Digital Spy

Search Digital Spy
 

DS Forums

 
 

How to find out if a person was cremated or buried


Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-06-2007, 13:36
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531

Hi all. Just wondered if anybody could help. How would I find out whether a person was cremated or buried, and in either case whether there was a memorial stone/plaque/grave somewhere - and if so, where? I know where the funeral service was held - I attended it. Long story but it was my boyfriend's funeral and I am no longer in any contact with his family and so can't ask them.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Please sign in or register to remove this advertisement.
Old 06-06-2007, 13:40
nataliejenks
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 147
If you attened your own boyfriends funeral how do you not know if he was cremated or burried ??????
nataliejenks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:45
fannyadams
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,060
I was wondering the same thing, you must know the answer if you were there
fannyadams is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:46
PamelaL
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 59,789
Why on earth would you want to know anyway?
PamelaL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:47
fannyadams
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,060
I suppose if he was her boyfriend she might want to pay her respects
fannyadams is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:50
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
If you attened your own boyfriends funeral how do you not know if he was cremated or burried ??????

Long story and can't really get into it as it upsets me so much. His family turned against me after he died as they very wrongly and ignorantly blamed me for his death (it was suicide). Although the funeral was listed as a cremation I don't think that's what he wanted, that with the fact that the coffin was on a stand rather than in the curtains area makes me wonder if they buried him.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:54
prking
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Weston-super-Mare
Posts: 8,978
Perhaps Bigfeet attended a memorial service, so wouldn't know whether the b/f was interred or cremated.
Having said that, I would start with the death notice in the local paper as this will say.
prking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:57
PamelaL
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 59,789
Long story and can't really get into it as it upsets me so much. His family turned against me after he died as they very wrongly and ignorantly blamed me for his death (it was suicide). Although the funeral was listed as a cremation I don't think that's what he wanted, that with the fact that the coffin was on a stand rather than in the curtains area makes me wonder if they buried him.
If he was buried do you know what grave yard he would have been buried in? You should be able to find out from them.
PamelaL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 13:57
platelet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: GL51 0EX
Posts: 7,424
Where did the funeral take place? was it at a church, or a crematorium? If it was church based then that would explain the lack of curtains as it were.

If you can remember where it took place, they should be able to tell you what happened, and if there is any plaque etc.
platelet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:00
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
Where did the funeral take place? was it at a church, or a crematorium? If it was church based then that would explain the lack of curtains as it were.

If you can remember where it took place, they should be able to tell you what happened, and if there is any plaque etc.


It was at a crematorium, so the curtained area was there but not used. I do remember where it took place - it was only last year. Maybe I should phone there and ask, or writing may be easier.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:00
prking
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Weston-super-Mare
Posts: 8,978
But bigfeet, the service is different for a burial or cremation. And the order of service will say where the burial or cremation is???
Perhaps you were too upset to pay any notice on the day. It must have been difficulty for you.
prking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:01
nataliejenks
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 147
Long story and can't really get into it as it upsets me so much. His family turned against me after he died as they very wrongly and ignorantly blamed me for his death (it was suicide). Although the funeral was listed as a cremation I don't think that's what he wanted, that with the fact that the coffin was on a stand rather than in the curtains area makes me wonder if they buried him.
Im confused, If you attended the service you would know as at a cremation the coffin goes through the curtains and at a burial the coffin goes in the ground ????
nataliejenks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:02
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
If he was buried do you know what grave yard he would have been buried in? You should be able to find out from them.

I presume he would have been buried in the grounds of the crematorium. Maybe I will try to contact the place - just wondered if there was a central databse or something - probably not though.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:07
platelet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: GL51 0EX
Posts: 7,424
Crematoriums don't all work the same way.

The coffin could be lowered into the floor rather than through curtains. Or it could be left in place until everyone leaves, which avoids the heartache of seeing it disappear.

I would say that if it was at the crem, then he will most likely have been cremated, regardless of the fact that you didn't see him disappear. If a burial was to occur the coffin would have been carried from there to the grave site, and the mourners would have followed.

Contacting them to see if any form of rememberance was set up is your best bet.
platelet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:08
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
But bigfeet, the service is different for a burial or cremation. And the order of service will say where the burial or cremation is???
Perhaps you were too upset to pay any notice on the day. It must have been difficulty for you.
Was not a religous service (as b/f was not at all religous).
Was no order of service but local paper announcement said cremation.
Is an awful situation and so many bad things were done to me around this time by his family that I no longer trust/believe anything from them.


Im confused, If you attended the service you would know as at a cremation the coffin goes through the curtains and at a burial the coffin goes in the ground ????
But that's just it - coffin was left on a stand inside crematorium chapel when service was over and we all left, where normally it would go through curtains or be followed by burial.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:10
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
"Or it could be left in place until everyone leaves, which avoids the heartache of seeing it disappear."


That could make sense. Thanks.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:13
nataliejenks
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 147
Well I have never heard of that thats like half a service ?? The whole point to a funeral is to say your last good bye I didnt think that they cut funerals short to save heartache when there is heartache anyway ?? Or is it just me that thinks this ?
nataliejenks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:22
HenryGarten
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,267
The only purpose that a coffin is taken to a crematorium is to cremate it. I have known coffins been taken to a church for a service and then to a crematorium. I have ever heard of a coffin been taken to a crematorium and then taken for burial.

After all cremations is what crematoriums are for.
HenryGarten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 14:25
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
The only purpose that a coffin is taken to a crematorium is to cremate it. I have known coffins been taken to a church for a service and then to a crematorium. I have ever heard of a coffin been taken to a crematorium and then taken for burial.

After all cremations is what crematoriums are for.

There was no church service - just service at crematorium. This particular crematorium does cremations AND burials.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 15:19
nightstar
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London
Posts: 2,252
Bigfeet, you need to phone the crematorium with the name and date and they should be able to help you.

Good luck.
nightstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 15:28
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
Bigfeet, you need to phone the crematorium with the name and date and they should be able to help you.

Good luck.


Thank-you. I worry that any information may be witheld from me, but hope not - it is a public crematorium after all. There's only one way to find out I suppose...
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 15:40
fannyadams
Forum Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,060
Best of luck
fannyadams is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 16:16
browncube
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,246
But that's just it - coffin was left on a stand inside crematorium chapel when service was over and we all left, where normally it would go through curtains or be followed by burial.

This happen at my partners cremation service as it was a request from his father (to keep the curtains open).

and he was still cremated.

on another note as he lived no where near he was brought up I saw no point in having any plague/sign at the crematorium as I have now moved away and no longer visit the area.
browncube is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 16:41
PIDGAS
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,550
But that's just it - coffin was left on a stand inside crematorium chapel when service was over and we all left, where normally it would go through curtains or be followed by burial.
Not necessarily. My nearest crematorium leaves the coffin in the chapel until all the mourners have left. I prefer it like that too. If you can see the coffin 'going' it's more upsetting as you know what's about to happen.
PIDGAS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2007, 16:45
Bigfeet
Forum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 12,531
Not necessarily. My nearest crematorium leaves the coffin in the chapel until all the mourners have left. I prefer it like that too. If you can see the coffin 'going' it's more upsetting as you know what's about to happen.
I see what you're saying, but this is a local crematorium so have been there before for both burials and cremations, coffin has gone behind the curtains at cremations I've been to there before.
Bigfeet is offline   Reply With Quote
 
Reply



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

 
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:38.