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Women not going out alone |
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#26 |
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I grew up in the deep countryside, so I've never grown up being drilled with fear of the dark (except for vampires, etc from watching Buffy!). It's stuck with me in the city. I don't walk in patently unsafe areas, but I've been happy to walk home by myself if the opportunity presents.
I'm pretty comfortable in the dark though - my parents wouldn't stay out as late as I do. I walked home for an hour after dark without a torch and had a deer run across my path, and a badger down the road too - it was fun! My city friends are all very diligent though, and will always see everyone to the door, not even let one of us go in a taxi alone etc. |
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#27 |
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Quote:
I did say 'such attacks' for a reason as I did think that this different attack was a possibility from your posts.
This thread is about women walking alone at night, hence the 'such attacks' part, although I do take your point. Your personal experience unfortuantely doesn't change those experiences of people who were attacked whilst out, alone. And it can happen and if it has then I completely understand why that person would be fearful in future. But it is such a small risk that to change one's life, curtail ones freedom and blight what one can do, in anticipation of a possibility really doesn't make much sense. For me its a question of assessing and manging risk rather than llving less of a life through fear. That's one an individual level, on a societal level I have more of an issue with the 'lock up your women folk cos there is danger out there' attitude. To me it seems really unjust and illogical to place a curfew on the victims and potential victims while allowing the perpetrators and potential perpetrators to move freely. I feel that the fear we have of going about our business after dark effectively creates opportunities for the ner-do-well. The fewer decent people there are using the streets and being present to bear witness, the easier we make it for the darker characters to be at large. |
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#28 |
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I agree that there are some areas of cities and towns which aren't safe for anyone at night.
The OP was talking about a night-time walk in the woods and common though. I reckon its highly unlikely that anyone would get attacked in a rural setting like that at night. Many people would probably be more fearful of walking in the woods at night rather than down a lit city street. Its probably due to an instinctive fear of the dark and ideas from horror movies rather than being based on any facts or evidence though. Biggest risk is probably tripping over a log or rock and banging your head.
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#29 |
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I have been attacked. And guess what - it was someone I knew - well a friend of a friend who came to our house for a party she was having. He came into my room (uninvited) in the middle of the night. So if I were to avoid dangerous places my own bedroom would have to top the list.
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#30 |
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This time of year my walk to and from work takes me along a badly lit redway and around an unlit lake so I have no problem walking in the dark alone. The only thing that stops me once I'm home from work is laziness, once I'm in from work I am done for the day
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#31 |
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Yesterday evening about 7 PM I took a walk out over the local common and through the woods. About a mile. The moon was just lighting it up with a silvery light, and frost was sparkling on the grass. I thought that it was quite magical - like an 1800's line drawing with shade and light.
I thought also that in all the times I have walked out at night, I have never seen a woman out on her own just to enjoy the evening and go a walk for exercise whilst I have seen quite a few men - walking the dog or just out for a solo walk. I initially thought it may be the fear of men attacking, but that had me wondering - women, if you knew you could go out without being attacked, would you - or is it just the lack of interest in going out alone 'just for the sake of it' in the evening that stops you? |
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#32 |
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It's fair to say, people who have walked out alone at night for a long time, they become accclimatized to it, and have less fear. Than some other people may. I guess that can be a good and bad thing.
Also probably a good idea women carry personal safety alarms with them. In fact, a good idea for anyone if they feel the need. If it helps someone enjoy there walk more and feel even more relaxed, then why not. |
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#33 |
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I mean go out walking alone, obviously. Not going out in the car, or with friends etc - which she does reasonably regularly.
I wouldn't be keen on her going out walking alone for any length of time purely from a safety point of view. She hates the idea of doing that anyway, so it's never led to any kind of disagreement between us. We sing from the same song sheet on that issue. (To be honest, we're both pretty house bound in the evenings these days anyway. Combination of having young kids, having plenty of jobs to do on/in the house and being knackered after work! ) |
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#34 |
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I never see anyone going for a walk unless they've got a dog, and not many of them really.
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#35 |
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The only time we go out walking at night time is when we go to the local theatre and have to walk from the car park before and after the show. A nervy quick walk
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#36 |
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I have been attacked. And guess what - it was someone I knew - well a friend of a friend who came to our house for a party she was having. He came into my room (uninvited) in the middle of the night. So if I were to avoid dangerous places my own bedroom would have to top the list.
