A message to everyone this weekend.

Every Saturday, we experience a phenomenon now known as the 'Weekend Backlash'. Obviously Saturday night is the culmination of a week of anticipation. Inevitably a couple goes, and at this stage, that means a lot of people will be unhappy.

The other couple in the bottom two will have worried fans.
Any couples which are perceived to be undermarked will also have disgruntled fans.

What happens on the forums is that (while lots of us are happy and giddy and have so much to discuss), some people are really upset and perhaps in the heat of the emotion post negative things about other people in the programme. And while defending their point of view , may make others feel unwelcome or be a tad aggressive.

Many many new threads are started without checking whether threads on the same topic have already been started. To do this - click on 'Forum Tools' on the front page of our SCD board and choose to 'Search within this Forum' and see what comes up. In this way we can respect the opinions and points raised by people in the past and bring them into a current discussion. It also stops the board being clogged up

So can we just respect and be kind to each other and try to 'big-up' our own couples rather than 'do-down' others. It's not the participants fault about their marks - direct your annoyance to the judges if you must We have wonderful entertainment, done for charity with the audience having a say over what happens; it entertains and it helps Children in Need - what more could we want... really?

I'm crossing my fingers for some calm and measured opinion, lively debate and general happiness that it's Dance Night on the BBC tonight!

(Whether you agree or not, please post a message and keep this thread visible on the front page so people can read it through the day. I know I may come across as a sanctimonious wannabee Moderator, but I did ask DS to post a sticky message for me and they haven't gotten back to me yet )

Stands, claps and flings a random bowl of spicy custard in your general direction

Bless you grand priestess of the forum. A great post especially after we all got so down last week.

Nothing wrong with a good debate...just not the personal stuff.

And if all else fails...run for your lives to the sanctuary to nestle into your respective corners!

Excellent post happyfeet.

Reading some posts today though..I think we may have to retreat to the sanctuary now!

Oh well...I'm still on cloud nine..so bugger it!

Keep this up top, some may read it and think a little bit before posting. If it means a few more niceties then it was worth it. Isn't it ironic that I started a new thread after asking peeps not to clog up the board!

Don't worry about me, I wouldn't dream of posting anything on this forum at the moment.

The whole place seems to have disintegrated into a gigantic 'love-in' by a clique intent on telling everyone else how to behave.

I'll keep my comments on the programme and the dancing to other boards where there's a good level of discussion about the show.

lol yea quite ironic happyfeet but this isn't clogging up the board, this is important and it's a great post at the top, good job, let's keep it nice and friendly!

I totally agree Happy... It's the new thread thing that really annoys me... and it;s not like they're ever nice anyway.

If you want to bitch about your least favourite or similar... please go to one of the many threads about siad person.. you will find that many posters agree with you. and isn't it always better to have lively debate than just post an opinion on your own?

Becks

I don't think there is a clique? Or people are telling people how to behave?

I think people are just saying be nice and not personal to each other (as ironically your post is) and loads of new people have joined and everyone has been welcomed and talked to and as far as I can see no one has been ignored or left out.

I prefer a board where people aren't attacking one another and being mean about people personally and prefer one where people are just having a good old debate about the show but not being nasty.

If that seems odd to some, so be it. If the board turns nasty and personal then I won't post and there you go...you can come back then!

Edit..this is in answer to spotsters post btw. And having clicked on your posts to see if indeed you had been left out, and fair enough then if you were upset in which case I was going to apologise... I see you posted up until thursday and were joining in all the threads and having a laugh and everyone was talking to you...so I am a bit confused to be honest.

Meh - any weekend backlash from me will be directed at the judges (as it has been in previous weeks).

Well said, happyfeet. I think it's safe to assume that we'll never be totally clear of the backlash (I've already seen the start of it, and I've only been online for five minutes), but if we all make our position clear, then it ight cause at least some people to think before they respond.

And if it gets just too bad out there, we can all retreat to the non-bashing thread for one of Boho's Tres Bons and some marshmallows.

CaptainSensible has exactly the right idea.

Spotster, I'm sorry you feel that way. Do come here and post - I'm the first person up for a discussion, it doesn't have to all be pink sparkles and men ogling and fashion and custard, but we can have it all on the same board.

