Hey Lady Boz… Is there any truth in what I heard in the queue for the ladies at the service station (junction 24) on the M6 this morning?
i.e That John Prescott has booked the croquet lawn at Boz Towers for his next game?

Thank you your ladyship from your faithful servant.

Common as muck Tasi xxx

Tasi, you've raised a big grin on this sad old bag lady face of mine.

How did you know about John Prescott and the croquet lawn here at Boz Towers. Still, he's under strict orders not to try any hankie pankie on my best MFI Chippendale furniture. The Queen Anne legs wouldn't take it. Couldn't bear the thought of flabby naked flesh on my leather chaise longue.

As for being common as muck, young Tas, never!! Can't be any more common than moi!! One was born in South Dulwich or Peckham as its commonly known. Dragged meself up and here one is.........a Lady!! Twirled some and then, voila! Bit like Linda Wossername ... Wonder Woman!!!

What a horrible thought L.B,you entertaining John Prescott on croquet lawn at Boz Towers. Poor you. Better find room for Two Jags.

Personally, one thinks it was a wicked rumour put around by scaremongers and ne'er-do-wells. But put your cares away young things, Lord Boz has the blunderbus ready to repel all boarders!!!

Ohhhh yer ladyship (tugs at forelock and curtseys ) I be come over all unnecessary now! There’s me a 56 year old granny (All me own teeth but the figures gone) and yer ladyship be calling me young.

I been working in the kitchens of Boz Towers for nigh on 40 years come next swan upping, and may I say it’s a privilege to work for you and ‘is Lordship. Proper gent he be.

Ah yer ‘as to watch the furniture when that Prescott be about! Mind you he be a bit of an atntik.. antiqoo… old un his self bent he? Bow front and Queen legs like he do ‘ave.

Well yer ladyship the slops be needing emptying down here in the bowels of Boz Towers and there’s a pigs ‘ead needs boiling and what with cook ‘aving trouble with her bunions It all do fall on me this morning.

Thank ee again (Exits drawing room backwards whilst bowing low)

How are you and the Handsome Lord Boz
Does he fancy a spot of Paso at any time soon ?lol.
Hope the young squirrels are not mesing up the croquet lawn too much, they may mistake the balls as for rather large nuts.

Hope you are taking good care of the Lilac Prince and have found him a good dance patner. Send him my best wishes.
Life in Sunny Lincs great

Love

Lincs Princess ( aka the Queen of the Squirrels) and her funny sweet tall blonde Prince.

XXXXXXXXXX

Whats this Ive found an entire thread dedicated to my little Bozzling friend, whatever next a thread on the delights of nuts by the squirrel Queen.......

I sincerely hope Mr P is not allowed anywhere near your pristine lawn my Lady, not sure he'd know what to do with such large balls......and Im sure your fine Lord of the Manor would heartily disapprove!!!! Greetings Mistress Tasi I trust the bowels of Boz Towers are not treating you ill?

Ah Georgi I fear the Lilac Prince is now a broken and lonely man, your desertion for the tall blonde one has left him in rack and ruin, his shirts go un ironed, his once fine neck has not seen a tie for weeks and he's shaved off all his chest hair in protest, but hopefully the Lady Boz and the Squirrels will be able to nurse him back to health before the next series of SCD!!!!

Must away to my much shorter darker prince.......

H0PE THAT YOUV'E HAD SOME LUCK WITH YOUR TASK L.B AND LITTLE SQUIRREL FRIENDS, PLEASE RESTORE PURPLE PRINCE TO HIS FORMER GLORY, PLEASE CAN I COME & HELP, AM BEGGING ON BENDED KNEES MY LADY. GROVEL GROVEL

Don't talk to me about the bowels of Boz Towers. The privy
be blocked solid and His Lordship be in a right to do.

Well you know if it was up to me you could help in an instant, as it is Ive no idea where the Divine Lady of Bozzling is keeping the Lilac Prince, perhaps if we bow deeply to her she in her graciousness may tell us and allow the salvage operation to begin, and it must begin soon as it has come to my ears that he is now forswearing ever wearing purple or lilac ever again so heartbroken is he at the loss of his previous Queen..........

I give permission for China doll to look after Lilac prince ( Anton) and ofcourse be assisted by Pris.

You have my blessings

The Squirrel Queen

Just an update on condition of Velvet Prince, who has been entrusted to my care. He is making excellent progress. How do I cause relapse? So that I can hang on to him longer, at least until September. . You can see how happy this job is making me.

Sorry about confusion referring to him as Velvet Prince, tis his fault, being so Smooooooth! Where is Pris? Dosn't seem to be helping much, not that I need any help, you understand.

Dear hearts!! so sorry for being away for so long, but am back now.

Well such exalted company we have with us. Lady Georgi and my most favourite storyteller, Star!! Gladdens the heart!!

Young Tasi, known as young so that you are not mistaken for old Tasi. You've heard the stories, no doubt about her and the feathers, the bishop and the .......... all very true!!!! One is relieved to have such loyal staff, young Tasi. You must have seen the changes over the years since moi came as a child bride, just out of the womb, so to speak. One was that small that one couldn't say "One Does" when being married, just puked over the bishop!! None of that getting unnecessary with the staff is allowed now. Got Old Boz well tamed.

Well, the Lilac Prince is definitely brighter now he knows that China Doll is to take care of him. but he is asking to take the young Squirrelins with him Shall miss them but not their crushed nut shells nor will our Young Tasi. No more squirrel nuts of the other kind, young Tas!

