Gather round everyone - I have news.

That Bill Turnbull really is a lovely man. He quite understands - he knows the BBC is a powerful organisation and our chances of success are slim. He's just delighted that we were bothered enough to try to keep him in. Anyway, he is going to take Daisy and Daffodil with him tonight and present them to the ITT production team as a present from him to thank them for their support and help. I thought that some people might be a bit disappinted at being given goldfish so he's going to get some Green and Blacks and some flowers as well.

He did express some concerns, by the way. He felt that the reason we might not be succeeding is that we're putting too much trust in animals - he felt that maybe we hadn't psychologically profiled them enough. I mean, who would have expected an otter to have a Die Hard complex? He reckoned the fish would be ok as long as they weren't asked to do anything other than pass on information. Anyway, if you ladies agree, he's going to have a chat with Karen about her joining our Topsecret Intelligence Team. Personally I think she'd look fab in Avengers style Emma Peel type outfit.

Excellent plan, Libby-I knew Bill'd come through for us. I must admit that the otter did come as a it of a shock- who'd've thought it? But it's all in the past now; we've got to look forard to this Saturday.

I think Karen'd be great for the job: she's so sweet and innocent-looking that I doubt anyone would suspect. Good work, Libby!

Ok, we have an issue with the intrepid spyfish. Bill kindly handed them over and the staff were reasonably grateful - bit more enthusiastic about the flowers and choccies, but never mind.

They were put on top of filing cabinet - had a great view of the office, and then some eejit came up and put a box file in front of them. We need to find someone who could go in and remove it. Any ideas?

They don't seem to have heard much of importance yet - the main story, apparently, apart from everyone gushing over Mr Swayze, has been the sacking of a couple of security guards for getting drunk on Saturday night. Maybe we could get some of our cast of heroes to apply for their jobs?

Where is Tiny at the moment - is he still with The Lady Boz?

*barn owl drops a little blue envelope*

"Hello mateys! More news from sunny Rio. Had my second exam today. Brendan dropped me off with his rented bike (I sat in the sidecar). The blighter enrols me for these hellish ordeals and then spends his time picking up hip tips from the locals - typical! Anyway, the exam today went so-so, hard to tell really but at least it's done... just 3 more left and I have another one tomorrow morning But Brendan has compensated by booking a helicopter ride to see the Statue of Christ the Redeemer atop Corcovado Mountain for Thursday morning - it's amost worth all the exam stresses... almost.

Well then I'm going enjoy the balmy early evening here and sip a Mojito whilst perusing some more notes... the Colemeister has paid some locals to set up a big screen on the beach so we can watch ITT tonight I'm a happy bunny. let me know how it's going with you... you guys coping ok with Tiny?

Take care,

happyfeet xxx"

OOh.... That would be very fabulous... and if she's dressed in dark colours then she can do some superhero sneaking and not be seen by anyone

*cue much wall hugging and door immitation*


Guys..... It's time.

We need teeny-tiny Darren Bennet, and we need him now!
Imagine the infiltration that little man could do without raising so much as a whiff of suspicion??
AND... I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of him lurking around the studio on Saturday... so he's got an 'in' already.

Perhaps Brendan could ask him.... or maybe Gloria would be more persuasive...
Ideas anyone??

Well, if we get Lilia on side, she would probably manage to persuade him...

Actually, she could be pretty useful for us as well. I'm sure I read somewhere that she used to do gymnastics. That's always a useful quality for us to have on the team. Plus, she's distractingly adorable. She'd be great to have as a diversion.

*a stork flies overhead and sweeps down to drop a little blue envelope*

"How goes it with the placards, surveillance and plan-making? I sit here with a mud of my vanilla and Early Grey tea as I write. The sunshine in Rio was not enough compensation for the shocker of an exam this morning. Asking random queestions about dermatology treatments and other oddities, instead of basic things left many of the other candidates and myself reeling a little bit, but at least the last written one is over. I thought - phew - finally I can enjoy my Brazilian holiday, but Brenda meets me outside the exam room to tell me he slotted me into two practical exams next week -GAH! So 3 down, 2 more left I guess We are off to go waterskiing later though and I'm off to try to catch up on the massive sleep debt I have (I've had a total of 12 hours in the last 3 days )...

So anyway, I very much enjoyed seeing our compadres on ITT last night - the local lads on the beach were all wolf-whistling at the 'boooifool weemin in the UK'

Write back soon,

*waves from Rio*

happyfeet xxxx"

*waves at happy from Bristol* (not as glamourous as Rio I know) Can you see me from all the way over the Pacific?

Have just caught up with all the otter/mice/tapdancing tactics after the weekend.
I confessed to my OH about the forum at the weekend and explained about the tap dancing plan to him (don't worry, I swore him to secrecy). His response was 'right' in a 'I'm stepping away from you slowly now 'cos you're very scary' voice.
He's probably gonna get the guys in white coats on the blower to come and get me before next week, but for now...I'm free...mwahahaha!

*goes home for food* you can't think on an empty stomach you know.

whats all this - ive read some of the above page - sounds like some sort of conspiracy theory or something - hmmm - lol


amyleah x

Hello amy and bunsengirl *waves from across the atlantic* I thought I'd welcome you since it seems a bit quiet over there.

My spies tell me you guys are joining our virtual picket line to stop them letting anymore couples leave the competition. You'll need the cunning of a fox, a working knowledge of custard tactics and wits of steel, and a love of all things SCD If you read up, then you'll know about our past failures.

