Well, we all know it's only a program but there are rules that have been established over the years.....
If you accept that what we've seen before is "Canon" , I have no problem with Timelords being able to control their regenerations to some extent. Romana being able to fine tune her appearance is reasonable, especially as DT was able to grow a new hand.
The leap I have difficulty in making is the ability not to regenerate by choice.
The Doctor and other Timelords we have seen regenerating do so without it being a conscious decision. The Doctor has actually "Died" before, and then his body regenerated when his mind was effectively out of the equation, vis-a-vis McCoy to McGann.
I agree with the previous postee who said it was an automatic process and "willing" it not to happen would be the same as willing yourself not to heal a cut or grow hair!
The only time that there is no automatic regeneration is after the 13th body wears out and dies, a-la Edgeworth.