Aw, pipie, I did exactly the same thing when Will went out last week, and I felt very bad afterwards too! It's good that you apologised, and we'll say no more about it! Everyone was very nice to me last week after my silliness, and i'm sure you'll find that if you've upset anyone, when they see that you're sorry about it they won't mind. We all get a bit over-wrought sometimes

Yep, it is

I thought it was but I decided to play it safe. Didn't want to offend you if you weren't!

thank you xadie, i feel much better now and ImaPlum, a sheep eh? well it could be several sheep in one big giant elephants costume, of course they would have to stan on each others shoulders **ponders the possibilities**

It could be a sneaky sheep like this:

http://www.monty-pythons.com/album/E...ller-sheep.jpg

In a robot elephant like this:

http://www.mikal.org/photo_journal/t...t_elephant.JPG

one of them would have to have the onerous task of operating the trunk ... giving it a little wiggle now and then

Temporarily returning to the point, well not necessarily THE point but certainly A point, I am glad I have overcome my sheer cowardice and braved the forums, I havent been lynched....

YET

It is good to exchange views with fellow fans and to learn to pick and choose when/when not to comment.

You've all made me feel welcome and I thank you for this.

its good u feel at home and please enjoy the tomfoolery! and i like the robot elephant idea xadie that way it might just be one masterminded sheep controling the whole thing from a little seat at the top

Happyfeet has as always, said it all so much more eloquently than me.

And I am usually tipsy now anyway.

As I have said a few times in places, no one minds people saying' so and so didn't dance well tonight so they should go..discuss' kind of posts.

It's the 'I hate so and so and all you people who support them are crap and should be run out of town with a big red dot on your clothes so people know who you are' kind of posts, that I hate.

Well, slight exaggeration..but you know what I mean.

We had a poster say there was a clique today and that got to me a bit. But alot of people who have just joined here disagreed and said they were happy here and made to feel welcome...and most cliques I know of on other forums beside DS, ignore 'newer' people (I hate that word but for want of another) and stick to themselves...and I find most people here go out of their way to welcome everyone.

I guess that if you come on here wanting a row or a fight or to be personal...I think you may be coming to the wrong forum!

So welcome all of you peeps I have not yet had the pleasure of speaking to, and happy posting.

Yes I did say that, why don't you just name me???? Why did you have to run off to your fluffy thread and talk about me there and check up on my posts??? (Incidentally, I wouldn't dream of posting anthing in that thread of an even vaguely negative nature as I am quite well behaved). It was purely my opinion that there is a clique, a certain bunch of people (call it what you will) who are trying to dictate how people should post. In my opinion it is up to the people who run Digital Spy and their moderators who decide what is and is not acceptable within their published rules - rules which people agree to follow when they join the forums.

I gave my opinion, that's all. It's my opinion and I still hold that opinion. Why keep going on about me??

I don't think anyone was attacking you directly Spotster, we were just a bit upset that you felt that the forum was cliquey (can't spell that word). I don't think anyone on here would like to think that anyone felt excluded. I can't speak for anyone else but if I have made anyone feel like that I apologise.

As far as I can see people are just trying to encourage others to express their opinions without resorting to rudeness or bashing (which definitely happened last week).

Surely you don't want to see that either?

As a new poster to this forum, my take on the "clique" point, is that I dont find it cliquey at all. There is a noticeable group of friends who are obviously very comfortable chatting on these boards with each other, however, what makes them not cliquey is the fact that they dont exclude new bods. As an example, there is obviously an in-joke about elephants - I have not a clue what thats all about it, yet I made a possibly cheeky reference to it , in a clique I would have had my wrists slapped and been told to butt out. Instead I was included into the conversation.

Another example again on the subject of in-jokes was a thread i saw earlier querying what the joke was all about .... some kind poster then sat back and laboriously explained it - not the actions of a cliquey or unwelcoming group.

I think the suggestion that everyone keeps it nice and friendly and constructive is a good one. So what if it doesnt come from a moderator, its just a nice reminder to all.