Will make sure that all his togs are clean and pressed before he leaves, a broken man pining for the love of the Lady G, but there is a spark in his eyes when told of the charms of China Doll.


Will you all stay a while and take tea??

Lady Boz

will Gladley take tea with you Lady Boz, but may have to leave early when my Handsome Prince Anthony takes me dancing.Im sure The Lilac prince will be happy with China Doll, just watch your garden with the young squirrels they like to dig up the bulbs and replant them else where. My garden loks nothing like it should do plants all in the wrong place and spring bulbs in with the salad almost ate some flowers instead of salad leaves last year. They will be an asset to your gardener if you can train them well but left untrained are just a pain- mind you maybe they should be left to thier own creative devices- they may even rival Dermot the long haired Irish head gardener for creative ( but odd) style and flair in the garden design dept.

Tis a good job i'm used to the antics of squirrels, as have a few of my own to contend with, a few more won't make much difference, may even help as garden is looking rather unkempt at the moment, don't have help, as am sure her Ladyship does. Could do with assistance of Dermot the long haired irish gardener, any chance of loaning him out? It's very assuring that you think Lilac Prince will be happy with me. I will do my utmost to bring this about. Does anyone know what he likes to eat?????? As the way to a man's heart etc.

Ah My Lady Bozzling, enchanted to see you once more, glad your Lord has been tamed at last, coming over all unnecessary can be embarrassing in public lol

Lady Georgi, one sincerely hopes that your Prince is taking you the kind of dancing that involves heeled shoes and a dancefloor (well at least while you are in public)

China Doll I would dearly love to tell you the way to a mans heart (a skill I have just lately learned) but alas the details are not printable on a pure and innocent site such as this..............

As for gardners I would favour Lord Monty of Don, all that tousled hair and corduroy fair makes a lady go weak at the knees.........oh oops they are meant to weed and plant things, so sorry got carried away, must away and try and remedy these hot flushes I seem to be overcome with these days....................

Pure & innocent, must be on wrong thread. Please Star do tell! Need to Know basis only, you understand. Latest news on Prince. Henceforth to be re-titled, The White Prince, as he is now attired from head toe in White, beautifully laundered, My Lady, surely not ironed, by your own fair hand, in person? He is at said time relaxing under a parasol on the Patio, glass of Wine in hand. Am I on the right track Star? Don't want to mess it up, all advice will be taken on board. So far Squirrels behaving, although don't know what will happen when one's supply of nuts runs out. Eeeek! Off to nearest Pet Shop.

The aformentioned White Prince ( formally known as the Lilac Prince) likes to dine out on good food and wine so if planing on cooking for him at home steer clear of BBQs and anything with chips. Partial to a bit of fish but not battered. Im sure he would also be happy if you sat with him on the patio and feed him grapes. Dont forget to ensure the kitchien has a plentiful supply of the following

1) Custard
2) mangos
3) advacardos
4) bananas
5) plums
6) Nuts

please also ensure he has a pure white linen napkin to hand at all meals and silver wear of the higest quality. All food should be served of of the finest bone china.

Oh and most important
a constant suply of coffee for which he must never have to queue.

Must bin paper plates then! Painting a pretty scary picture there Georgi M, Himself already in Divaish Mode today. But one will do one's best. Have to do one's own skivvying, unlike Her Ladyship. Can't get the staff these days. As for his little Squirrel friends, how does one coax them down from one's Plush Gold Velvet Drapes, you could've warned me they wern't housetrained. Trying to hang on to one's Sanity, but it's a strain. Grateful for any help. Pretty Please.

.

Take heart, China Doll, do not be put off by the White Prince's (fornerly known as the Lilac Prince) apathy and indifference. He has known nothing but pure worship from Lady Georgi but now her heart has been given to another he must get used to your way of putting him on a pedastal, so to speak. We must thank the good and saintly Young Tasi for his turnout, it's her endeavours not moi's.

As for the squirrels, well they will settle down very quickly. Just call them gently and say " come down darlings, mummmy has a bag of nuts" putty in your hands.

Dear Diary, send dearest China Doll that new 40kg box of air fresheners

Thanks for the Squirrel advice My Lady of Boz, It does seem to have worked, for the moment. As for my other problem. He has dined on Prawn and Avocado for Starter, Chicken in White Wine, followed by Fresh Tropical Fruit Salad & Cream,almost Bursting out of tight White Trousers after that. Washed down with a bottle of supermarket's best Plonk, and Coffee. Will soon have him saying, Who was Lady Georgi anyway. Don't you think? His bed awaits, fresh crisp White Linen,chocolate on Pillow. Don't think iv'e overdone it, do you? The air fresheners will be most welcome. Thank You.

With all that scrummy din-dins inside the White Prince he'll do nothing else but snore and dream of you.

Ah!!

No not too much at all sounds like you are doing a princely job with him, careful with the tight white trousers though we dont want him bursting out of them inadvertantly do we
Also after some consideration I feel you are on the right track with food and clean sheets as the way to a man's heart and I couldnt possibly divulge any other ways there might be to this as it would mean giving away some of my own secrets Which are for me and mine only

Lady Boz I humbly bow before you, glad to see you here again and attending your squirrel friends. One hopes your Lord is not being too tiresome (Im sure he'll come down from that tree eventually) try the nuts trick that seems to work!!!!

Do hope so, don't relish the snoring bit though. Still can't have everything, can one. Please don't tell me, am almost afraid to ask, but, do squirrels snore also!!!!!!!!!