Yep. It is true.

A few weeks ago, I was at this garden centre and I started up this conversation with one of the gnomes there. He was very sweet and asked if he could text me. I said yes, but he never did as he couldn't really get his cement fingers to work so he got a mate to call me (a fellow gnome who had more flexible fingers) and he asked me out on a date.

We went fishing for the day and he caught a big piece of haddock and I just watched him in the sun while listening to the sounds of the birds chirping and the bee's beeing.

However, our romance fizzled out the day after as he suddenly became inexplicably hard to get hold of, and always had his answer phone on.

Then, lo and behold..I look at the pics on the net today..and there he is! My gnome, Toppy, holding his fishing rod! It is even rumoured he may be the one who has the camera to spy on the HM's with!

I am so glad....at least I know I wasn't dumped. And I look forward to resuming our friendship when he comes out of the BB house in August.

*note to self..never post on launch nights when you just cannot keep up with all the posts, have had a glass of wine in the sun, go into warp speed trying to speed read, and post something very surreal and bizarre instead*

You're just showing off, but I am here to end your triumph as I, yes me, I had a year long relationship with the diary room chair (I'm a sofa btw )

Nurse ...The curtains please

poor Boho are you sur it's just the one glass of wine yopu've had

is the gnome called maths or french?

lol RAH..yes I'm sure!

Well, alot of people were posting that they knew someone in the house and I felt left out!

I think someones been out in the sun too long today !

Just trying to be humorous (and failing) as there were a couple of wee rows going on

Okay....I'll get me coat!

No he just likes a little role play. Dr Merlin I pressume?

OHHHHHH Matron!!!

well i am now 3 quqters of the wasy through a bottle of white as well, so am felling pretty merry now myself

No, you haven't failed but I have some bad news ... Toppy (with fishing rod and remains of said haddock) is sitting in my garden as we speak. The 'Toppy' you saw was a hideous fake. He told me to tell you ..."it wasn't you, it was me that had the problem". He wants to let you down gently but is unsure how to go about it. He wants to send you some flowers or fishing rod or piece of haddock or something for you to remember your time together.

Bloomin heck..the cheating little gnome!

Ttell him where he can stick his flowers and haddock!

Oh well, my one claim to fame, gone in a flash.

You just can't trust gnomes can you.