In homage to the Narnia film which is coming out soon, thought our next forage into Strictly story telling could be our own version of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe:

Cast
Darren B Sparkle - Darren Bennett
Karen H -Sparkle - Karen Hardy
Brendan C - Sparkle - Brendan Cole
Lillia K - Sparkle - Lillia Koplova

Mr Ian Tumnus Waite- Ian Waite
White Witch/Kindly Housekeeper - Arlene P
Mr Beaver - Bruno
Mrs Beaver - Zoe

Old Professor Acoutrement - Len

Special appearance as the Lampost - Craig RH

Asantonlan (the dancer) - Anton Du Beke

Various woodland creatures, rest of dancers etc


It is a late Autumn afternoon and Darren B Sparkle and his brother and sisters are nearing the end of a long train journey to stay with their great uncle, Old Professor Accoutrement. He lived in a very old house high on a hill that he ran as a dance school, soon it would be filled with dancers practicing for the next series of Strictly Narnian Dancing, but until then the house was there's as long as they kept out of the Old Prof's way, he had become a Prof in order to perfect a keyhole that wouldnt rust while he was practicing so he was spending all his time on this and wouldnt want to be disturbed.
Darren C Sparkle suddenly looked out of the train window and said look, It takes two, it takes two what's says his siblings, no not what's its the name of the station, It Takes Two to Tango Halt!! Ah right said Darren B out you get everyone we still have a long trek to the house, they jumped out not expecting anyone to meet them but then a kindly voice called out, are you the Sparkle children by any chance, why yes ma'm replied Darren. I am Mrs Arlene Batty, the old Prof's housekeeper sent to bring you to the house. Presently they were all on the pony and trap and eventually arrived at the house. They gaped in awe because though it was an old house, it was also very very pink.
Children said Mrs Batty I must show you to your quarters then leave you to get settled, I will return with your supper.
She showed them to their rooms where they unpacked and then feeling restless Lillia K said hey lets play hide and seek, the children were joyful at this and Brendan was chosen as finder and the others ran to hide, Lillia K was so desperate to find a good place to hide that she found herself in a long corridor with lots of doors in in, below one shone a dim light, slowly she aproached the door and saw it had written on it "The Tres Bon Dressing Room" and underneath in large letters, do not enter. Of course this was like a red rag to a bull, and slowly, very slowly she turned the knob until she could see into the room and there she found............

a land filled with pink sparkly clouds and tall, tall mirrors.
In the distance she could hear the faint sound of music. Having taken some dance lessons Lillia Sparkle recognised the music as a tango.
Enchanted she followed her feet dancing and skipping all the way as if bewitched.

Presently she came a cross a lamp post.

As she danced passed the lamp post she was sure she could hear it calling out numbers. Although she was'nt sure why it would be doing that.

" 4" called out the lamp post and pulled a pouty face. The Lamp post then pulled her to it and she found herself doing an oversway.

" Strange" thought Lilia where I come from lamp posts don't usually do this sort of thing.

Thinking she must be mistaken she continued to follow the music..............

"

The music got louder as she followed it ,on and on twisting and turning, until she stopped feeling so cold. Was her rumba dress too sparse she gasped!. No! She was standing on a dance floor of snow.She recognised the music from a former life. It was Aled, the gnome ,singing walking in the air. She spotted a shy fawn slipping and stumbling on the snow floor. 'I'm Fiona,' said the fawn 'and you're in Narnia. It's always winter here but never Christmas so no Christmas special for us.'
Come .

Lilia followed hesitantly
she looked behind her and saw that Brendan C Sparkle, the finder, had indeed found her!
"We are in Narnia" she exclaimed "there is no christmas special here"
to this Brendan let out a massive cry "i live my life for xmas specials, however will i cope"
Lilia K Sparkle comforted Brendan C Sparkle as they follwed the fawn down the path!
they reached an opening which was full of ice statues, ice chairs and everything else icey you could possibly wish to find!
there was also Karen H Sparkle and Darren B Sparkle who had also found their way into Narnia
"The wardrobe" whispered Karen H Sparkle "was enchanted! it led us here! and look, look what else we have found..."
Darren B Sparkle showed Brendan C Sparkle and Lilia K Sparkle a ballroom made of ice
presently they made their way to the ballroom and once again they heard the music that Lilia K Sparkle had followed to this magical world
They were dancing away passionately to the tango when all of a sudden it stopped!
in the distance they saw the white witch Arlene appear
she was getting closer and closer
The sparkles ran as fast as they could until....

They came to a halt at a fast flowing River. "What do we do now, she's gaining on us!" exclaimed Lilia. "There is nothing for it; we must trick her into freezing the river so we can cross it with a wistful and flowing Foxtrot" said Darren as he looked behind him to see the witch appear in full view. "Will it work?" motioned Lilia as they moved cautiously back to the edge of the riverbank. "It has to work!" said Darren.

