A spokesperson for Hertfordshire Social Services said today,
"I can confirm that we have taken Baby Brittany, born today in the Big Brother Hospital, into care.
Her unmarried mother had infected her with the ability to bitch from birth."
Brittany had repeatedly threated other babies in the maternity unit, claiming they were prettier than she was.

I would want the child put into care, too..

Imagine coming into the world, opening your eyes and seeing Lesley and Craig staring at you! It'd make you think you might as well not bother.

"The mother, after a labour full of bitching and complaining and criticising the nurses' hair, is doing well, although is now undergoing pyschiatric evaluation because she thinks the whole country loves her."