Our wee boy is 3 and a half. He's never been the best sleeper but there have been periods where he would sleep in his own bed all night. Recently though it's been horrendous.

It's difficult to get him to settle down and go to sleep at night. I need to lie in the room with him and it can take 2 hours. I find that so frustrating because it's the end of the day and I'm tired too but I don't want to go to bed at 7.30/8pm. I still have stuff to do like walk the dog and tidy the kitchen before maybe getting half an hour's peace before I do then have to go to bed.

Now we're finding he's up every night, demanding that one of us (normally me) goes back to his bed with him. We even have a toddler bed in our bedroom but he refuses to get into that in the night.

He will sleep if he gets to go into bed with mum and stays there all night meaning I have to sleep elsewhere but to be honest it has me utterly exhausted and run ragged. I can hardly see straight today and look horrendous because of his bedtime antics. I just really need him to:

Go to bed at 7.30/8pm
Stay in his own bed until 6.30am.

It's literally the only thing I ask of him.

Any suggestions?

You've pandered to him I think, and paying the price. Just sit him down and tell him firmly that it's all going to change from now on. Trying not to let him have a daytime nap is a good thing, so that he's tired out after teatime. Give him bath, put him to bed, read him a story and leave him, with a night light if necessary. If he gets up you have to make him get back into bed, keep taking him back in if necessary, and don't under any circumstances allow him to sleep with your wife or yourself.

It all sounds harsh but it's a case of breaking a habit which like any habit can be difficult. Good parenting is all it is. You have to be the boss and not let your son break you down. If he cries or loses his temper, just ignore him and be firm. Eventually he'll come to realise it's futile, and give up. You could also tell him any treats like sweeties if you allow them, or going to the pool / play park are going to stop until he changes his behaviour at bed time - at 3½ he's old enough to understand a bargain between you and him. Persevere and good luck

We've tried all of this extensively but it doesn't make any difference. Thanks for the tip about trying "good parenting" though. Really helpful, hadn't thought of that, will give it a go and see how we get on.

I have two boys of my own, they're 22 and 24 now, so I've been through a few things. Neither of them went to bed much before 8.30 pm as little lads, though they were always fed, bathed and ready for it. They just played happily and sat with us on the sofa where we would read a story, and then you would see them rubbing their eyes ! Went straight to bed and were out for the count until about 7.00 am. We could never have got them into bed and asleep by 7 - 7.30 pm like some do - they were too alert and inquisitive, and in any case, we didn't mind them still up until 9.00 pm because they were no bother - that time was the cut off point and it worked.

Have you tried putting a story CD on for him to listen too? Both little Girths (3 and 8) normally fall asleep listening to one.

You then have new bargaining chip of "if you don't stay in bed then the CD is going off"

Thanks, will try putting the time back a bit again.

I don't think we have any devices that actually play a CD anymore but great idea thank you. I'm sure I can download something.

Our son was a difficult sleeper at that age. We put on soft music (quietly) that settled him. It took a while to find what settled him, I think you just need to experiment with things.

Brandy...


Obviously not really, but what others have said is all you can do really, frustrating as it is.

Go browse Mumsnet.

Our children are always baffled by the fact our 2 and 3 year old grandchildren sleep all night at ours - mainly because Mummy and Daddy aren't around to be played up 😊
But then we learned from our experiences in the days when our parents weren't living nearby.

Yeah, we don't have that grandparents around to help either. Tonight was not too horrendous. He didn't sleep at nursery which always helps.

Millpond sleep clinic book try the gradual retreat method. My daughter was exactly the same until she was two years old. I was at the end of my tether.

Took 4 nights (they were a tough 4 nights) and then he started sleeping through.

She's 11 now and can't get her out of bed lol

we went through the same thing with our youngest son. He was an absolute nightmare, exactly how you have described. We tried all sorts of things that didn't work. In the end we did gradual retreat at bedtime. if he came into our room in the night we took him straight back to bed,cuddled him and left the room. It took a few weeks but he stopped coming in and stayed in his own bed. He's 4 now and sleeps all night. I know how tempting it is to just put them in your bed when you're exhausted but you've got to stop it if you want him to stay in his bed. Look up gradual retreat and good luck I know how tough it is.

I've always been a big believer in wear them out and they will sleep, lots of running around during the afternoon, then bring them down with a nice warm bath, story and then they are snoring before you know it. But I'm also aware we sometimes expect all kids to need same amount of sleep, whereas looking at adult sleep patterns I'm not so sure they do, some manage on less.

Stop the sleep at nursery completely. By 3 and a half some kids just don't need it.

Yep, that's the intention but there is the odd day that he just falls asleep and I can't expect them to do Guantanamo style sleep deprivation.

Yesterday at home he was early out for the count mid afternoon and I had to battle to keep him awake. Then at bedtime he wouldn't go down. He eventually fell asleep on Mum's knee in the living room at about 9 and then we put him down. And he slept right through gill 7 in his own bed, which was nice.

We wear him out alright but he really does have quite the engine.