I'm sorry if you felt I was coming across as controlling, and yes, maybe the board has swung over the other way during the week, in response to some of the bad feeling last weekend. But I really do feel that respecting each other doesn't mean that that the place for differing opinions dies a death. I'm mature enough to totally disagree with you but still enjoy your considered opinion

Come back to us and start a thread you feel comfortable with. Noone should feel alienated.

Happyfeet,

I know you haven't had a go at anyone in particular, so please don't take this as my attempt to have one at you; more a case of bumping the thread whilst explaining my own motivation for some posts.

I do try to keep my annoyance, from the weekend, confined to the judges; though I will admit to lapsing into complaining about what I perceive to be wrongly directed/biased coverage by the Beeb.

Although, like all of us I have my favourite couple, I do admire the fact that, in the main, the contestants, both pro & celeb, have achieved so much & can manage to put on such an entertaining display.

Perhaps, I just need to be more specific. I do try to emphasise that it is the potential for a backlash against a particular couple; in the light of judges' results/press coverage, that gets my back up but I also know that I can end up coming across as "Mr Angry". Like a lot of us on here, emotions can run high, when we get a perception that the goalposts are being moved to the advantage/disadvantage of any one couple; I prefer form my own opinions of how they are performing, based on what I've actually seen each of them do each week, rather than being told, or directed, by the judges or the press.

As I said at the beginning, please don't think I'm trying to start an argument, as this is the furthest thing from my mind. These forums are somewhere we can all come & quite happily discuss our, sometimes, widely differing views on SCD/ITT &, normally, come up with a clearer view of things, after feed back from others & that's the way I'd like it to stay.

Glen

Exactly Glen. I think you make a good point. If any bad feeling comes, it is really often down to perhaps the judging, or the way things are portrayed by the editors and production staff. It is fair enough to express your feelings about this, of course it is! It's not nasty, it's your opinion. That is exactly what I meant about intelligent debate. I don't think I've ever thought you contributed anything but

Like me, you respect the couples for trying so hard and we get emotional about things but can keep it in check for the large part. Thanks for clearly showing what I mean and keeping this thread up for people to consider

Glen...you post exactly right..I love reading your posts! You don't moan at FM's etc, and I think that is one thing that has upset people here lately. As well as names that are used to describe contestants.

It's great that people say for example, 'So and so didn't dance well tonight and shouldn't be there because...'...not so great when they say 'so and so is crap, I hate them and they should be sent flying into a giant vat of poo along with anyone else who likes them and posts about them '....well a bit extreme, but you get what I mean!

That's the only thing I get sad about on here...not the reasoned debates and objectiveness and friendly banter.

And hey...we all like to have a good moan at the judges!

I am not trying to be disagreeable (that come au naturel), but I find it's usually best to try and ignore the ranters that pop up on the forum. If they are really pesty, a bit of light sarcasm can be sprinkled from a great height, sparingly. The ones that are really pernicious get themselves banned in the end

I do on the whole and find that it always settles after a few days, but thought, why not just ask nicely.

I like the sarcasm approach but not very good at it. Good to see you lonepiner - it seems like ages since you've been here?!

Just my own paranoia coming through with that last post. Comes from spending most of my time sat in the middle of a field late at night with nobody to talk to except sheep & squirrels.

OOPS! Got to go, Nutkin is calling - LOL!

Glen

I'll be honest, I had gone off this series of SCD a bit, but am drifting back like a storm-tossed bit of jetsam, or perhaps flotsam, to the shore that is this happy forum.

Nice idea. After last Saturday, I felt awful reading over these forums and seeing such negative comments. It would have been nice if they were directed at the judges, but an awful lot weren't and these were not just from people who pop up occasionally but fairly regular posters too. It was a very unwelcoming feeling to be here.

Perhaps as a fan of Zoe and Ian I picked up on a lot more negative comments then others did, that certainly could be the case, but it'd be nice to be able to come here tonight and not feel bad for liking them. I'm sure that was never anyone's intention, but that's unfortunately how it ended up being.

If it happens again Kiera...pop into the 'non bashers' thread and we will direct you towards the 'ian investigates' corner with some marshmellows and a cocktail.

Lonepiner...lovely to see you back. You have been missed.

I'm just worried that George Galloway might spot this thread and start a Respect Each Other party

Thanks, Bohochick. I might have to do that

Okay, on reflection, the chances of that are about as slim as Gorgeous George sending a Christmas card to Jeremy Paxman, or of being in next year's series of SCD!