Dear Craig,

Now that you're back in Cromer, I was wondering if you've had time to reflect on your time in the Big Brother House.

I hope you've come to terms with your very confused sexuality. Being gay is fine. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

However, quit trying to date straight men - it's not going to work out.

I would also urge you strongly to consider the effects your bitchiness will have on YOU, not on the people you bitch about. You are filling yourself up with poison and hatred that will not serve you well in the future.

I would suggest you seek some form of counselling to work out why it is you feel the need to criticise and complain about everyone and everything. You will do well to remember that the world does not operate to your schedule.

Still, you're young, and you can improve. I applaud your bravery for going on to Big Brother. I just wonder though if you've realised how toe-curlingly awful watching you and Anthony getting it on has been for us all.

Good luck for the future (and keep working on the haircuts!),

Vite.d

my signature and that of my entire family and circle of friends.
Could you also add that we are not watching the show, highlights or live, again until he is evicted; he is so nasty to others and so self-centred that he talks everyone else down.
We would also like to suggest that a course in Listening Skills may help, although possibly best to wait until the 'boos' have all died down after his inevitable, but long-overdue eviction.

...I'm not sure a course on listening skills will be much use to him - think he needs life long psychotherapy!

reply on behalf of Craig:

Thanks for your letter but I aren't confused sexually, it's the guys I fancy that don't know they really want me!

Nobody, my dear is straight, well after six pints anywaaaaay!

I have been to see a councellour but he wanted me so bad, I had to say "No, it would be unprofessional of you"

Yes, I am a bitch and proud of it. I have worked hard at it and by your reaction, it seems to have paid off. Cool!

I am young and yes, I need to improve, as my pulling technique is a bit limited to dumb geordies.

I don't think I was brave for being in Big Brother, I are like you or any other idiot......... wasn't really rocket science were it.

You'll be happy to note I have added another cut to my repetoire. That makes two in all!

luv ya
Craig xxx

P.S Gotta go as the world stopped revolving while I was writing this! x

You are Craig and I claim my £5

Anthony "straight"? Can I have a pint of what you're drinking?

Surely that will be...

"Dear Craig,
Now that you've been locked up for stalking Anthony..."

Dear Craig

I have been instructed to act on behalf of Anthony. Since coming out of the big brother house, a number of incidents and conversations have been brought to his attention. With this regard, Anthony would like to ask that you do not come within a 2 mile radius of his person and stop calling yourself his friend.

Yours faithfully
Getridofyourstalker Solicitors

are mental patiants allowed paper?,
surely they can do dameage to themselfs with nasty paper cuts?

You forgot:

P.P.S End of.

as an addendum,i'd've added

be careful when you wander around,"threatening to knock that little shit out,in the outside world",when talking about kemal.

because other people in the house might think/say those things to you,and then you'll (a) forget about your previous actions and words,and cry like the smacked arse that you are, or (b) cry like a snivelling baby, or (c) start crying and then cry a bit more,then get bullied into a gang you hate,then get treated like a dog,foreverandeverandeverandeverandever, or (d) get the shoeing you deserve,you sad excuse for a person

anthony is the best housemate in there!

he is deffo straight!