I'm probably going to invest in commodities.
Commodities are agricultural products... like coffee that you had for breakfast... wheat, which is used to make bread... pork bellies, which is used to make bacon, which you might find in a 'bacon and lettuce and tomato' sandwich.
(NB: if you want a serious thread, you should probably ease off on the sanctimonious tone to your OP. Maybe write this one off and start again, but without the reference to any other threads or calling posters fcukwits?)