a lot of point's in the character of Lee. At first he kinda pissed me off a bit but I think that was more the storytelling, it became better and more clearer as it's progressed. Particularly that part when he was on the roof and he said that there were all those people out there going about their lives and why couldn't he be one of them. I have thought this so many times.

Of course I know that there are other anxiety and mental health sufferers out there, but it's such an isolating existence, completely self absorbing and hard work. I wouldn't wish anxiety and depression on anyone, it's so hard to even describe.
That was a brilliant episode, they got that spot on. It really struck a chord with me.
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Old 04-01-2017, 07:22
max_garfield
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That was a brilliant episode, they got that spot on. It really struck a chord with me.
It really was.

What's weird is half the time I am in the same room as family members watching it or stuff similar, and as I'm watching I'm thinking "that is basically me", kinda like the elephant in the room. But facts and feelings are quite different things so people have to SEE the distress in order to believe it sometimes, which is quite sad.
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Old 04-01-2017, 08:03
ToxicBlossom
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I've never suffered from anxiety but I do have a habit of worrying about things that haven't happened or may not happen yet. I would obsess about things in my head about what could go wrong, how I would manage if things didn't work out financially, how will I afford this/that etc.

If anybody likes to read, I would strongly recommend a book called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. It's changed my whole perspective on things and has made me worry much less and start living life in the moment.

Basically you should try and enjoy what's happening right now at this very moment, because that's what life is and always will be. Worrying about a projected future, of things that haven't even happened and might not happen, serves only to cause suffering and why would you want to do that to yourself? It's hard to change a mindset but you do have a choice not to worry and enjoy the present moment.

Since reading that book I've become much more content, happy and peaceful. I must read it again as I feel that it needs multiple readings so you don't slip back into old habits.

Give it a try and see if it makes a difference. It might not be for everybody but it may help a few
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Old 04-01-2017, 10:28
BadLadAsh
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It really was.

What's weird is half the time I am in the same room as family members watching it or stuff similar, and as I'm watching I'm thinking "that is basically me", kinda like the elephant in the room. But facts and feelings are quite different things so people have to SEE the distress in order to believe it sometimes, which is quite sad.
I know exactly what you mean
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Old 04-01-2017, 10:34
BadLadAsh
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I've never suffered from anxiety but I do have a habit of worrying about things that haven't happened or may not happen yet. I would obsess about things in my head about what could go wrong, how I would manage if things didn't work out financially, how will I afford this/that etc.

If anybody likes to read, I would strongly recommend a book called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. It's changed my whole perspective on things and has made me worry much less and start living life in the moment.

Basically you should try and enjoy what's happening right now at this very moment, because that's what life is and always will be. Worrying about a projected future, of things that haven't even happened and might not happen, serves only to cause suffering and why would you want to do that to yourself? It's hard to change a mindset but you do have a choice not to worry and enjoy the present moment.

Since reading that book I've become much more content, happy and peaceful. I must read it again as I feel that it needs multiple readings so you don't slip back into old habits.

Give it a try and see if it makes a difference. It might not be for everybody but it may help a few
“The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment”

Something that sometimes helps me.
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Old 04-01-2017, 16:31
fastzombie
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Yes, it's just absurd isn't it? Nonsensical, but I suppose that's what makes it a disorder and not just a healthy dose of worry!

Glad to see you here again, fz. Happy new year!
Thanks Noodle, and health and prosperity to you and yours.
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Old 04-01-2017, 17:11
jp761
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I remember giving a speech at university and feeling it was the end of the world - some 'normal' people were actually physically sick at the prospect but this never happened to me. For the first minute I was hyperventilating so badly that I pretended to lose my place in my notes so I could regain my composure. Eventually I started to breathe relatively normally and gave a half-decent but somewhat boring talk (got a b- I think). At the end though the most amazing thing happened. I looked around the room and was completely calm, looking at people in the eyes with no hint of anxiety, even the girl who I had a terrible crush on! Is this how people usually felt when they were speaking to someone even on a one-one basis? Who knows because 20 minutes later that was all gone and I was the same person again.

That's the difference between a phobia and an anxiety disorder though, a phobia can be treated in a limited clinical setting while an anxiety disorder has deep-seated roots in the mind and only very mild forms (if any) can be cured by 'exposure'.
Yes, what happened to you there feeling "normal" for a short period. This is quite common.

It usually happens in one of two ways. The way it happened to you. Where when extreme stress and anxiety overwhelmed you to the point that it caused, your mind and body to release the correct balance of happy and relaxation type hormones! Anxiety sufferers even those with severe anxiety, they do have fleeting temporary moments where they feel "normal", for small periods of time. As you say you were back to your normal state 20 mins later. Unfortunately your natural state returned, which is chemical imbalances in the brain and ticking over that way. For the majority of the time.

The other way this small window of calm/normal feeling occurs in anxiety sufferers, is via specific thing's. Such as, a lot of people find for a short period after they've ate a nice hot meal a favorite meal of there's. They do feel more focused and calm e.t.c. It's probably due to the fact the body has to do a lot of work to digest, it needs to focus on that heavily. So any chemical imbalances in the mind and those stress hormones are left somewhat dormant while the body deals with the food.

And a couple of other times, when even severe anxiety sufferers can feel "normal" for a small time frame. They are the early hours of the morning 1 to 4 am or so ( no one should be over doing it though, don't get overtired ). I'm not sure why this happens, but it may be due to the body getting tired, and those nasty imbalances in the mind and stress hormones are weaker then! But, obviously this one can only be done when someone doesn't have to get up early! As clearly to much lack of sleep is no good for anyone.

Another one is sexual arousal ( yeah folks this is still JP in serious mood, not a naughty one haha Anyway, yeah this works on a similar principal to digestion, once the mind and body get into arousal and you are feeling horny and highly aroused. The body is then to busy and overwhelmed with good feelings and good hormones, to bother you with anxiety. Yeah some people have problems getting in the frame of mind that gets them to a high arousal state. But once they are the above is what occurs.

In fact anxiety sufferers tend to have high sex drives. It's actually different to "depression", most severe depression sufferers struggle with sex drive.
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