Off the MSN site........
Bigger, Better & Back
Big Brother exploded back onto Channel 4 last Friday with the shallowest bunch to have graced our screens since, well, Celebrity Love Island. This year's desperate housemates include a gay, fox-hunting Tory, a white witch who claims to have been abducted by aliens, and says she's like Lady Macbeth (she's certainly mad), a mulleted hairdresser who 'has never read a book' (we'd never have guessed), and ten more assorted chavs and borderline breakdown cases, most of whom were unable to negotiate a flight of stairs and a door, never mind three months in the Big Brother house. I, for one, am already hooked.
Within hours, Lesley From Huddersfield (or was it Uddersfield?) had bared all and participated in a three-way snog with crap dancer Anthony and Vicky Pollard sound-a-like Vanessa. Her parents must be so proud. Meanwhile, open-minded promo girl Saskia thinks that all refugees want to kill us and bomb us, but says she's not racist because she's one quarter Sri Lankan. I'm glad she cleared that one up. But it's Science who has been at the root of more clashes so far. Freestyling like a poor man's Victor, the self-styled ghetto spokesman's main beef is with Makosi because she removed his salad cream from the shopping list ("all I wanted was salad cream and fish fingers"). Airhead Makosi is the 'unlucky 13th housemate', her task in week one to garner the most nominations from her housemates in order to ensure immunity from the public vote; the kind of inspired manipulation of housemates that makes Big Brother untouchable by any other reality show. A simple enough premise, it took her many tedious explanations to grasp what she had to do: namely, be annoying and talk about herself all the time. Hadn't she been doing that anyway?
Already, the accusations of being shallow and immature - a sure sign of being shallow and immature - are flowing thick and fast. So, if we can deal with 13 weeks of hearing every sentence begin and end with "innit," "dyouknowwhatimean," and "at the end of the day," this could be the most entertaining series yet. Early frontrunners are Maxwell, an obnoxious cockney wideboy whose middle name is Trotter (no, really). Sam, a self-confessed sex-mad student, is also a safe bet for the final four, and claims: "I'm quite classy really". No, love, you're not. Truly rank outsider Kemal could be the one to watch though. A bisexual Turkish belly dancer whose cries of "Is this the house?" and "Is this a bedroom?" have already won him the title of thickest housemate, he might yet surprise us all.
Bigger, Better & Back
Big Brother exploded back onto Channel 4 last Friday with the shallowest bunch to have graced our screens since, well, Celebrity Love Island. This year's desperate housemates include a gay, fox-hunting Tory, a white witch who claims to have been abducted by aliens, and says she's like Lady Macbeth (she's certainly mad), a mulleted hairdresser who 'has never read a book' (we'd never have guessed), and ten more assorted chavs and borderline breakdown cases, most of whom were unable to negotiate a flight of stairs and a door, never mind three months in the Big Brother house. I, for one, am already hooked.
Within hours, Lesley From Huddersfield (or was it Uddersfield?) had bared all and participated in a three-way snog with crap dancer Anthony and Vicky Pollard sound-a-like Vanessa. Her parents must be so proud. Meanwhile, open-minded promo girl Saskia thinks that all refugees want to kill us and bomb us, but says she's not racist because she's one quarter Sri Lankan. I'm glad she cleared that one up. But it's Science who has been at the root of more clashes so far. Freestyling like a poor man's Victor, the self-styled ghetto spokesman's main beef is with Makosi because she removed his salad cream from the shopping list ("all I wanted was salad cream and fish fingers"). Airhead Makosi is the 'unlucky 13th housemate', her task in week one to garner the most nominations from her housemates in order to ensure immunity from the public vote; the kind of inspired manipulation of housemates that makes Big Brother untouchable by any other reality show. A simple enough premise, it took her many tedious explanations to grasp what she had to do: namely, be annoying and talk about herself all the time. Hadn't she been doing that anyway?
Already, the accusations of being shallow and immature - a sure sign of being shallow and immature - are flowing thick and fast. So, if we can deal with 13 weeks of hearing every sentence begin and end with "innit," "dyouknowwhatimean," and "at the end of the day," this could be the most entertaining series yet. Early frontrunners are Maxwell, an obnoxious cockney wideboy whose middle name is Trotter (no, really). Sam, a self-confessed sex-mad student, is also a safe bet for the final four, and claims: "I'm quite classy really". No, love, you're not. Truly rank outsider Kemal could be the one to watch though. A bisexual Turkish belly dancer whose cries of "Is this the house?" and "Is this a bedroom?" have already won him the title of thickest housemate, he might yet surprise us all.
