Hi All

I'm new to the forum have been sitting outside in the cold for a while now watching through the window and have finally taken the leap and joined in .... So i thought it may as well be feet first!

The Brendan theory is as follows:

Brednan is NOT the most attractive male to ever grace the face of the earth, I admit he's not bad but he's not perfect either. Yes his chest & hips are fairly amazing but that's not why we can't get enough of him.

The reason he's so popular can be explained by the fact that we all want to feel a little out of control and be dominated by a strong male figure.

Acid Test - List your 3 favourite male movie characters ever, mine are as follows:

Johnny ~Dirty Dancing
Cole Trickle~Day's of Thunder
Maverick~Top Gun

The thing they and Brendan have in common is the fact that they're all relativley good looking, amazingly sexy, but most importantly are in a position of control, they all have short tempers and secretly have a kinda emotinal/needy/lost puppy dog side to them that we want to nurture.

Basically I guess what i'm tryin to say is that I'd quite Brendan to tell me exactley what he'd like me to do an if he could do it minus the shirt that would be even better

I'm sure if you compare your favourite stars you'll see thay all share a certain trait that you adore them for.

Comments???

I have to say. I like Brendan more for personality than looks, he looked the same last year, but I hated him then. This year I can completely understand his frustrations. He is an emotional person. As well as being hard working, honest, dedicated, passionate,temperamental but also having a soft caring side.

I think of myself of having a lot of these traits and can appreciate where he is coming from. But these traits have also become more apparent in myself in the last year (esp my temperamental side), even though I am 25.

And have to add I never saw him dance at his best (showing what his body is capable of ) until this year too, during the professional dances
Last edited by Eclipse80 : 29-11-2005 at 14:39

Well, if we're going to analyse our reasons for being attracted to certain types of men, using Brendan as an example, then the stereotypes you described I think are supposed to relate to some instinctive social imprinting that we haven't evolved away from yet.

There are many women who don't find Brendan Cole attractive, and there are plenty that in fact find him unpleasant. There are imagine a fair number who would admit to finding him attractive 'in spite of themselves'.

This 'alpha male' type you described:
- domineering which may appeal because the control and thus responsibility is removed, and in a world where women take the flak a lot, there might be a glimmer of that.
- needy/hidden vulnerability must appeal to a nurturing instinct.

And this is all mixed up with feeling like 'if they met me the bad parts of their personality would change' etc etc. And the implied power, strength, superiority, arrogance thing. People looking for strong traits to further the proliferation of their genes. It is interesting to me that in modern Western Society as it, for a woman we can simultaeously want these very old-fashioned values in an instinctive way, and know in our heads that these sorts of traits in a man are a big flashing red light saying MISTAKE MISTAKE.

I'll freely admit I find the Brendan Cole image very attractive (and I say image because the majority of us have no idea whether he is anything like the media portrayal), but in an abstract way, as in a 'real-life' relationship I'd want strength and nurturing to come from both sides.

And for our guys on the Forum, is there a corresponding 'type' of female?

I have finally come to admit that yes, I do fancy Brendan a tiny bit, even though physically he isn't my ideal. I think you're right about some women enjoying the controlling and passionate aspects of his personality. My favourites in films, television and books are almost always the bad guys, or those that are distinctly grey around the edges, so maybe I like the bad boy thing that Brendan's got going on. Or maybe it's just that I like the way he moves...

I cannot comment on his looks, (being male, not quite my cup of tea and all). but I do understand his drive and passion to do well, look at series one. A like minded commited dancer through to a reasonable dancer series two through to this year when to be honest he would have been better off witha stick of celery. sorry I hope Len has better luck. He (brendon) just wants to win.

I think that you're right about the kind of aspects that often appeal to women in the case of men like Brendan. I personally don't find him at all attractive, becuase the characteristics that you describe are ones I can't stand in a man. Perhaps this is becuase I am somewhat domineering (in my closest relationships I seem to be very much the leader), but I tend to go for almost the exact opposite type of man.

(Have just thought of an exception to that rule- but he's a fictional character, so that doesn't count. Excuse me whilst I totally contradict myself... )

I can sort of see the appeal, I suppose, but as happy says, only in an abstract way. I would never want to date someone who is like Brendan appears to be.

*happy wonders aloud about domineering fictional characters*
*then starts going through all the leading Austen men*

*then amends last thought about 'going through' the men, as clearly she's not that kind of girl, and they're not that kind of guy*

I was just about to say exactly the same thing. I don't dislike Brendan but if I was paired with him for dancing and he spoke to me like he spoke to Fiona at times he would have got a right mouthful back. I don't find those aspects of his personality attractive at all.

I much prefer Anton's tactics of charm and humour. He doesn't have any less desire to win but seems to want to ensure that his partner is happy and gets a lot out of it to. Sometimes I get quite a selfish vibe off of Brendan.

I also much prefer ballroom to latin so obviously the sway of Mr Du Beke appeals to me more than the shimmy of Mr Cole.

I agree eclipse!