I've been attacked too An, I was attacked by two men 50 yards from my house I didn't know them. I also got a taxi home one night from a night class because i thought it would be safer than getting 3 different buses and waiting 20 minutes between each bus. The taxi was driven off the road and we were held up at gunpoint. I didn't know the man who did that either. I was chased up the road, walking back from the tube after a late shift, to my flat and managed to get in the front door and shut it while the bloke banged on the door and then shoved his penis through the letterbox for some reason. I didn't know him either. I was in bed one night when a man climbed in my bedroom window. I didn't know him. I was asleep on another occasion when two men kicked my flat door in. I didn't know either of them. If I were to avoid dangerous places, Brixton would be top of my list, all my attacks happened there by people i didn't know. |
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#37 |
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My son used to do country night-walks with cubs/scouts and I went on a few to help out. On a clear night you can see the stars and sometimes see/hear bats and owls that you wouldn't spot during the day. As long as you've got a good torch its quite good.
(although some of them seemed to spend most of the walk looking at their mobiles which spoilt it a bit but that's another story! |
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#38 |
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I'll often walk home alone at night if I've been down in the town with friends. I live about a mile up the road and the road is pretty busy with traffic so I generally feel safe.
Plus ordering a cab or an Uber I may just find myself getting into the car with the guy who's going to assault me anyway ![]() If I'm driving home late and see a young woman walking alone I will usually stop and offer her a lift. |
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#39 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Quote:
I travelled the world on my own, at night even in war zones.
I've been attacked too An, I was attacked by two men 50 yards from my house I didn't know them. I also got a taxi home one night from a night class because i thought it would be safer than getting 3 different buses and waiting 20 minutes between each bus. The taxi was driven off the road and we were held up at gunpoint. I didn't know the man who did that either. I was chased up the road, walking back from the tube after a late shift, to my flat and managed to get in the front door and shut it while the bloke banged on the door and then shoved his penis through the letterbox for some reason. I didn't know him either. I was in bed one night when a man climbed in my bedroom window. I didn't know him. I was asleep on another occasion when two men kicked my flat door in. I didn't know either of them. If I were to avoid dangerous places, Brixton would be top of my list, all my attacks happened there by people i didn't know. I am not sure whether to be appaulled, amused or impressed.! Was it attached or in an envelope?![]() And I know you know this but I have lived just down the road off Coldharbour Lane (we called it Camberwell. ) and personally I never had any bother at all. Although my best friend did witness a shooting one afternoon as she was getting off the bus just by Loughborough Jct.
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#40 |
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I'll often walk home alone at night if I've been down in the town with friends. I live about a mile up the road and the road is pretty busy with traffic so I generally feel safe.
Plus ordering a cab or an Uber I may just find myself getting into the car with the guy who's going to assault me anyway ![]() If I'm driving home late and see a young woman walking alone I will usually stop and offer her a lift. But hey that's life and society, often pretty weird generally. |
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#41 |
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Penis through a letter box.
I am not sure whether to be appaulled, amused or impressed. !And I know you know this but I have lived just down the road off Cold Harbour Lane (we called it Camberwell. ) and personally I never had any bother at all. Although my best friend did witness a shooting one afternoon as she was getting off the bus just by Loughborough Jct. Another anecdote for work the next day "you'll never guess what happened last night?!"How long were you there for? I lived on Brixton Hill and police sirens were constant all night. Just down the road one woman was waiting for her bus to work at 8am on Brixton Hill and she was taken into a house raped and set on fire. It was quite a famous case. When i learnt to drive i was driving down my road and a young man ran out threw a brick through the window of the car in front and stole bags out of the car. My next door neighbour murdered his landlord one night. Sitting in the back garden one afternoon a bloke jumped over the wall from next door ran across the garden and jumped over the wall the other side, about a minute later several policemen did the same.That shoe bomber bloke Richard Reid lived on my road, i used to see him walking u the road every day until he turned up on the news. Then there's the people cutting the straps of your handbag/backpack when you're queuing to get on the bus. The weirdest one was my car used to disappear. I'd wake up in the morning to go to work and my car was gone i'd usually find it a couple of streets away. It was bizarre. My favourite Brixton story was about the Brixton bombing. The bomb was left outside Iceland in a Head gym bag. Turned out someone had takn the bomb out of the bag and stolen the gym bag leaving the bomb there. Just seemed typical.
