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Making a life changing decision |
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 441
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Making a life changing decision
Me and my partner have been presented with an opportunity to try something completely new and fascinating. I'm intrigued, and leaning towards 'heck yes, where do I sign up?' (which is often my default position) but I also realise it's too big to not think about properly.
It would involve packing up my whole life to do it. Moving into a new area and eventually new line of work, and it would be fairly permanent - not easy to abandon once the decision has been made. We would essentially take on a family business, already established but is now being sold due to retirement. It's in the countryside and we'd live on site. I've done similar moves before - I've lived in three other countries in addition to the UK - but never anything that involves such an investment - emotional as well as time. The whole proposition seems really attractive at the outset, but it's obviously also quite daunting. And as much as having the whole family involved makes it less scary, it also adds a different type of challenge in the mix - as much as I like my in-laws, living with them is a different story. How would you go about it? We've only known about this for a few days, and we're both feeling positive about it. We've talked about the pros and cons, as far as we can think of any, and will go visit the site in a couple of weeks, which is when we'll have to decide. I'm nervous that there's something glaringly obvious that I haven't yet thought about. |
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#2 |
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London Town
Posts: 141
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Goodluck. If anything I would ask to look at the accounts and see if the venture really is profitable enough for your whole family
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#3 |
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 9,113
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From what you have written, it won't be all plain sailing. As long as you accept between you all that there will be ups and downs along the way and there's no such thing as a bed of roses unless you are prepared to work at it then you won't suddenly come back down to earth with a big bump at the very first hurdle. You sound like you enjoy challenge and are adaptable, so I would say go for it but be realistic.
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#4 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 12,185
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Is it a farming type business? If so have you considered Brexit? Will the business be relying on subsidies? Will you be importing / exporting?
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,643
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Oh look, just do it. Yes it'll be different, maybe difficult, but what would you prefer? to stay and regret the opportunity? Life is for living.
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 441
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Thanks everyone ![]() We have three accountants in the family, so that will definitely be a focusing point when we get a little further in the discussions. Quote:
Is it a farming type business? If so have you considered Brexit? Will the business be relying on subsidies? Will you be importing / exporting?
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#7 |
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: colchester
Posts: 15,350
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Anything obvious? Yes, what exactly is the business?
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#8 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 12,185
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Quote:
Thanks everyone
![]() We have three accountants in the family, so that will definitely be a focusing point when we get a little further in the discussions. Yes, it is but not import/export. That's a good point. It's crossed my mind, but I haven't really researched it yet. It does sound like it's self-sustaining atm but we'll have to look at the numbers obviously, and any opportunity there will only be a bonus even if not vital. |
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: London Town
Posts: 141
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Quote:
Thanks everyone
![]() We have three accountants in the family, so that will definitely be a focusing point when we get a little further in the discussions. Yes, it is but not import/export. That's a good point. It's crossed my mind, but I haven't really researched it yet. It does sound like it's self-sustaining atm but we'll have to look at the numbers obviously, and any opportunity there will only be a bonus even if not vital. |
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#10 |
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 564
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Unless you tell us the details then it's impossible for anyone here to offer any meaningfully useful advice IMO.
However, I wish you good luck whatever you decide to do.
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#11 |
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 9,197
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Quote:
Oh look, just do it. Yes it'll be different, maybe difficult, but what would you prefer? to stay and regret the opportunity? Life is for living.
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#12 |
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,643
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Quote:
You've presumably done something similar in your life?
Some people lives their lives on a plateau. They reach their goal and stay there and that's absolutely fine. My life has been mountains and valleys and I don't regret any of it. |
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#13 |
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 384
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You haven't provided anything like enough background for anyone here to give you an informed opinion. Reading your posts it seems like you've made up your mind to go for it but are seeking validation of your decision from a bunch of strangers who know virtually nothing about your circumstances.
Good luck, anyway. |
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 441
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Quote:
You haven't provided anything like enough background for anyone here to give you an informed opinion. Reading your posts it seems like you've made up your mind to go for it but are seeking validation of your decision from a bunch of strangers who know virtually nothing about your circumstances.
