LMAO! Legendary stuff!
Strictly Come Eastenders
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THE LOCATION - Walford General Hospital. The Fowler family are gathered...
Martin: I just can't believe she gone. And I never got to say goodbye (starts to cry)
Sonia: Oh Martin, I know you're upset. It's a great shock to all of us. Wait, here come the doctor
Doctor: Mr Fowler
Martin (sniffing): Yes?
Doctor: I'm Doctor Foster. I've been trying to find the cause of your late mothers passing, and as yet I've drawn a blank. I wonder if you could tell me what your mother was doing immediately before she collapsed?
Martin: Well, we was all in the Vic, weren't we Son?
Sonia (looking guilty): Yeah.
Martin: So I dunno what she was doing. Watching telly probably.
Doctor: Television eh? What progamme would have been on before your mother left the house.
Martin: Some soap I guess...
Sonia: Oh, and Strictly Come Dancing. I've never watched it myself, but that Ruby was a big fan of it.
Doctor: Hmm...Strictly Come Dancing eh? I think that we might be onto something here. There have been reports of a spate of deaths connected to Strictly this Christmas. I each case the deceased has watched the show, and then left their house only to collapse in the snow. And quite strangely, it has only snowed where the victims lived, whereas the rest of the country remained remarkably snow free. There must be a connection...
Martin: Do you think so?
Doctor: Undoubtably. Now, who was dancing on this show?
Sonia (looking in TV Quick): Well, there was Matt Dawson off of Question of Sport, Mark Rampasomething, Zoe Ball, Colin Jackson, and Baby Spice.
Doctor: Is that it? Nobody else?
Sonia: No that's it. Why, did you expect Ruby Allen or someone to turn up on it???
Doctor: No, of course not, don't be silly. That would never happen in...ehem...real life. And I'm saying that without even knowing who Ruby Allen is. In my opinion, one of these dances must be fatal. But which one?
VOICEOVER
So...who is the deadly dancer? Did Matts Waltz leave Pauline wounded? Did Colins Quickstep cause her to croak. Was it Mark or Emma salsa or samba that sent her to the cemetary? Did Zoes rhumba lead to rigamortis? Or did Louisas jive...wait...no, there was nobody called Louisa in the competition as she does not exist in...ehem...real life. Neither does Vincent...whoever that is...
Tune in next time to find out the identity of the Ballroom Killer.
Last edited by Quizmike : 28-12-2006 at 15:06
Martin: I just can't believe she gone. And I never got to say goodbye (starts to cry)
Sonia: Oh Martin, I know you're upset. It's a great shock to all of us. Wait, here come the doctor
Doctor: Mr Fowler
Martin (sniffing): Yes?
Doctor: I'm Doctor Foster. I've been trying to find the cause of your late mothers passing, and as yet I've drawn a blank. I wonder if you could tell me what your mother was doing immediately before she collapsed?
Martin: Well, we was all in the Vic, weren't we Son?
Sonia (looking guilty): Yeah.
Martin: So I dunno what she was doing. Watching telly probably.
Doctor: Television eh? What progamme would have been on before your mother left the house.
Martin: Some soap I guess...
Sonia: Oh, and Strictly Come Dancing. I've never watched it myself, but that Ruby was a big fan of it.
Doctor: Hmm...Strictly Come Dancing eh? I think that we might be onto something here. There have been reports of a spate of deaths connected to Strictly this Christmas. I each case the deceased has watched the show, and then left their house only to collapse in the snow. And quite strangely, it has only snowed where the victims lived, whereas the rest of the country remained remarkably snow free. There must be a connection...
Martin: Do you think so?
Doctor: Undoubtably. Now, who was dancing on this show?
Sonia (looking in TV Quick): Well, there was Matt Dawson off of Question of Sport, Mark Rampasomething, Zoe Ball, Colin Jackson, and Baby Spice.
Doctor: Is that it? Nobody else?
Sonia: No that's it. Why, did you expect Ruby Allen or someone to turn up on it???
Doctor: No, of course not, don't be silly. That would never happen in...ehem...real life. And I'm saying that without even knowing who Ruby Allen is. In my opinion, one of these dances must be fatal. But which one?
VOICEOVER
So...who is the deadly dancer? Did Matts Waltz leave Pauline wounded? Did Colins Quickstep cause her to croak. Was it Mark or Emma salsa or samba that sent her to the cemetary? Did Zoes rhumba lead to rigamortis? Or did Louisas jive...wait...no, there was nobody called Louisa in the competition as she does not exist in...ehem...real life. Neither does Vincent...whoever that is...
Tune in next time to find out the identity of the Ballroom Killer.
Last edited by Quizmike : 28-12-2006 at 15:06
I'd never ventured into this thread til now but I'm glad I did! it's hilarious! haha! Mikey, you genius! 
Great stuff!
Great stuff!
First visit to this thread - what took me so long?! Its BRILLIANT and the fabulous 'Ruby and Vincente return to E/Enders' sketch would have helped me get over the Louisa/Vincent SCD departure so much more quickly. Fantastic stuff 
I'd suggested elsewhere that Vincente could be Carmella's dance teacher in The Sopranos, but that's much too dangerous for Signor Passione - we definitely need to keep him closer to home.
I'd suggested elsewhere that Vincente could be Carmella's dance teacher in The Sopranos, but that's much too dangerous for Signor Passione - we definitely need to keep him closer to home.
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