LK and Deerd start a campaign to make men see sense!

so many men still seem to think that if they buy you a drink or a meal or even a bloody hotdog ... they have some rights!

LK - always pays her own half of any bill.

I'll join the campaign!

Agree also that its the interpretation (by men) of the law which causes problems.

You buying lunch maybe?

Oh go on !

LK - rabbits on never knowing gender .... I would hate to be a bunny boiler !

Its always men who cause the problems ... women sit down and talk it out and MEAN what they say

Only if you're paying half

that's why our's WOULD be a reasoned campaign, 'cos we know that not all men are the enemy.

just the ones that do or, in whatever way, continue to condone that which is done.

Deerd
for LKs idea, but - bunny boilers need not apply

but pleeeeeeeeeaaase don't ever make me try to type prosecutorial again - got it right just this once

but figure it was a fluke.

How about hot dogs????

Anyone happen to read the statistics (Yeah i know) that 1 in 20 women have been raped by a man?

They dont mean abducted and raped - or date rape - although it all is in the statistics ... but men who rape their wives, partners etc.

Why if men want to do it and cant find someone . why dont they just pay the 20quid or whatever .........

Sometimes I wish I could be a lesbian.

LK - thinks its a good job Beth is sleeping

Glad to hear you say this

I was intimidated just having to read it - especially at this time of night.

Impressed.

Maybe

Prefer courgettes, or even cucumbers when they are in season.

Yes, it is shocking about the rape statistics - doesn't that part of the percentage make up the majority of instances, or something?

little know stat - it was only in the 1980's (late) that the law was changed to allow men to be prosecuted for raping their wives - england and wales.

and few cases have yet been brought and fewer still lead to conviction.

Deerd
did a bit of work with women's aid monitor a few years back

yes it does.

what worries me - is that men with wives/partners still dont get charged with rape.

even though the wives/partners cant move out of the family home as they have no where to go

no - its never happened to me - but I used to do part time work at a womens hostel ..... where there was never enough room.

[quote]little know stat - it was only in the 1980's (late) that the law was changed to allow men to be prosecuted for raping their wives

quote thingy isnt working

yup at one point if you were married it was impossible to accuse your husband of raping you.

sometimes i despair of men.

then some men make me ashamed of thinking of them like that. there just aren't enough of them.

What men say, what men think, and what men do .... are totally different.

[quote]Originally posted by LadyKnight

Quote:
“little know stat - it was only in the 1980's (late) that the law was changed to allow men to be prosecuted for raping their wives

quote thingy isnt working

yup at one point if you were married it was impossible to accuse your husband of raping you.

sometimes i despair of men.

then some men make me ashamed of thinking of them like that. there just aren't enough of them.

What men say, what men think, and what men do .... are totally different.”

yes, but the argument so often ends in the mire because those who become most focal often don't recognise that not all men are the enemy.

the debate then becomes the ever so principled 'all men are potential rapists'. objectively that could be true, but to accept that premise as the start of the argument undermines and does a disservice to the campaigns which make practical and pragmatic attempts to ensure the right of victims are protected and that their cause is rightly presented.

this can never be a one gender cause and must be inclusive.

it's best to id ones enemy and target them, not just blanket an enemy and hope that things will change.

Deerd
finds the use of the word 'potential' spurious and unhelpful. naivety, maybe???, but yet to be convinced.

sorry again for cutting your post

I actually do think that ALL men given the 'right' situation would rape.. and then totally deny it.

I do think there are degrees of rape .. though i am very worried that the courts could go that way.

RAPE is Rape is rape ..... its all awful. But some rapes are worse than others. Its like murder.. some are worse than others.

I don't know the answer, if you perpetuate that point of view how could the sexes ever live togetjer?

They do though!

anyway i must away to my bed for a couple of hours ... i can stay up forever and then suddenly go all floppy
nite xxxxx
could someone work this thread back to BB before beth or mr0 closes it?

LK x

goin back to the start - to BB again

one of my main hopes, in regard to this issue, would have to be that adele is receiving adequate support from BB in light of the questions challenging her right to define her sexuality, and determine the extent of her own sexual experience.

i worry that BB as well as many other may be too keen to resort to recognized labels rather than honour and respect the individual and th echoices they make.

i had little time for adele while she was in the house and don't really believe that she has changed any since leaving the house, but noones right to determine their sexuality and the scope of it should ever come under question, far less used as an argument against them as individuals.