But thats just my take on things as I have seen them, and I do confess not to have done extensive research or any research whatsoever

Well said that man....er woman....er.....

Aw, you're so lovely, Ima. Thanks for making that post. I'm glad you feel welcome here, I certainly did as soon as I arrived!

I answered your post directly earlier and you didn't reply.

I even said that I actually checked back on your posts to see if we had left you out of anything and if I felt I had I would apologise..but you seemed fine in your past posts up to two days ago, so I was confused...I said it all here. I have not said anything behind anyones back. .

I posted all this on this thread before I went to seek advice elsewhere..if you check the times things were posted. I was worrying as I do.

I said all this here on this thread...before anything else. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything anywhere else...but it was after I answered you and it was free for all to see. Not behind your back in PM's or anything. I don't do behind your back either.

I have not attacked you...if you feel I have I apologise..I never try and fight anyone..I hate confrontation and fights..and did nothing behind anyones backs. I posted directly to you after you spoke. I was upset at what you posted and now feel I have been made to feel
wrong. Which is ironic going by tonight where I have been made to feel the same in the 3D world. Not something I will go into it. Just irony tonight.

I hate all this....I feel absolutely crap now.

I just was upset you said you would no longer post as we were cliquey and tried to explain why I felt we were not and then ...

Oh I am going round in circles.

Off to bed.

Bye everyone.

Please tell me where I have suggested anything of the sort? I have hung around these forums for some time, no, I'm not the most active poster, I prefer to comment when I feel I have something to add.

There are ways and means of dealing with posters who are rude and don't meet the guidelines of the forum - it's called the Alert button.

As for in-jokes and surreal fantasies, I have no problems with that at all, even though I have been accused of not having a sense of humour

I have my opinion on the original post in this thread and, frankly, I feel my opinion has been justified by the responses - not necessarily on this thread but in the barbed comments made other threads.

oh poor boho please don't feel bad about yourself. i have only been registered here a few days and daily read the scd forums. I don't always post but i can see that everyone here is so welcoming and there is a relaxed feel about the whole thing. i have read other posts (not all about scd, admittedly) and they can be so negative, about everything that is said about stuff that doesn't conform to the group consensus and it makes the rest of us that are reading feel very intimidated. Don't forget that for everyone that posts there could be any number of others who are reading, just waiting to see if the forum is the kind of place where they could make a contribution. I can only speak for myself, obviously, but i can say that this forum seems to be one of the friendliest i have come across in a long time, and i am looking forward to being able to say my piece whenever i feel the need to,without fear of intimidation or of being 'frozen out' by any clique. Boho be proud of who you are and what you do...and that goes for anyone else who's aims here include friendly chat, exchange of information and continuing what appears to have become a vibrant community all of it's own. Sorry for going on for so long.

I have been up all night tossing and turning about this all. I had to come on here now. I had such a lovely day yesterday on here and then everything went a bit poo from 6.30 onwards on and off the boards.

Spotster, I would like to apologise if my posts have upset you. I was orignally quite upset by your first post which called us cliquey and responded, whereas I should just have left it alone and not said anything.

It is not really like me to then go off and chat about it...but I was trying to work out if indeed we were cliquey as you said you were not going to post on here for that reason, and I was confused and I will admit, rather hurt by your first post (I hope that it's okay to admit that) as you had seemed that you were enjoying yourself on all the various threads up to very recently. That is the only reason I checked on your posts, to see if indeed you had been miserable here and not posting because of the 'clique'.

However, I should have just kept my big trap shut and not said anything.

So I am truely sorry you feel like we are a clique and can no longer post, and truely sorry that I talked to others about it, on another thread, that was awful of me, and truely sorry that I have obviously offended you.

I am off back to bed now to try and get some sleep and will be off for a few days as my OH has a few days holiday so we are doing holiday things, plus I think I need a few days break from forums....but I hope you see this post and realise that I am being sincere.

And copying what Shadow said so sweetly and more eloquently in her post, if anyone else has been made to feel an outsider, especially by me, then I can only apologise too as that was never my intention here.

