I met Libby today for the first time and we came up with an idea for a Star Trek Strictly story, so here goes and apologies to all non trek fans.

Cast:

Captain Len Picard
1st officer - Bruno RikerToniolli
2nd officer - Anton Data DuBeke
Counsellor - Arlene Trial
Engineer - Brendan La Cole
Doctor - Lillia Crusher
Wesley - Ian Wesley Waite
Worf - Darren Worf Gough
Voice of Computer - Craig RH
Data's evil twin brother - Anton Lore Du Beke
Spot the Cat - Also Craig RH
Queen of the Borg - Erin

Please note some characters will be the opposite of the original characters.

Somwhere in a Galactic Ballroom far far far away the crew of the great ship StrictlyEnterprise SCD Mark 1 are horrified to find that their great enemies the StrictlyBorg are planning to capture and assimillate all the StrictlySpace Dancing Judges (apart from Len) into their collective and thus prevent there ever being a Strictly Space Dancing Competition ever again. They have already assimilated Diddy Darren Bennett, Camilla, Brucie, Claudia, Zoe, James, Colin, and anyone else who I cant remember. It is the task of our bold and valiant crew to lock horns with the Strictly Borg and rescue their people and let the great dance contest continue.

Come my fine ship mates let us return to the Strictly Enterprise and make plans said Captain Len waving his acoutrements at all and sundry. Aye Captain said his crew as one, Mr La Cole are we ready to transport? All that can be heard is giggling below the transporter desk, Mr La Cole put that ensign down right now and come and transport us immediately. Sheepishly Mr La Cole emerges his uniform slighty awry (oops sorry its the new kind of uniform slashed to the waist, so not so in disarray as imagined) The Captain of course has the normal kind Yes Captain right away, they transport back to the ship where Ian Wesley Waite (excuse the pun) was waiting for them, Lillia Crusher was so proud of her big chesty boy she smiled proudly, look at my gorgeous handsome boy everyone she said. Stop it mum said Ian Wesley embarrassed I have important news to impart cant do that if you are gushing over my manly chest.
Sorry dear go right a head. Yes said Captain Len what is the news? Well said he Diddy Darren and Claudia have effected an escape from the Strictly Borg Collective and have sent an encrypted message, I need Brendan le Cole and Anton Data Du Beke to decipher it for me.
But surely said the suave voice of Data Dubeke, if you have this message you have already deciphered it? Err well they sent the first part in English so we'd know it was an encrypted message said Ian Wesley blushing.
Ok said Anton Data, pass it over and lets see what Brendan and I can make of it..............................

After running it through the computer a few times they finally make sense of it.

Anton Datadubeke read out the message Claudia and Darren had sent:

"Something strange happened when the Borg attempted to assimilate us. Suddenly they all started saying things like "Nice to see you, to see you nice". Darren managed to further disorientate them by teaching them the Viennese Waltz so they are all now doing natural and reverse turns beautifully and at ever increasing speed. Their concentration on their dancing meant that we were able to escape. We will try to take down their shields so that you can beam the judges out. We will also try to open a hailing frequency so that you can see what is happening on the Borg cube."

Lt Worf shouted "We are being hailed by the Borg ship"

"On screen"

The Bridge Crew watched transfixed at the sight of the Borg, in couples, doing an increasingly speedy Viennese Waltz round their cube. What amazed them more was the sound of the unmistakeable voice of Bruno Tonioli saying.......................

Beautiful Darlings, beautiful, thats it keep up with the lovely arms, ooh your all my Borg's of the Ball. At this moment Erin Borg (sorry Erin Queen of the Borg) appears and says stop this instantly, if you think teaching my drones to dance will distract me and allow you to help them escape you are much mistaken. Bruno quivered terrified and signaled for the dance to stop, quietly they all returned to their regeneration chambers and watched old films of original Come Borg Dancing, from the days when Arlene was Young and Brucie younger still!!!!
As for Bruno the Borg Queen led him to her bower and demanded he teach her the cha cha cha or he'd never see the BBC studios again.

Oh dear said Len Picard guess that screws things up a little, come on folks we need a plan. Meanwhile over at his console Anton Data Dubeke is quietly singing to himself "Waltzing forms, lovely little waltzing forms, beautiful little waltzing forms" suddenly the computer spoke, will someone please shut off that annoying little android, bad enough that he dances in his spare time do we have to have him singing too. As for you Picard, arms remember the arms, and Darren Worf work those hands darling, work those hands, oh yes down to business, theres an unidentified ship approaching.

Thanks for remembering to tell us snarled Bruno Riker, on screen said Captain Len, and they all turned as one to the screen and watched astounded as they saw approaching them...........

Oooh, suggesting Erin as the borg queen in HARSH! I'd make it Arlene!

And Darren B should be captain, because he's a trekkie fan!

Well as it happens..........

A little pink elephant shaped escape pod, they all stood stunned for a few moments and then Captain Len said, bring it into cargo bay three and mr darren worf have security there to meet it.
So Captain Len and Bruno Riker went down to investigate the mysterious craft and found in cargo bay three, Captain Darren Bennett Picard, who had managed to escape from the Borg and had return to take back his ship. Mr Darren Worf take this imposter and put him in a holding cell until he's perfected his ronde's. Dont just stand there man, make it so.

So for a short time order was restored to the Strictly Enterprise, but later, much later, it is discovered that Counsellor Arlene Trial has disappeared and in her place has been left the seemingly lifeless body of Erin the real counsellor.

The crew wait anxiously as she lies comatose in the infirmary allowing Dr Lillia Crusher to look her most perplexed and bring her back to life at the last moment.
Bruno Riker is most relieved that his beloved has been restored to him and takes her off to recover in his quarters and to show her his perfect spot turns.

Meanwhile Captain Bennett Picard is on the bridge with Anton Data Du Beke hatching a plan to board the Borg Glitter Ball and rescue their people so that Strictly Space Dancing could be restored to the galaxy.

I say we get in there and dance so well and so hard we knock their socks off, and distract them long enough to rescue our people, it could work you know, Ian Wesley Waite could Tango them into submission and if that doesnt work I'll get out my American Smooth and bend them to my will.

So is all not lost, can Ian wesley waite Tango the strictly borg into submission or will Anton Data Dubeke have to get out his American Smooth....................