All of a sudden in a flash of blinding silver light the wicked witch appeared before them, "Found you; I told you Sparkles; Resistance and escape is a fools escapade"
All of a sudden a dashing master dancer known only as "Asantonlan" appeared before the witch and leapt in front of The Sparkles.

"Asantonlan! The Master Ballroom Hero! Oh how we are glad to see you but hurry, we don't have time for one of your lessons now, can you not see we're in trouble here?!" shouted Lilia. "Fear not Sparkles, I shall fend off this aging witch...woman...thing (Sorry Arlene! lol) whilst you make your escape across the misty river" - "But how Asantonlan?, The river is fluid, it needs to create a path first" said Darren .... .....

"Look I don't have time for this" shouted Asantonlan. " Go and ask that funny thing over there" pointly vaguely to the east.
Off they trudged until they came across a very odd creature with a funny flat tail.
"Oh what passion ... DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!!!" it said,although they couldn't see it fully (it was hidden behind a tree!!) . It sounded Italian and was obviously very pleased with something.
"Why it's a beaver!!!" said Darren B sparkle
"Oh my darlings I have been waiting for so long for the dancers to arrive!!!!!!" said Mr Bruno Beaver
"Come back with me to my dam. I do believe Mrs Zoe Beaver is cooking pasta with the stars of my new show (you'll have to think up a name)!!!"
And off they waltzed, until suddenly Darren B sparkle said, " But Mr Beaver, why have you been waiting so long for us?" ...........

I know it sucks, right?!!!

It's all great. I wish I could join in but I haven't read the book for years so have no idea what is going on! But it is brilliant stuff.

[quote=startwirler3]
Special appearance as the Lampost - Craig RH

QUOTE]
ROTFLMAO!!!

At this Mr Bruno Beaver looked sadly at the children and said, oh my dears, my samba queens, my dogs running round drainpipes, can it be that you've been so desperate to meet me that you've missed out some of the story. Quick one of you must go back an see Mr Ian Tumnus Waite and he will tell you why we have waited so long to see you. A slow grin spread over Lillia Sparkles face, thats not the man with the hooves of silver and furry pink legs and with his full chest out is it? The very same cried Bruno Beaver, go child and find him I will take the rest of you to Mrs Beaver till Lillia returns.
So off Lillia a ran an presently found herself at the lampost one more which was now shouting things like, silly man you couldnt ronde to save your life, and hate it darling positively hate it you couldnt rumba if one jumped up an hit you. Lillia looked all around her and then before her was the most glorious chest you have ever seen (you must understand he was much taller than her so her head was about perfect chest height ) Is that you Mr Ian Waite Tumnus, and is your lovely chest not cold? Yes it is I he replied, and no my dear I have a very special chest which can have maximum exposure and never gets cold!!! Come now child let us have tea and toast and I will explain the ledgend of The Tres Bon Dressing Room and Why Mad White Witch Arlene has closed the Narnian Ballroom forever.............

....... "Well my dear Lilia, Narnia has become a terrible place. Ever since Mad White Witch Arlene started to reign. It all began just after she was crowned. It wasn't our decision of course but Asantonlan had gone and the country was in chaos. As soon as that crown was placed on her head I knew there was going to be trouble." He shuddered, making his muscules ripple :P.
"The first ball arrived and she sat high on her throne without a care in the world. I danced with Camilla, the twig (we did the jive) but the Christmas special was brought to an abrupt halt. The Mad White Witch was screaming at the top of her lungs "NO MORE DANCING!!!!! You are all terrible!!! There's no hip action and your lines are atrocious!!!! Never, ever dance again!!!!!!"
She banned the entire forest from dancing!! We still do of course (Lilia's body trembled at the thought of Mr Ian Tumnus Waite's thrusting hips during the rumba), but in secret."
Lilia couldn't resist any longer " Oh Mr Ian Tumnus Waite, take me now I beg you!!!"
The fawn looked quite taken aback.
" I can't" he replied, "Mad White Witch Arlene said we can't dance, and I fear if we do, we won't be able to control ourselves and will somehow manage to reveal ourselves to her. And the punishments are most severe."
"What are they?" Lilia asked breathlessly
"My muscules would disappear, my face would turn ugly and my feet would become clumpy!!!" he said, his face forlorn.
"NO!!!!!" Lilia cried and ran all the way back to Mr Bruno and Mrs Zoe Beaver's home to tell them the whole story............

I really do keep killing all these threads don't I???

They were (fox)trotting through the forest, on their way back, when suddenly, there was a flash of sparkling pink legs and a booming 'Bonjour'. It was Asantoniian.