And miranya thankyou for your sweet words. And thankyou for your lovely post ima. I was rude and missed it last night...as I did your apology pipie. I didn't see your posts and am a Patsy fan...but it was sweet of you to say that.

I think I should take a leaf out of all your books on how to post.

Anyway..enough of my waffle.

Speak soon y'all.

love
Boho
x
Last edited by Bohochick : 27-11-2005 at 06:56

As a fellow persona non gratis, and despite having promised myself I wouldn't post on this board again, may I say that I totally share your accurate appraisal of the tactics used here to discourage any free thoughts or opinions which oppose those of the self-appointed ruling elite .
The Clique-in-denial did name me, Spotster .. both in the orginal thread in which I committed my 'crime' - (I criticised Saints Bill and Karen and referred to no-one in particular, or by name, as rabid fangirls) - and then (absolutely infuriatingly) on the 'fluffy' thread where they all congratulated one another on their magnaminity and wonderfulness.
My sympathies to you .. and a word of advice .. give it up and just enjoy the posturings and self-righteousness of the perpetrators and the sycophantic gushings of their allies - it's much more fun!

I'm really sorry Aida, I noticed you weren't around. Maybe we have got a bit carried away in the random jokes and fluffy threads; I'm really really sorry, I never meant for it to be come all self-congratulating and I do realise that I'm one of the worst perpetrators for self-perpetuating it all -starting this thread as a case in point. Maybe it's a good thing I did and that you guys felt able to say how you feel and I understand to try and rein myself in a bit. I'm truly sorry again. Please come back and post.

Just a quick post before I go again...as I have been lurking and feeling quite sick to the stomach at the thought of people being this aggrieved at things I may have said or done on here.

Having read aida's comments and feeling dreadful about that too...I am sorry aida if you also feel we are all cliquey and too 'fluffy'...maybe you are right. I don't know anymore. I was just having fun, and obviously didn't think about people who weren't enjoying the fun.

Apologies for that.

But what I do know is that alot of people do seem to be offended by the non bashers thread...and to draw a line under that, I am going to ask the mods to close it down.

I hope that is okay with everyone who posts on it. I don't like to think of people thinking that is the cause of alot of trouble...I always said anyone could write on it...but for the offence it seems to have caused I think that is the best thing to do.

I will also follow happyfeets example, and will rein in the silliness and fun elements as maybe I have also have gone too far. I will think before I post in future.

x

Way to go, Aida!

Only caveat I would add is that I don't think people are deliberately using tactics to discourage free thought and opinions although that is the end result. I think the fluffy folk are genuinely nice people (and I sometimes love all the fluff) but there is a tendency for everyone to rush in and try to make everything all nice and fluffy. This is what has made it so hard to post anything that might offend or hurt anyone because an atmosphere has been created where anything a little edgy or offbeam has to either be banished or made nice by the addition of fairy dust and custard. This in itself is sometimes infuriating (though I suspect I will now be banished for having said so).

You won't, Crystal Tips. Not by me. I can see all your points. Everything doesn't have to be all sweetness and light, we're grown-ups we can take the disagreements, there's no need to hush everything up and sweep it up under a pink carpet. I won't do that anymore ok?

Just read boho and happy's replies to Aida and I want to say please do not feel that you have to be less fluffy or less anything. Part of the charm of this forum is that people like you are who you are and it is lovely. This is not a contest and there does not have to be a choice.

I don't think that anyone minds the fluffiness or the silliness. It is just when it gets prescriptive so that anyone who is not feeling fluffy feels that they are being told off or are being nasty.

I don't want to rain on anyone else's parade. I like you all just the way you are. Just don't like being told what to think or how to behave.

I don't want to offend anybody (but no doubt I will ), but this isn't the first board on DS where new members seem to misunderstand that DS is a discussion forum. That means that posters are free to make negative comments about the topic under discussion.

The best way to deal with attacks on posters seems to be to alert the mods, who will decide whether it breaches the T&Cs and take the appropriate action. That's their job and they do it very well.