Ok simple one here.... no debate ... no whinging... no flaming or sniping... just.. .. a GOOD Yarn.

Please don't post with quotes

Please don't write millions of words

Carry the story onwards logically .. but humourously

and let your fantasies roam large

You ready.................................

OK Here goes.............

Big Brother calls Kate into the diary room.

'hello Big Brother' says the affable cheeky courageous Kate

"Hello Kate" says the guy sitting up on the production desk
<thinks> Gos she's drop dead gorgeous
"Kate I want you to do something special for me
I want you to ...............................................

Kate, I want you to grow up you gormless halfwit.

.........get out of the camera view so that we can see the fun going on in the background

Doesn't quite carry the story forward methinks.....

"Hello Kate" says the guy sitting up on the production desk
<thinks> Gos she's drop dead gorgeous
"Kate I want you to do something special for me
I want you to ...............................................

CHILDREN... no milk for you at playtime if you persist in being children

I don't understand is this story only to be added to if you Love Kate

Unfortunately Epicurus rather ruined the start of the story. Its simple... its a STORY .. on other forums these can run and run and be really good fun... sadly on here.. maybe that's not possible.

Its about BB - anything you like..love or hate Kate or Tim or whoever is not relevant.

<thinks> why is this so difficult??

Shall we start again


Once upon a time there was a studio lot in Elstree that was pretty vacant. Someone had the idea that.................

putting together 12 strangers in a house for 10 weeks and filming them, would be a good idea.....

They trawled the country for the most intelligent and vivacious contestants and sent them into the 'house'. It worked fine until..........

Jade opened her mouth. She didnt seem to speak the same language as the rest of the housemates. They couldnt understand her constant gabbling, so...

.................they were set their first task.

which was to master the basics of a foreign language.

This involved talking for 60 seconds without using the words: ****, @arse, gurs, mate, Lee, minging, cool or yeah.

Jonny went first.............

and then Chichikov bought a troika and sped across the steppes in search of more dead souls.

PR@ ALERT!!!!!!

Tim has an booze problem which started at Eton. On Tuesday he is nominated and that evening finds him pissed out of his mind alone in a pool of vomit on the floor of the rich house. We and the other HMs can only watch in horror as he lies in a pool of his own vomit or leaning on the bars murmuring something about "ginger bollocks".Friday night's eviction finds him delerious, unwashed and very smelly as he is carried from the house by two minders clutching his James Bond suitcase ....

...upon Tim being carried out (apperently having drunk his hair dye that was not so masterfully concealed in the bottles of cider), Sandy returns to the house, SAS style , climbing over the roof and.............

As he is carried out the house, he comes round and sees that everyone outsied is sporting a curly ginger wig.
He shouts 'everyone knows my terrible secret, i am going to...

erm.... said Johnny erm....

ah **** it - i'm used to the poor side anyway - Im king of the castle over there man **** **** feck

Johnny waddled over to the poorside wearing 15 pairs of jeans and twenty t shirts as his little satchel was full of tabs

Alex stepped forward .....

It was his turn ........

damn, someone got there b4 me!
I meant to say side, not sied

oops - too slow - sorry

Meanwhile, in the BB viewing studio the producer shakes his head in despair as his assistant tells him
"even the DS threads on BB3 are falling apart" !!
We need to turn this thing on its head but how?

Dun Dun Duuuuuuuunnnnnn!

AD BREAK!