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Instruments that should be banned


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Old 12-09-2006, 13:24
Inkblot
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1. Fretless bass - anyone playing one deserves an Asbo
2. Tenor Sax - invented by a Belgian, and sounds like it
3. Electric piano - funky like a train. A Virgin train

any others?
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Old 12-09-2006, 13:47
Loubogroll
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Bagpipes - just because they freak me out
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Old 12-09-2006, 13:55
!!11oneone
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Pan Pipes when used to play anything other than Andean folk music (and I'm particularly talking about Beatles or Phil Collins songs).

The Harpsichord.
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Old 12-09-2006, 14:04
Inkblot
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I kind of like bagpipes. However panpipes are extremely unpleasant in the wrong hands.
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Old 12-09-2006, 14:12
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The Saxophone and the Yamaha DX7 synthesizer [that's the one Stock, Aitken & Wankerman used].
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Old 12-09-2006, 14:34
!!11oneone
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What about bagpipes playing the later works of Phil Collins?!
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Old 12-09-2006, 15:03
WatfordKev
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Q. What's the difference between a clarinet and a trampoline?
A. You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
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Old 12-09-2006, 15:24
Havelock Vetinari
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Naah keep the Saxophone. Otherwise Baker street would be a pretty boring song. Plus a well played sax sounds good, as performed by Clarence Clemons.
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Old 12-09-2006, 15:33
WatfordKev
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...or Zoot
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Old 12-09-2006, 15:33
!!11oneone
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Nope, I'm sorry. I don't care what great things the saxophone may or may not have done. I've got two words for you: Kenny G

Case closed m'lud
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Old 12-09-2006, 16:00
Arcas
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Originally Posted by Inkblot
1. Fretless bass - anyone playing one deserves an Asbo
Have you never heard the now sadly diseased Jaco Pastorious?
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Old 12-09-2006, 16:05
swirlygirl
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Ok I'm keeping harpsichord and bagpipes.

I think pan pipes should be banned for everyone, as should the acoustic guitar unless you have a license. It seems that when the majority of people get one in their hands, they seem to think that the whole world wants to hear their woes. Well we don't
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Old 12-09-2006, 16:38
Dark Drums
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Originally Posted by Inkblot
3. Electric piano - funky like a train. A Virgin train
Behave, you philistine!

Minus the electric piano, the Fender Rhodes in particular, we would be without some of the finest works of the last 30 or so years.
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Old 12-09-2006, 16:48
Loubogroll
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Originally Posted by !!11oneone
What about bagpipes playing the later works of Phil Collins?!
A double whammy!!!
Let's ban the voice of Phil Collins too
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Old 12-09-2006, 16:50
Loubogroll
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Originally Posted by Arcas
Have you never heard the now sadly diseased Jaco Pastorious?
What's he 'diseased' with? Fretless bass flumps?
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Old 12-09-2006, 17:08
Arcas
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Originally Posted by Loubogroll
What's he 'diseased' with? Fretless bass flumps?


Ahem! I meant deceased.
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Old 12-09-2006, 17:38
GlenL
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Originally Posted by Inkblot
1. Fretless bass - anyone playing one deserves an Asbo
Gotta agree with that
Stand up Mr Mark King of Level 42 fame you knobhead !

Originally Posted by Arcas
Have you never heard the now sadly deceased Jaco Pastorious?
However, paradoxically, I agree with this as well

Not so much an instrument that should be banned but the way it is played ....
Bass players/guitarists who play their instrument at chest height
The lower strung your instrument = the cooler you look (see Ramones)

Oh ... and twin neck guitars. Usually favoured by poncey muso tossers
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Old 12-09-2006, 17:41
GlenL
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Can I also add giant gong at the back of ridiculously oversized drum kits ?
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Old 12-09-2006, 17:55
Inkblot
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Originally Posted by GlenL
Not so much an instrument that should be banned but the way it is played
Oh yes. Was watching a saxophonist yesterday, he played it in the knees-bent upsy-downsy style, whilst walking along like a bad Chuck Berry impersonator. The more he strutted, the more quackety his sax playing became. Horrible.
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Old 12-09-2006, 18:14
oblivian
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Bag pipes, quite the worst sound known to man.

The Recorder, sounds like somethings being strangled even when its being played well!!

The violin, nothing against a good fiddle in a Pogues song but hell is surely a loop of Nigel Kennedy playing Vivaldi.

That funny mouth thing that Peter Frampton used to use to make his guiter sound all cack!!
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Old 12-09-2006, 18:26
luvsnail
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Originally Posted by Mr Matthew
The Saxophone and the Yamaha DX7 synthesizer [that's the one Stock, Aitken & Wankerman used].
I think the DX7 has been used by a fair few more people than Stock, Aitken and Waterman. The DX7 features prominently on pretty much every pop record produced in the 80s, and it is still quite commonly used today. I even use it myself on occasion (although I usually find it easier to do so via Native Instruments's FM7 emulation).

It's not an inherently bad synthesiser. Like all other instruments it's all down to how you play it, although the DX7 is famous for practically requiring a PhD in computer science to program it decently.

Last edited by luvsnail : 12-09-2006 at 18:28.
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Old 12-09-2006, 19:12
WatfordKev
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Brian Eno is another eminent DX7 vet.
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Old 12-09-2006, 19:18
Arcas
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Originally Posted by oblivian
Bag pipes, quite the worst sound known to man.

The Recorder, sounds like somethings being strangled even when its being played well!!

The violin, nothing against a good fiddle in a Pogues song but hell is surely a loop of Nigel Kennedy playing Vivaldi.

That funny mouth thing that Peter Frampton used to use to make his guiter sound all cack!!
I quite like the bagpipes.

The recorder is almost always naff.

In the right hands, the violin is the most beautiful and sublime of all instruments. There is a lot more to it than The Four Seasons.

Frampton never needed anything except his fingers to make his guitar sound all cack.
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Old 13-09-2006, 13:19
surfsnake
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Originally Posted by GlenL
Gotta agree with that
Stand up Mr Mark King of Level 42 fame you knobhead !
Errrrr. Mark King doesn't play fretless bass - at least that's not what he's famous for... his "trademark" slapping sound is ONLY caused by the strings stiking the frets.

Originally Posted by GlenL
...The lower strung your instrument = the cooler you look (see Ramones)...
But the worse it is for your playing ability (also applies to having it too high).
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Old 13-09-2006, 13:23
surfsnake
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The recorder should be banned RIGHT NOW!

Forcing children to learn this dreadful screeching instrument of the devil, in school is responsible for putting-off many from learning anything musical. WHY WHY WHY?

We had a stock of them at school, and mine always seemed to have some chewimg gum stuck in the top. Yuck!
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