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#42 |
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I go for long walks in the dark sometimes I don't get home till the early hours but still have to walk the dog. Its always very relaxing to walk very late or very early. its a form of meditation for me
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#43 |
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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I didn't recognise the penis. But it just seemed like an average night in Brixton at the time
Another anecdote for work the next day "you'll never guess what happened last night?!"How long were you there for? I lived on Brixton Hill and police sirens were constant all night. Just down the road one woman was waiting for her bus to work at 8am on Brixton Hill and she was taken into a house raped and set on fire. It was quite a famous case. When i learnt to drive i was driving down my road and a young man ran out threw a brick through the window of the car in front and stole bags out of the car. My next door neighbour murdered his landlord one night. Sitting in the back garden one afternoon a bloke jumped over the wall from next door ran across the garden and jumped over the wall the other side, about a minute later several policemen did the same.That shoe bomber bloke Richard Reid lived on my road, i used to see him walking u the road every day until he turned up on the news. Then there's the people cutting the straps of your handbag/backpack when you're queuing to get on the bus. The weirdest one was my car used to disappear. I'd wake up in the morning to go to work and my car was gone i'd usually find it a couple of streets away. It was bizarre. My favourite Brixton story was about the Brixton bombing. The bomb was left outside Iceland in a Head gym bag. Turned out someone had takn the bomb out of the bag and stolen the gym bag leaving the bomb there. Just seemed typical. ![]() ![]() ![]() Pity really. The identity parade would have been interesting. Police - So Ms Planets - Did you recognise said penis. You - No officer it wasn't one I had come across before but I would know it if I saw it again. Police - So do you think you could pick it out of a line up? ![]() ![]()
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#44 |
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Walking out alone at night with a dog is slightly different though. Depending on the dog to some degree.
Other humans are often cautious of dogs, even scummy humans.
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#45 |
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![]() ![]() Pity teally. The identity parade woudl have been intresting. Police - So Ms Planets - Did you recognise said penis. You - No officer it wasn't one I had come across before but I would know it if I saw it again. Police - So do you think you could pick it out of a line up? ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#46 |
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![]() ![]() Pity really. The identity parade would have been interesting. Police - So Ms Planets - Did you recognise said penis. You - No officer it wasn't one I had come across before but I would know it if I saw it again. Police - So do you think you could pick it out of a line up? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#47 |
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Walking out alone at night with a dog is slightly different though. Depending on the dog to some degree.
Other humans are often cautious of dogs, even scummy humans.I personally feel most people see what they expect. My ex hated women drivers, he never seem to see the bad men drivers. Like another ex who hated Asian women drivers he only noticed bad Asian women drivers. I see just as many women walkers as men in fact in the very early mornings I see more women than men. But they are cleaners who are up bright and early |
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#48 |
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OP said they do not see women out with the dog either its all men
I personally feel most people see what they expect. My ex hated women drivers, he never seem to see the bad men drivers. Like another ex who hated Asian women drivers he only noticed bad Asian women drivers. I see just as many women walkers as men in fact in the very early mornings I see more women than men. But they are cleaners who are up bright and early |
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#49 |
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Penis through a letter box.
I am not sure whether to be appaulled, amused or impressed.! Was it attached or in an envelope?![]() And I know you know this but I have lived just down the road off Coldharbour Lane (we called it Camberwell. ) and personally I never had any bother at all. Although my best friend did witness a shooting one afternoon as she was getting off the bus just by Loughborough Jct.![]() I used to work for Lambeth council. I often had to go to evening meetings at Brixton town hall and quite often wouldn't get away till around midnight. I never felt at risk walking to my car afterwards, as there were always a lot of people about. I felt a lot safer there than where I lived in Croydon, where it was much quieter. I feel perfectly safe late at night where I live now, including up on the downs with the dog. I carry a torch though, as the council turn our street lights off at midnight and it's pitch black unless there's a bright moon. Last time I was (unexpectedly) out late, I had to find my gate by touch. |
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#50 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Aberdeen
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Quote:
Penis through a letter box.
I am not sure whether to be appaulled, amused or impressed.! Was it attached or in an envelope?![]() |
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I am not sure whether to be appaulled, amused or impressed.! Was it attached or in an envelope?