Day 1 - Tim admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Jade. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Kate is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Alex later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. PJ creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. the chicken hits him with a wok.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of millennium dome out of chickpeas. After much persuasion by PJ, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the millennium dome task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Alex, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the chickpeas. the chicken is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the millennium dome task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Alex farts and blows millennium dome over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Jade cries.
6 - PJ gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Jade admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a wok. Tim says he never wears condoms because they make his chest sore and PJ agrees. Kate goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Alex sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up PJ.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Tim goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. the chicken and Jade are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Tim.
9 - the chicken and Jade are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Kate sings them a song - 'It's Only A Game' by BB1's Nichola Holt - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Jade out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Jade leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Jade's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Kate has to make do without the cucumber she requested. the chicken is visibly depressed and is comforted by PJ, who tries to touch her on her earlobe.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of PJ touching the chicken's earlobe over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Alex refuses to run because his chest hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Alex finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. the chicken calls Alex a lazy chest.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Tim tells everyone individually that he thinks the chicken is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. the chicken and PJ are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Tim.
16 - The nominations are announced. the chicken can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. PJ is equally stunned and turns to the chicken for comfort. Alex is distraught and confesses to Kate that he thinks he is in love with PJ. Kate says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote PJ out of the house. the chicken says she is gutted and even gives PJ a clipping of hair from her earlobe to prove how much she cares. Alex is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. PJ leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of the chicken clipping the hair from her earlobe. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Tanzania in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Tanzania sounds like but Alex says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Tim as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Tim successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Tanzania but also God Save The Queen, 'It's Only A Game' by BB1's Nichola Holt and the theme tune to Big Brother. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Tim tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Alex and Kate are nominated.
23 - Alex and Kate take their nominations well and sit down with Tim and the chicken to discuss why they voted for them. Tim keeps quiet but the chicken accuses Alex of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred chest before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Kate out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Kate leaves.
25 - Tim becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Tim's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a ******.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of puma dung using only a wok. Tim is unsure but Alex is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Alex breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the puma incident from his childhood. the chicken tries to persuade him to stay but Tim sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Alex decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the puma dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by the chicken from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Tim asks the chicken to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Tim nominates the chicken to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does the chicken.
30 - When the nomination is announced, the chicken graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Tim is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Tim takes his £70,000 and runs away to Tanzania. Nobody, including the chicken, ever sees him again.
That was made using http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/melting...0/big-brother/
Actually, who can spot the statements that are actually TRUE!
C
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. PJ creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. the chicken hits him with a wok.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of millennium dome out of chickpeas. After much persuasion by PJ, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the millennium dome task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Alex, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the chickpeas. the chicken is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the millennium dome task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Alex farts and blows millennium dome over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Jade cries.
6 - PJ gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Jade admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a wok. Tim says he never wears condoms because they make his chest sore and PJ agrees. Kate goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Alex sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up PJ.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Tim goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. the chicken and Jade are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Tim.
9 - the chicken and Jade are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Kate sings them a song - 'It's Only A Game' by BB1's Nichola Holt - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Jade out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Jade leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Jade's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Kate has to make do without the cucumber she requested. the chicken is visibly depressed and is comforted by PJ, who tries to touch her on her earlobe.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of PJ touching the chicken's earlobe over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Alex refuses to run because his chest hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Alex finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. the chicken calls Alex a lazy chest.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Tim tells everyone individually that he thinks the chicken is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. the chicken and PJ are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Tim.
16 - The nominations are announced. the chicken can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. PJ is equally stunned and turns to the chicken for comfort. Alex is distraught and confesses to Kate that he thinks he is in love with PJ. Kate says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote PJ out of the house. the chicken says she is gutted and even gives PJ a clipping of hair from her earlobe to prove how much she cares. Alex is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. PJ leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of the chicken clipping the hair from her earlobe. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Tanzania in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Tanzania sounds like but Alex says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Tim as the one who must complete the task.
21 - Tim successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Tanzania but also God Save The Queen, 'It's Only A Game' by BB1's Nichola Holt and the theme tune to Big Brother. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and Tim tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Alex and Kate are nominated.
23 - Alex and Kate take their nominations well and sit down with Tim and the chicken to discuss why they voted for them. Tim keeps quiet but the chicken accuses Alex of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred chest before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Kate out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Kate leaves.
25 - Tim becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Tim's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a ******.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of puma dung using only a wok. Tim is unsure but Alex is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Alex breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the puma incident from his childhood. the chicken tries to persuade him to stay but Tim sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Alex decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the puma dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by the chicken from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Tim asks the chicken to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Tim nominates the chicken to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does the chicken.
30 - When the nomination is announced, the chicken graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Tim is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Tim takes his £70,000 and runs away to Tanzania. Nobody, including the chicken, ever sees him again.
That was made using http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/melting...0/big-brother/
Actually, who can spot the statements that are actually TRUE!
C