Good luck, anyway. |
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#15 |
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 441
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Quote:
I have. It wasn't all roses by any means, but I wouldn't have missed it. I have many memories - some good, some bad, but hell, I've always lived by the principle that you're a long time dead, and I am glad that I took that opportunity (and many others!)
Some people lives their lives on a plateau. They reach their goal and stay there and that's absolutely fine. My life has been mountains and valleys and I don't regret any of it. that line of thinking has been my preferred response to opportunities thrown at me as well, but I'm getting more cautious about completely overhauling my life again now, being a 'proper' adult with a career and such. But I'm lucky in that we don't yet have any great responsibilities like children or a mortgage, so we're pretty free still.And I think the scariest thing about this now is the permanence of it and losing that freedom, and in any case the next choice we make is a life choice - if it's not this one it will be to buy another house somewhere. I knew we'd have to commit eventually, but there wasn't a timeline on that decision. |
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,163
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Quote:
Oh look, just do it. Yes it'll be different, maybe difficult, but what would you prefer? to stay and regret the opportunity? Life is for living.
For me it comes down to an imaginary scenario of laying on my death bed, asking myself why the heck I didn't do X or Y. I also ask myself the question is it better to have tried and failed, than never to have tried at all? Especially from the regret angle of never trying. Even failure at least provides some closure, rather than pondering the What Ifs for the rest of your life - which can be really destroying on the mind. Obviously we must be mindful of the consequences in failure, and only the OP can judge if they have some financial buffers or a plan B. Obviously it could be a roaring success and that would be brilliant. But I find it best to expect the worst and plan for the worst because only then can you fully appreciate the implications in the choice. I guess age is a factor too. I'm at a mid-way point in my life, and it really makes you re-evaluate things! |
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#17 |
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Is there life on Mars
Posts: 5,364
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Quote:
No, absolutely not. I didn't ask for opinions at all but advice, and I doubt many people here could offer specific advice based on the specific circumstances, so specific wasn't what I was asking for. What I'm after is general advice for big decisions - plenty of those can be applied to any situation.
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: colchester
Posts: 15,350
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Quote:
No, absolutely not. I didn't ask for opinions at all but advice, and I doubt many people here could offer specific advice based on the specific circumstances, so specific wasn't what I was asking for. What I'm after is general advice for big decisions - plenty of those can be applied to any situation.
Anyhow I would be looking at How many similar businesses fail in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years. Why do they fail? Is the current business in profit and why ? Was it the product, the relationships, history, skills, delivery, satisfaction etc. |
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: France
Posts: 3,592
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It would be useful to have some guidance as to what the business will be (leisure or hospitality industry, for eg) as those with particular experience could respond more precisely but in the absence of that...
So you'll be working closely with your OH? Like 24/7? If so, have you ever done that before? Working in the same place as a partner can be great if you're really great friends but it can also stress a partnership which had previously looked solid. I've seen this - OH and I work very well together but I've also seen relationships struggle when two people are only seeing each other day after day and need to be self-motivated and disciplined in their approach to work. If one is a real self-starter and the other is a bit... less so! then if the motivated on has to nag the other one to get things done... not good. Make sure you get some you time and couple time factored into the work. If you're working and living as a group - you may go crazy if you don't get time for just you; also set time aside to do fun, non-work things together. And you'll have your in-laws on board too? Again, relationships that have worked well in the past may be reworked completely when it becomes a working relationship. And in any working relationship, you can find that people align with each other and your OH could get thoroughly miffed if he feels his parents are siding with you over business strategies, direction, etc. Lots of people move to France with plans for restaurants, b&bs or small hotels, craft businesses, etc, and they've found success more challenging than they expected because what looks like - or even is - fun for the first few months or even years - may look less appealing - even become mundane and boring - if you look at continuing something for 10 or 20 years. Do business plans, analyse books, etc, but also try and do some projections about where you'd be / what you'd do if you split up as a couple or began to dislike what you're doing in 5 or 10 years time. What's the escape route and what impact would one or both leaving have on the business. Knowing you have options is a psychological prop which often means you don't need those options. I'm a glass half-full person but talking about the difficult and less appealing things is healthy. Put ideas about we only regret the things we didn't do out of your head - it's not really accurate if, as I have, you've seen really nice, hard-working people bankrupt themselves "following their dream" . Good luck - and great success - with whatever you decide.