We're learning from them though So grab a placard, have a cuppa tea or maybe a few sarnies from the food table and settle in Any suggestions for this week's plan are very warmly welcomed... I wonder if someone's moved the block from in front of our spy fish yet hmmm...

hi there everyone..i have just read all of this thread (which took up about 2hours of my life....i had to read some things at least twice, out of sheer disbelief.).

i have specially trained rabbits, cats, dogs gerbils and guinea pigs at your disposal- so to speak. They have all been trained at special spy school and have experience in many things, from helping hares and foxes escape from hunting type scenarios, to helping old ladies across the road and chasing dodgy looking blokes who try to follow you in the park. The dogs (all german shepherds) are trained protection dogs which may come in handy should the bbc ever try to recpapture the celeb or indeed try to take any of us hostage. ( i wouldn't put anything past that lot.....i mean what else do they do with the licence fee?) i did have specially trained sureveillance and intelligence fish ...but they never returned from their last sortie......(their sacrifice will never be forgotten). the cats, gerbils and guinea pigs work well as a team and can cover most aspects of a job, including entry and exit, deep undercover work..(the gerbils can disguise themselves as make up brushes if need be). The bunnies are excellent at creating diversions and calming the nerves of any hysterical ppl that may crop up, after all, who wouldn't like to cuddle a bunny when all hell is breaking loose?? they all love the show and would be honoured to help in such a heroic cause...as indeed would i..... xxxxxxxxxxx

ooohhh..... you're gonna fit RIGHT in!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your help, ideas and highly trained combat-animals are badly needed. We've been doing pretty shittily so far... (although the tap-dancing-otter-related-drunken-security-guard-stunt-mice-plus-Gloria-H plan was nothing short of genius)

Right, it's back to the picket line for me.

*ALL STAY IN.* *NONE GO OUT*


Becks

Miranya, you are just what we need - we have all been so exhausted by our efforts that it would be so good to have fresh input on our strategies for Saturday. It always warms my heart to think of people and animals who are willing to give up everything to a cause.

We have less than 72 hours to think of a plan - and we are depleted this week. I actually wonder if Brendan is a double agent as he's removed one of our key people to the other side of the world.

Am also concerned that we don't have a handle on the whereabouts of Tiny. Is he still at your's Lady Boz, or has he pitched up with Allybee?

Karen has sorted the Spy Fish out - she's a new and enthusiastic member of our team. They have come up with the idea that we actually lock everyone in the studio somehow on Saturday night - but that will be difficult to achieve. Any ideas?

I swear, the BBC are out to get us- I'll be in transit this week when the show's on, heading back up north. There muct be an infiltrator from the other side...

Miranya, you're a brave, brave person, to invest such a sizeable portion of your life wading throug all of this. Your dedication will make you great for the team.

Unless he's hiding, Tiny's not with me. I don't think he's here- my room's pretty small- but then again, he does blend in to the background pretty well (or have I just got used to ignoring him?)

And as for locking everyone in...hmm...we'll need blueprints of all the entrances and exits, and perhaps some sort of really sticky substance...any ideas?

Oh no, you're not going to be there either. The BBC has very powerful friends. I'm going to a party on Saturday night which is at the house of a friend of mine who works for the Scottish Executive - the fact that I have got this invitation obviously means that they've got Government involved in taking us out.

It dawns on me that honey is very sticky, no-one would suspect it and Bill keeps bees

Well that's an interesting thought...

It's so crazy, it just might work!

ooooh..... can I go convince Bill to help us? (he did after all blow me a kiss!)

Excellent, Peach- you go talk to Bill (maybe catch him after Breakfast tomorrow?), and see if there's any way to make the honey extra-sticky. We don't want anyone else getting out.

You can be our Official Liaison With Turnbull - although we'd better give him a codename in case the BBC are reading this, which they probably are. Lets's call him Pooh (as in Winnie The) 'cos of the hunny.

*puts thinking cap on*

Well, it strikes me that we need to play to our strengths.
Our chief weapon in the fight against the beeb is obviously our custard tactics and not forgetting the custard itself.

I too have now seen the episode of QI that happy mentions above and it gave me an idea - exploding custard! Why didn't we think of it before? With all the custard brewing experience round here we should be able to use the custard to make grenades and that splurge stuff they have in Bugsy Malone - we could knock any security guards that try to get us down with that!
It could also be potentially modified with honey to make it extra sticky and we could fire it at people to make them stick to the wall a la Spiderman. Could get messy though - whoever was splurged would need wiping down afterwards

Oh, shouldn't have said that. Now I have images of dancers covered in custard

Would that be any specific dancer you're imagining?

That's a pretty good idea, actually- it should be our back-up plan. Seal in as many people as pssible, and if some manage to slip through the net and get out, we'l unleash the custard...

Shall we start brewing?

thanks for your words of welcome and support.. the commando group here can secure the perimeter of the studios (there's enough of them) just in case the honey doesn't quite cut it..so to speak...or mayhap pooh's huuny will be sooooooooo lovely that everyone will eat it and it's efficacy will be lost...***thinks...hang on.....if we weigh everyone down with lovely hunny buns and things, after they have danced, ppl will be so stuffed they will be unable to move..hence we can withdraw them to a place of safety ..the ambulance... ***
if somebody can hand me over an item of tiny's clothing, perhaps a sparkly waistcoat recently worn by the twinkly one, then i can ask one of the dogs to track him..... i think the guinea pigs may be of use in the aborted mice plan, as they have equally gnawing teeth and will not upset tiny....just a few thoughts there...hope to be of use to you all...xx may the force be with us....xx

er..hello folks...it's almost time for the show and we haven't had any orders about our plans.....if someone can let me know if we are still needed....maybe we will just hang out outside anyway...in case of any er...unanticipated developments....just to let you all know..it's a long way down to london from up here...

This morning's honey was a little runny so Pooh wandered off but I have managed to follow him and am keeping a clsoe watch.

No one should leave!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight more than ever. I'm gonna cry! I can tell.