Me and Tim have something to tell you all...

anyone up for a game of follow the van. Tim desperate for someone to show some sort of affection to undesirable jumps at the offer, sadly to find its just him and Jonny in for the game. Jonny drives the van along Tims........

singed ginger hairlinedisrupting tims carefully coiffed tressess. not knowing about bblb's 'ginge watch' the snobby one offers to be jonny's 'bitch' as long as he doesn't tell the others about his carrotness. jonny asks for definitive proof and as tim unbuttons his flies [?] walks in and says.......

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me. cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me .

We cant all fit in tims trousers says Jade, how about .......

"...I just strip off, I reckon you can all fit into me. I only charge £10 a go, well unless yer a lawyer, then...."

then i'll pay you to go inside. Tim takes the tenner and hops in, but oh no...jade has positioned herself next to the barrier, and Tim climbing in had inadvertedly crossed the divide. BB is heard to say..........

"Can all housemate remember to position their mics correctly.... we want all of this for the uncut DVD"....

The announcement startles Jonny who - was - just about to climb in. Out of the corner of his eye he sees one of the chickens, looks back at Jade - and leaves Timmy to squirm about in there. Coom on me littel chookie croons Jonny as he gets ready to take the chicken. Alex walks out, stops dead and says......................................

I've been dieing to choke the chicken ever since follow the van, now where can I go?

Not so fast pretty boy, we'll have the pair of you, come on show us what your made of. Alex and Jonny nod at each other and then...

Suddenly lithesome Kate sneaks into the garden dragging an unconcious Adele behind her. She proceeds to tie her to the trellis by her dreadlocks - stands back - produces the darts - takes aim - and hits..................

Pj's arse, however pj didnt feel the object protuding from his bum because the offer of a quick bunk up with jade was all he needed to seek the comfort of a sex starved alex.

Alex's screams of pleasure alerted dermot who happened to be presenting bblb outside the house...........

Dermot grins and says ....................

'looks like omlettes for breakfast the chickens must be laying some whoppers tonight' ...back in the garden adele has come round to the sight of alex cumming round the hosepipe attachment...as she starts to say w**....kate...........

alex steps out of the shower - it was all a dream! but only the fire and the part i didnt understand, he reaches out to grab a towel but instead he's holding...


(please someone reply!!!!)

...the dismembered head of SPANKY .dropping his towel he runs sceaming into the house to be confronted by the sight of dismembered heads of all the evicted hm....allisons head roles off the table towards him as jonny says yar allrite lad.......

A scream rents the air as jade emerges blubbering nonsense - no change there then.

She's found THE SECRET ROOM and its terrible secret.

Its a cryogenic room and inside are the decapitated, but beautifully preserved heads of... Sunita, Sandy, Sophie, Lynne and Alison.

Spencer's head has disappeared. PJ strolls across and mumbles in Brummy...............

"finully some meat, qual itty"

and he settles down to...

a quiet game of checkers with Tim through the bars. Alex announces that....

Tim just tried to molest him under the table! Adele comes over....

and over again

Meanwhile, Kate has been drinking copious amounts of....

absinthe but it has no effect as alex bores her and the rest of the housemates within an inch of their lives with what his dad says it is made out of.

In a vain attempt not to be bored to death, Kate crawls toward Alex and....

tries to play with his toy van but Tim gets jealous and....