It so contrived that ‘Prisoner Cell Block H’ seems more real.
Glyn appears to have adopted a half-Jade-half-Cameron persona with his ludicrously unbelievable ignorance at opening a tin can and his parochial folksy (crypto-fascist) outlook on life. The BB story line for him is some ‘boy-to-man’ guff that is being rammed down the viewers’ throats with a big stick.
Lea has the ‘tart with a heart’ role with a bit of ‘Craig’ style sex-pest stalking thrown in for interest. She is clearly on the show as an extended audition for the hard-core porn industry (and indeed admits those huge bags of rubber in her chest were implanted for porn work). The BB story line for her is some kind of ‘acceptance’ trip for her freaky looks, but in reality she is as hard as nails.
Lisa is the professional northerner of caricature proportions. No real storyline here – just act aggressive and swear her head off in some sort of George Formby accent from 60 years ago. I think the BB story line was supposed to be her and Pete as the ‘odd couple’, but he told the producers he could not carry it on as she stank of fags. She is supernumerary now so they will get rid as soon as possible.
Nikki seems to be a new character type in the BB mix. She has a pre-pubescent body (apart from the rubber jugs) and infantile behaviour (clearly one for the men-in-macks). The BB storyline for her seems to be one of ‘growing up’ and maturing. I pretty sure some of her monologues are scripted but she is quite a good actress it’s not complete nauseating ham.
Aisleyne has the ‘scrubber made good’ role. Her ‘accidental’ muff flashing and jug shots are clearly put in to up the soft porn quota for the show. Orlaith perfected the crutch shot in BB6 and I think Aisleyne was brought into BB7 because she is willing to do it with no knickers. Her ‘Victor’ style Diary Room chats (obviously rehearsed in a mirror at home) are a complete flop, and I reckon the producers will tell her to stick to flashing her ‘bits’ and stop trying to be clever.
Imogen seems to have been put in as attractive filler. No real storyline here – just something to drool over for the lads. However, most of the others disgust her, so she seems to have adopted a ‘viewer in the house’ role. The producers now seem desperate to get rid of her - she is always disadvantaged for nominations and accused of cheating on flimsy evidence.
Mikey is the Ant Hutton of BB7 - just an attractive plank for the ladies. He seems to speak in ‘tongues’ and is just an animated catalogue model.
Pete is the main ‘acceptance’ story of the show (for his disability) and the chosen winner. He has had 5 years in the Endemol fold to perfect his ‘gentle Jesus’ routines, and has clearly been trained by a professional psychologist in his ‘counselling’ methods with the others. His ability to turn his Tourette's on and off, like a tap, and his hammy acting out, stinks of Andy (out of the Andy and Lou sketches from ‘Little Britain’). Even if he exposes his true creepy and dangerous nature, I think they will edit it out to make sure he wins at all costs.
Richard is the token gay. A dumbed down version of Jack McFarland out ‘Will and Grace’. I don’t think the BB storyline wanted him to be a sadistic bully – I expect they just wanted comical gayness and cutting one-liners, and it seems the producers have had a word with him as he now acts ‘gayer’ every day and has suppressed his bullying tendencies.
Susie seems to be an experiment gone wrong. I have no idea what she is supposed to be and what role she has. Her ‘Eliza Dolittle’ accent and demeanour hardly detract from the fact she is an old stank ho.
Anyway – it’s a right load of contrived rubbish.