' I've had my thinking mane on and I will open the ballroom. It will be lovely. There will be Turkish Delight and American Smoothies for all. I will dance with every woman in Narnia for half an hour. The sparkling ball will shed sunshine and happiness everwhere, Summer will come.'

White Witch Arlene squeaked'Well! I can see then that Colin Jackal will be jumping around and Darren Goat will be throwing balls. The next stop will be the athletics track not the bedroom!'

Asantonian aqnd White Witch Arlene faced each other,feet poised, hands elegant, shoulders relaxed,perfect stance. The battle would begin...

We get back to the story in hand and return to the Home of the Beavers and the children who are now full from their tasty meal of Mrs Claudia Beavers special pasta shapes, as Lillia Sparkle rushed in to join them Mrs C Beaver brought out a plate for her filled with little pink pasta trousers and little Ian waite chests!!! Ooh Lovely said Lillia tucking in and between mouthfuls relating the story Mr Ian Tumnus has just told her. It is true my dears said Bruno Beaver, if The White Witch Arlene has her way we will all be turned into flat footed people with unthrustable hips and chests fully covered up, please you have been brought here to save us and release us from the curse of endless winter and no Christmas Special.
What must we do said Darren Sparkle to change things for you. The only way said Bruno Beaver is for the four of you to sit upon the the most holy Judging Thrones in the Narnian Ballroom which the wicked white witch Arlene has closed and bound with many enchantments, but we are Children exclaimed Darren, doing stunning latin is one thing but breaking enchantments and sitting on the judgely thrones, Craig the Lamp post would never forgive us.

Just at that moment Lillia noticed that Brendan Sparkle was missing, look every one Brendan is gone, where can he be?
Quick said the Beavers we must go and look for him.......

Meanwhile deep in the very cold forest, Brendan was wandering aimlessly and fed up because of the lack of girls in this enchanted place, when out of the trees on the path infront of him stopped a large ornate carriage, sitting on the seat was The White Witch Arelene dressed in a spotty dress far too young for her and made up to look like a teenager. Wheedlingly she cried, young man I have some lovely Turkish Custard delight here you look cold and hungry would you like some. Brendan was always susceptible to the call of a woman (even one who should know better) and he was hungry, so he climbed in to the carriage and it set off at a frightful pace and landed at..............

Seems to have halted
Think we need the big battle

next bit of the story needs to be White witch and Brendon arriving at palace of ice, lots of animals turn to stone in real story, in our made ugly, no muscles and heavy feet, and eating of turkish custard delight which is what witch uses to keep Brendon under her control.

Just can think of the words to make it intersting, etc.

I seem to be suffering from the same spelling probs as Anton ( mind you never could spell, and I have dyslexic fingers when I type too quickly)

Maybe tomorrow if nobody else does.it.
Need to be thinking of new story

...... her palace. It was a giant ice sculpture, shaped like a Christamas tree decorated with lights and baubles hanging from it's many turrets. This confused Brendan as he didn't understand why Mad White Witch Arlene would stop the Christmas special if she wanted her house to look Christmassy.
Mad White Witch Arlene smiled at him and he fell off the carriage, his face a mix of shock and confusion.
"Oh my dear," Mad White Witch Arlene cried, jumpping from the carriage, cleavage flying everywhere. Brendan nearly threw up on the spot!!!
"Come eat some more Turkish Custard delight. It will make you feel better," she said, still leaning over him.
It took a while to get it into his mouth, so disgusted he was at the predicament he was in.
Suddenly he saw some horrible statues in the huge courtyard. They were all quite fat, no tautness in their bodies, as you would expect. He realised they didn't have any muscules!! Also they all had enormous flat feet and seemed so forlorn that he wondered how they became that way.
Mad White Witch Arlene caught him looking and bustled him inside saying,"Oh there's nothing interesting out there. Come inside into the warm."
"She's got bloody warped idea of warm!!!" Brendan thought. It was colder inside than out.
Mad White Witch Arlene applied some more bright red lipstick making her look even more insane and just ready to gobble Brendan up. He shivered.
"Can I have some more Turkish Custard delight, please Arlene?" he asked, desperately wanting her to move away from him.
"Of course my dear,"she said, stalking towards him.
He closed his eyes in despair.

Meanwhile Mrs and Mr Beaver were walking along (with plenty of sway) with the children and then out of the blue came ............

Come on help us out please!!!!!!

Pretty please can someone carry on?!

Mr Ian Tumnus Waite.

"Oh Hello" Swooned Lilia Sparkle as her knees gave way.
Mr Ian Tumnas Waite was swift of foot and gracefully dipped to catch Lilia before she hit the ground. This is course did nothing but increase her emptional state.
Her gently put her back on her feet and asked them where they were going so late at night.

" We are looking for Brendon who has gone off on his own somewhere. We don't want him to come to any harm" said Mr Bruno Beaver with a slight accent.