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#20 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: London
Posts: 441
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Quote:
It would be useful to have some guidance as to what the business will be (leisure or hospitality industry, for eg) as those with particular experience could respond more precisely but in the absence of that...
but I don't think anyone in the family hangs around these forums, and no one else knows about it. It's a vineyard, retirement sale, already established with award winning wines by an external winemaker (and we've tasted them and they were really good quality), but it's tiny as far as vineyards go, with some scope for expanding a little. It's currently a one man operation, and could do with some more marketing.Quote:
So you'll be working closely with your OH? Like 24/7? If so, have you ever done that before? Working in the same place as a partner can be great if you're really great friends but it can also stress a partnership which had previously looked solid. I've seen this - OH and I work very well together but I've also seen relationships struggle when two people are only seeing each other day after day and need to be self-motivated and disciplined in their approach to work. If one is a real self-starter and the other is a bit... less so! then if the motivated on has to nag the other one to get things done... not good.
Make sure you get some you time and couple time factored into the work. If you're working and living as a group - you may go crazy if you don't get time for just you; also set time aside to do fun, non-work things together. Quote:
And you'll have your in-laws on board too? Again, relationships that have worked well in the past may be reworked completely when it becomes a working relationship. And in any working relationship, you can find that people align with each other and your OH could get thoroughly miffed if he feels his parents are siding with you over business strategies, direction, etc.
Lots of people move to France with plans for restaurants, b&bs or small hotels, craft businesses, etc, and they've found success more challenging than they expected because what looks like - or even is - fun for the first few months or even years - may look less appealing - even become mundane and boring - if you look at continuing something for 10 or 20 years. Quote:
Do business plans, analyse books, etc, but also try and do some projections about where you'd be / what you'd do if you split up as a couple or began to dislike what you're doing in 5 or 10 years time. What's the escape route and what impact would one or both leaving have on the business. Knowing you have options is a psychological prop which often means you don't need those options.
I'm a glass half-full person but talking about the difficult and less appealing things is healthy. Put ideas about we only regret the things we didn't do out of your head - it's not really accurate if, as I have, you've seen really nice, hard-working people bankrupt themselves "following their dream" . Good luck - and great success - with whatever you decide. ![]() |
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#21 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: France
Posts: 3,592
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It sounds fascinating and very appealing as something to be involved in. There was a period in the late 90s / early 00s when we drank a lot of English wines and thought they were excellent. I 'm not that fond of champagnes (under £30-ish) but I've had less expensive English sparkling wines that have really hit the spot in flavour and value.
If there's still going to be an opportunity for you to work outside the business that's a help and something that is really in its favour... it gives you options and also a way of supplementing the income if cashflow gets a bit... restricted... from time to time. Both OH and I have run our own businesses - I still do - don't be surprised by how overwhelming a business on the premises can be. You have to be quite disciplined to 'close the door' either metaphorically or literally on 'work' and you can find that you're occupied with it 6.5 days a week most of the year and unless it's a real passion, that can get to be stressful and claustrophobic. I think if none of you have experience of marketing, one of you - you, perhaps - might start a marketing course / qualification - even a degree. It will help you think about marketing ideas, the brand and perhaps how you could make yourselves part of the brand and how to capitalise on that. It won't necessarily mean you won't need outside marketing and PR expertise (which need not cost a fortune) but it will give you an added insight into what you want the values and 'face' of your company to be and what you want from an agency. As the climate changes, I think English wines - especially bio (organic) wines - will become better known and more popular so you could have a very interesting career ahead of you. Good luck.
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#22 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 12,185
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Product-wise you're not walking into a ready made business. Its a specialised area, a passion. Unless you know the product inside out, and aware of all the risks (including increasing threats of, say, mycotoxins) you're playing with fire. The science you will need to be aware may be overwhelming. The regulatory policy, supported by the science, is also challenging. Then, beyond that, there's the standard businiess admin stuff.
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