Deerd
concerned at the tenor of the witch-hunt. she was nasty in the house, there's your ammo if you want to fire it. her sexuality should never be part of the battle far less the war.

OK..now that the 3 ladies have exhausted themselves and gone to bed lets try to get back on topic.

I reckon that anyone who goes into the house will have a strategy of some sort. They would be pretty silly not too. By and large I think the strategy would be based on looking at the success or lack of it of previous Hms.

If you look closely enough I think you will be able to discern which of the previous Hms this year's mob were trying to emulate (might make an interesting thread?).

Could it not quite simply be that Adele's strategy was based on her sexuality and virginity? If she could get enough ppl interested in this aspect of her personality mebbe she could get to stay in the house right up to and beyond the final round. Based on a Will she Wont She type of thing

Sorry, not trying to answer my own post. I had to reboot mid thread cos of that damn Filter Key thing (Grrrrrrrrrrr).

If you accept where I was going with this thread then you can mebbe see that Adele was covering just about every angle with her strategy with the bisexual/virgin thing. That meant that if the viewers found her sexuality interesting they would vote to keep her in.

Since there were no overt lesbians in the House she had to latch on to a guy. If you saw how quickly she jumped from being the love of Lee's life to being the bisexual who wanted to lose her virginity to Alex you can see how flexible her strategy was. She was genuinely surprised when she got booted.

The one thing that didn't mesh with her strategy was the bitching and that was where she fell by the wayside. If it hadn't been for that, who knows? She could have been in the final four.

Thats my theory anyway. What do you reckon???

( wormyl little impostor )
What about the mothers of children who have sufferd sexual abuse at the hands a of a male in the family and do nothing? do they Misinterpret the law?
The law isnt only misinterpreted by men, the values of some women are at best incogruous with the law. Even on here kate has been described on numerous occassions as A 'TART' by women posters, which obviously means she will jump into bed with any bloke. women could help the issue by reducing the mixed messages they send out.
I have two sons and one day they will be men, I have my part to play in making sure they get the right message...but so do women!
( rape is never justified)

If she stayed in the final 4, it would NOT have been because of her sexuality. Her virginity was not hyped (maybe the first week when she told Lee but then died out) and was not the centre of most conversation, her sexuality was not either, that's why PJ was SHOCKED that he didn't hear/know anything about Adele sexuality and couldn't believe tha no one told him.

I belive the show in question was, The Jenny Jones show where they had people on who had secret crushes on people they worked with/lived next door to.

Hope this helps.

Maybe theres some truth in this , I don't know, but I have to admit that when she did announce that she was bisexual and a virgin it didnt seem to fit in with what was going on at the time. Ok so there was a supposedly blossoming romance and she may have thought it was better to be open with Lee but it just didn't seem right. I remember thinking at the time....why would she want to bring that up now? Also I don't think she got quite the reaction she was looking for. It seemed to me that she was expecting people to be shocked and have a reaction but they weren't and there wasn't.

That's why
I think maybe she mentioned her sexuality too early. If her relationship with Lee had gone further then maybe she would have kept both her AND Lee in with a kind of 'will she won't she' type scenario.

I see it differently. I think Adele when realising that Lee was very much interested in her she wanted him to know where she is coming from before he got more commited to her (maybe that's why in real life she never got a boyfriend because she was confused about her sexualiyt? dunno just a supposion), and even told him that she has a girlfriend (now if she was ever playing it tactically she would not reveal that she has a girlfriend would she? as it' a sure way to push people away from her), that way if he was really interested then her revelation wont bother him, but obviously it did even though he didn't tell her in her face.

Just a side note. Thanks for bringing this back to topic, I would have had to close it otherwise. Also, thanks for handling a difficult issue sensitively while it was off-topic - it really is appreciated.

~ Beth.

Virginity is not a physical thing but rather a state of mind. Because someone does not have penetrative sex does not make them a virgin. Virginity is about being chaste in mind a well as body. Do you really believe that someone engaging in oral sex,handjobs or fingering etc is a virgin. An intact hymen is not what being a virgin is all about. Same thing applies to guys...getting oral sex etc does not make them virgins either. Adele gave the false inoression in the house that she was sexually inexperienced.I have no prudish beliefs at all I do believe the concept of virginity is misunderstood.