" Have you seen him?" asked Lilia regaining the power of speach.

"No, but I found this Passo cape on the floor, could it belong to him?" ask Mr ITW

" yes thats his" said Darren. "Where did you find it?

" Over there by the sleigh tracks" replied Mr ITW

As they all walked over to examine the tracks, Mr ITW wrapped the Passo cloak around Lilia who was by now shivering with cold due to the miniscule latin dress she was wearing.

" Lets follow the tracks and see where they leed us" suggested Darren

" Oh I don't think thats is such a good idea" stated Mr ITW

" Why not? asked the children

"Well" said Mrs Zoe Beaver. " the only person who has a Sleigh here is the Witch Arlene and it is not advisable to go anywere near her if you are a dancer"

"Why not?" asked the children again

" Well" replied Mrs Zoe Beaver she will try to intice you with offers of a dance job, which of course never existed, as she has banned all dancing. She will get you dance as an auditiona and then because you broke the rules ( ie not too danc ein this land- or maybe you attempted a lift) she will remove all your muscle tone,turn your face ugly and your right foot into a left one. Hence you will not be able to dance again my loves" Mrs Zoe Beaver then took a breath.

Mr ITW the joined in ( finally able to get a word in edgeways- * sorry Zoe lovers Im not really being nasty*
" Her palace is full of uncoordinated , 2 left footed plain people, she keeps them there to make herself look younger and better.

"oh poor Brendon" cried Karen

At this Lilia again felt slightly over come and Mr ITW put a reasuring arm around her shoulder and said look uphead "
They all followed Mr ITW gracefully pointing had and saw........
Last edited by Georgi M : 09-12-2005 at 13:20

Asantonlan on the path before them. They all stopped dead as he looked at them sadly with those deep deep brown eyes and said in that suave voice, darlings what are you doing here, Mad white witch Arlene is wreaking havoc with the dancers and will prevent the Christmas special if we dont stop her.
Stoutly Darren Sparkle strode forward and knelt before Asantonlan and said, MasterBallroom Lion tell us what we must do, we will fight for you and restore Peace to Narnia.

Stand child said Antonaslan, you must go to The Mad witche's palace and rescue Brendan before she does something with him she may regret, and then you must make your way to the Outdoor Ballroom of Ice in the middle of the woods, there must the great dance battle take place, and if you win (you will need four tens) peace will be restored and we can all dance freely again.
Mr and Mrs Beaver you must return home it is not safe for you in the forest, Children return to the lampost and Mr Ian Tumnus waite will direct you from there.

Then as quickly as he had been there Asantonlan was gone, the Beavers made their farewells and the children walked slowly back to the lamp post, which was still hurling insults in all directions, ten I wouldnt give you a ten for all the tea in china, no lines, no poise, no nothing you lumbering idiot.
There waiting for them looking scared was Mr Ian Tumnus Waite, why so scared Mr Tumnus cried Lillia, well said he there is devillry afoot, the White Witch is on the warpath and we must rescue Brendan before its too late, come follow me. They walked for what seemed like miles till they came to an abrupt stop at a high stone wall, Mr T pressed a brick on the wall and a small door appeared, which he ushered them through, now be silent no one must hear us.

They walked solemnly through the many silent flat footed statues and found Brendan crying on the steps into the Palace, Brendan, Brendan whats wrong they whispered, that wicked old queen promised me a sizzling salsa and all I got was Turkish Custard delight.
Well if you will run off on your own silly boy said Darren what do you expect. Suddenly Mr T started and said come we must leave someone has heard us, they rushed back to the door in the wall and escaped just in time.

Now said Mr T we must make our way to the Ice Ballroom and fight for our very dancing lives.......................

.... "But we can't!" cried Brendan"No one will give us a 10, no one!!!"
"But I have friends, dear Brendan C sparkle and Asantonlan will help us!!!" cried Mr Ian Tumnus Waite.
"Bonjour"said Asantonlan whom having heard his name ran to see what they wanted.
"Oh Asantonlan do you think we could win?" asked Karen H sparkle.
"Oh shut up of course you'll win!" he cried grinning from ear to ear.
"Will you help us?" pleaded Lilia.
"Of course! It'll all be tres bon!!"
"Oh brilliant," they all cried and hugged him. Mr Ian Tumnus Waite looked a little put out.

So the training began. They split into pairs; Darren and Lilia, Karen and Brendan. They were doing a group dance and it looked fantastic.
But lurking in the woods stood Mad White Witch Arlene, watching them.
"Oh," she thought, "So that's their little game is it? Well I shall compete against them and I will win!!!!" She grinned leering at Mr Ian Tumnus Waite.
She'd found herself a partner.

After the success of Pride and Strictly Prejudice shouldn't this one be as good?!