Anthony would be baby sweetcorn, because he sees himself as small and perfectly formed.
Craig would be mixed with spinach to make extra strong mince (I'll get me' coat!)
Derek would be liquorice, because he's black, slender and leaves a bitter aftertaste.
Kemal would be a bottle of Camp Coffee methinks.
Lesley would be Turkey Twizzlers, fried in extra lard.
Makosi could be a box of Black Magic surely. Who will get to eat her first?
Mary may well be gorgonzola - hangs around in the fridge for a week, causing a hell of a stink, then gets chucked out anyway!
Maxwell can be a plate of jellied eels. Synonymous with Cockneys. They're frequently in evidence, lacking in class and end up making you sick.
Roberto will be a packet of sage and onion stuffing, so he can more easily be full of himself.
Sam might well be a pair of fried eggs, for reasons which are self-explanatory.
Saskia is going to be a mixed grill. Promises a bit of everything, but none of it's very appealing.
Science will definitely be a box of biscuits from LIDL - appears promising and good value, but you can't understand what the hell any of it says.
Vanessa is a jar of cocktail cherries - everyone fleetingly notices them, without having a clue what they're doing in the cupboard.
