Yo ho ho, a veritable treasure trove of Christmas tree booty:
Sam is a Rubik's cube. Or possibly a Rubik's magic.
Science is one of those little pop-up monster things with the springs underside.
Maxwell's a Flat Eric/Gordon the Gopher hand puppet.
Roberto's one of those old Action Men figures, watching the popularity of the new ones with a tear in his Eagle Eyes.
Saskia's a deluxe Bratz doll.
Vanessa's one of those big mouth games where the head revolves around and you have to flip things into its mouth when it snaps open.
Derek's a Victorian coin operated burlesque peepshow.
Anthony's a Ken doll.
Craig's a Tiny Tears doll.
Kemal's one of those weird fluffy things that bounce up and down on a spring wobbling about speaking jibberish. You know, those things you can buy from tacky seaside crap shacks.
And Makosi is a spinning top. That bites.