Seconding Shakira - that whole song is a mess. Like she's dumped the original Colombian lyrics into Babelfish and come up with this lyrical gem.

"Whenever, Wherever"

Lucky you were born that far away so
We could both make fun of distance
Lucky that I love a foreign land for
The lucky fact of your existence

Baby I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body
Never could imagine there were only
Ten Million ways to love somebody

Le ro lo le lo le, Le ro lo le lo le
Can't you see
I'm at your feet

Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear

Thereover, hereunder
You'll never have to wonder
We can always play by ear
But that's the deal my dear

Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
To run for cover when I need it
And these two eyes that for no other
The day you leave will cry a river

Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le
At your feet
I'm at your feet

Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear

Thereover, hereunder
You'll never have to wonder
We can always play by ear
But that's the deal my dear

Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le
Think out loud
Say it again

Le ro lo le lo le lo le
Tell me one more time
That you'll live
Lost in my eyes

Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear

Thereover, hereunder
You've got me head over heels
There's nothing left to fear
If you really feel the way I feel

... unless you count the top of Kilimanjaro...

Good cause, dire record imho.

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Thanks, we'll let you know.

Osmonds/Boyzone - Love me for a Reason

My initial reaction is, honey give me love
not a facsimile of.

----------------------------------
Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

She could be a neurosurgeon
if she's doing nothing urgent

My humps, my humps, my humps, my humps
My lovely lady lumps
Check it out

Ram it Fergie.
Last edited by makinpost : 07-08-2006 at 12:46

Seconded – when I first heard that I was like ….. ug

Also I don’t quite get it – cos the song is called My Humps

But from what I gather from her ‘lyrics’ her lumps are the boobies and the hump is the arse type bit so what are her Humps?

Her buttocks? – but the in the chorus goes My hump My hump My hump? So is it one buttock or… basically what is going on here?

It’s almost like she needed something to rhyme with Lumps and that’s the best she could come up with after 35 mins of sucking on a pen in thought

Come on, that's a really neat lyric. You may not agree with the sentiment but it's well expressed.
Last edited by Inkblot : 07-08-2006 at 16:05

It's basically asking some man what he thinks of her - but she buys her own clothes and stuff (I.e. is independent). Surely the "Question." part gives it away she's asking something?

uhm, no they haven't.

but regardless, it was a terrible song.

I am the eggman goob goob
they are the eggmen goob goob
I am the Walrus goob goob a choop

Live and Let Die, Paul & Linda McCartney:

"And in this ever changing world in which we live IN"

Arghhh. Bad grammar. I just cannae take it!

I agree with Jaccobabe though, the line in the song is:

"Tell me what you think about me", which certainly isn't a question.

It needs to become something like:
"Tell me what DO you think about me?" to become a question rather than a command.

*cough* post 19 *cough*

Good old Gwen 'too much tartrazine' Stefani's:

"This sh*t is bananas
B A N A N A S..."

... has got to rank up pretty highly.

But better still is Boney M's:

"Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen,
There was a cat that really was gone"

... which is just special on many levels.

The nights are colder now.
maybe I should close the door,
And anyway the snow has
covered all your footsteps.

Snow covering footsteps? You should have closed the door much earlier David Essex.

Been wanting to moan about that lyric since the early eighties. I feel so much better now.

What was that lyric in a mel c song it always cracks me up

i cant do without my phone
but you dont even have a home

Its like she got through writing some of the song and couldnt be arsed so stole some lyrics from her 10 year old niece who was doing homework on homeless people!

Eep. I knew someone must've done it before me, but for some reason I completely missed it.

I always thought the "slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball" line from Champagne Supernova was an attempt to describe what it feels like to be coked up to the eyeballs. You know, on the outside you're moving slowly but on the inside you're going at a thousand mph. So not exactly a stupid lyric.

Kym Marsh -

"Everybody knows my name,
Even though I'm still the same..."

Pretty much anything by Sid Barrett, fantastic, but none made sense.

From Squeeze's 'Up The Junction':

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter.......

A remarkably quick delivery.......and in an incubator?......

I heard this horrible R&B/rap song today, which sampled "Please Mr Postman" by the Carpenters. Part of the lyrics were "I am Mr. post. I am Mr toast" what the hell?

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they're blowing
As free as the wind
Hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

Utter, utter drivel from Mr Ferry.

Duran Duran with the classic line from Is there something I should know?

Don't say you're easy on me, you're about as easy as a nuclear war

some of David Bowie's lyrics have been classic's like Time's 1st couple of verses

Time - He's waiting in the wings
He speaks of senseless things
His script is you and me, boy

Time - He flexes like a whore
Falls wanking to the floor
His trick is you and me, boy

Time - In Quaaludes and red wine
Demanding Billy Dolls
And other friends of mine
Take your time

The sniper in the brain, regurgitating drain
Incestuous and vain, and many other last names
I look at my watch it say 9:25 and I think "Oh God I'm still alive"

also his lyrics to Buddha of Surburbia

Living in lies by the railway line
Pushing the hair from my eyes
Elvis is English and climbs the hills
Can't tell the bullshit from the lies
Screaming along in South London
Vicious but ready to learn
Sometimes I fear that the whole world is queer
Sometimes but always in vain