Btw i thought the title of this thread was ispirational!! hehe! the brendan theory! its for me not just his looks, which to coin a phrase from my mum, (wouldnt kick him outta bed for wearing his socks), but his awesome dancing ability, the cheeky accent, and fantastic smile!! and of couse the firey temper!! what girl could resist!

my top males,
johhny from d dancing i agree with
but christian from moulin rouge (ewan mcgregor)
and david bowie from labyrinth!

hehe

t care
jackie xxx

I don't know about the correspnding female type; unless you count one, who I won't mention as she soesn't subscribe to the forums & wouldn't be able to respond.

From a personal point of view, I can't see the attraction of the dominant, controlling, personality type in a relationship.

I've always held that relationships are about compromise, in that nobody should expect to be able to dictate how things should be, or the other party should always have to submit to another's will.

Such a situation implies a lack of respect &, if you don't respect each other, how can the relationship work, with both parties feeling valued?

As I've said previously, I can't see how arrogance can be taken as a desirable personality trait. Confidence yes, but not arrogance; which implies self belief to the point of riding rough shod over others.

Glen

(Bunkering down with his skid lid & body armour on in case the Flak starts to fly - LOL

Hell yeah!!! The dominating bad boy thing is very sexy!!!!

From a distance. Not sure if I'd feel the same way about Brendan if I was stuck in a training room with him.

Have not seen any of these films except for DD a long long time ago. But I was thinking Russell Crowe. Gladiator's my fave film too.

Glen I will take cover with you, as I agree with your comments, however as males are we not slightly arrogant as beating chests is what according to laws of nature is what we are ment to do. not that I am saying that beating chest etc is aceptable behaviour but I am sure psycologists will put us all straight.

Glen and Stinkies Dad (typing that name makes me chuckle) - I was opening it up for discussion. I agree wholeheartedley with your sentiment, Glen. As I said, a good relationship, in my opinion, is one where each person nurtures the other and supports the other when they need it, and the way that's suited to them.

The attraction of arrogance thing, going back to behavioural stuff, is I think simply based on 'the animal can beat his chest and make himself look big and scary' thing, which was all females of the species (in so far as their XX chromosome dictates) looked for a desirable mate - so it comes from that self-assured thing. There is a continuum of assertiveness, confidence, arrogance and obnoxiousness, which might explain it a bit.

As to the 'female equivalent', I was just wondering whether you agreed there was a corresponding 'set of outdated behavioural traits' that (some men) find attractive (aside from waist to hip ratio - which has been a proven attractant)...?

I've been married 30 years next week to the same man. Yes I know I'm middle aged, but I've still got me own teeth and my husbands still got all his own hair.

Brendan wouldn't have merited a second look back in the 60's because there was far more style and competiton back then and over large ego's weren't tolerated.

Sorry to upset the Brendan fans.

Happyfeet (that to makes me smile), toughy if we were to look at a female equivalent, The chicken answer would be it varies from person to person, however and I mean no disrespect and I mean it, for say Erin who comes across as demanding and slightly arrogant, ( I do not know her as a person). she would probably have to be as she partners Anton and is the best ballroom bar none. However the less harsh but still very driven Karen has a softer side so is more appealing, however Hanna comes across as the doe eyed petitte lady who needs the protection that her dance partner Zorro offers, they make a good partnership.
So where as you find Brendon strangly attractive I would have to say that Hanna takes my vote.
Please these are only my comments I know I have to change my name to stop the barrage , I do not know any of the dancers I have never met them I do not mean to cause any offence if any of them are reading this.

I guess there are bound to be some men who still look for the quiet, submissive type of woman; some even like the idea of the "bimbo" type.

I agree about the dominant. chest beating type of man seeming to be attractive but, having seen the female equivalent in action (not chest beating but very dominant & belittling if things don't go her way), in the long run feel that it's a dead end street for happiness in a relationship.

Glen

What the? When I started typing my last post everything was as it had always been & now has gone all pink.

Looks like the requested change in the backgroud must have gone through.

I do hope you Y chromosomers don't feel too marginalised by our new decor on the forum? But I know from your posts that you're all secure enough in your own masculinity

So long as cocktail dresses & slingbacks don't become mandatory; haven't really got the legs to carry that look off - LOL

Heehee - neither have I! This pink does have a calming effect I must say.

GlenP I'm sure you would look marvelous in a cocktail dress - so haven't you got any legs?

I think it depends if you are dominering too! if you ae, which i think camilla is, to be a pro dancer, then its a perfect couple!

Yep, I've got legs, but even in 50C temperatures, my wife wouldn't be seen dead with me in shorts. Too much of the something to frighten naughty children with factor, I'm afraid.

I totally agree with this post!!! That is definitely why I like Brendan, which is the more he is arrogant, and you get more people saying what a rude pig he is the more I can't understand what they r talking about, as the more I find him irresistible!!!

He can throw me around his cave anyday - and yes as u say without the shirt would be very welcome!!!

*girlish giggles*

Nat
xxx