Ok guys in order to save the charm offensive thread for charming pants off etc

Am starting the fantasy dinner party thread here, to continue from what started on the C Offensive thread.

But lets Jazz it up a bit, you can invite 5 people,

1 to cook (cept James thats cheating)
1. to entertain
1. to Dance
1. for personal tete a tete
1. Just an extra cos Im nice.

Mine are:

1.Anton cook can just see him in a wee pinny and chef's hat (thats all he'd need really who cares about the food)

2 Colin, he could do star jumps and everything

3. Brendan, he can wiggle for me anytime

4. Ian (who else) he's mine all mine!!!

5. Bruno to make me laugh all night.

To cook: Bill Turnbull, 'cos he's sweet, and 'cos he'd bring some honey from his bee hives

To entertain: Brucie, who else? I love his tap dancing, and he can sing the standards well, but he'd have to shave off his moustache.

To dance: If not Anton then it has to be Ian, another sweetie of the SCD parish.

Tete a tete: I'm sure Anton could do all of the above, but I'm keeping him close to me in this little scenario

Extra: Has to be Bruno - he's so incredibly funny

1. to cook

Arlene Phillips. She looks like she's fairly good at sucking lemons, so I think she'd be quite handy in the kitchen (sorry, she is my least favourite person on SCD, but I know that was mean!)

1. to entertain

Brucey! He's a legend!

1. to Dance

Hmmm...depends if I get to participate or just have to watch. If it was with someone then it would have to be Brendan I think, and if it was to watch then Darren B and Lillia because they're both so lovely.

1. for personal tete a tete

.................Anton Du Beke......................I'd like him in a proper DJ to start out with, and then, after dinner....I'd see

1. Just an extra cos Im nice.

Craig Revel Horwood. He looks like he'd have an opinion on everything, and I'd quite like to get into a debate with him, It'd be fun and probably quite fiery!

The ultimate fantasy dinner party for me would be a cosy twosome, just me and the lovely James Martin Don't need anyone else...... in fact forget dinner

To Cook: James - it has to be He's a pro. And a Yorkshire lad. (He can carry Camilla in his pocket for company)
To Entertain: Anton
To Dance: Bruno & Craig (after ITT last night)
For a Tete a Tete: Brendan
An Extra: Claudia

I know I have six people but I'll just sit use standard custard tactic procedure and perch pertly on Brendan's lap so we won't need another chair

We'll eat and drink and make merry and then after Bruno and Craig's performance, we shall all mark them out of ten. Bruno will get giggly and try to crack onto James in the kitchen, so Camilla will pop out and throw flour at Bruno's trousers and it will escalate into a full-blown food fight.

Meanwhile Anton will dance with Claudia, and I with Brendan to old-skool 70s disco choons, ( I have a mirror ball that needs some use) and then we'll have some jazz and swing and finally go out to the terrace and drink caipiranhas and Cuban salsa to Buena Vista Social Club. By 4am, peeps will be too drunk/tired to leave so we'll all just sleep in various cubby holes/ nooks and crannies around the house