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Old 08-08-2007, 11:48
robinsbatman
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Am I the only one who believes that I should return something I've borrowed, & in the condition I got it? Yet another person hasn't returned a dvd they borrowed weeks ago, & is now giving me the "I'm sure I've got it somewhere" line, in other words they've probably lost/damaged it or are hoping I'll forget about it. I've also had people borrow books & cds, some of which I've either only got back after repeatedly asking for them (sometimes with damage - why do people turn the page corners on other people's books? ) or I've never seen the item again.

Is is really so old-fashioned to respect the loan & the lender enough to return something promptly & without damage?
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Old 08-08-2007, 11:51
Porcupine
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No, it isnt old fashioned. Im the same as you.

I lent some DVDs once to a guy. When i 'finally' got them back it looked like they had been used as coasters. They were so badly marked, and couldnt be played anymore.

Another guy came to our house and borrowed some DVDs. He took about 8. A few weeks later he came by with a carrier bag with the DVDs in. I opened the bag, and 2 of the DVDs weren't ours. I asked him about them, and he said "dont worry, keep them - i dont know whose they are". Now, we didnt know which DVDs of ours he took - so he probably gave ours away to someone.

Finally, i lent a two books to a friend. One of them came back covered in chocolate etc and with the spine snapped. She said it was her kid who did it. The other she 'lent' to her sister without my permission - and ive never seen it again since !!
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Old 08-08-2007, 11:52
dooberywotsit
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Makes my blood boil when people don't return my books. I know I've read them all, and I don't mind people borrowing them, but they're my books. I might want to read them again, or other people might be waiting to borrow them. It's really rude, and then they make you feel petty for asking for a book back every time you see them.

I've lost loads of books like that.
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Old 08-08-2007, 11:56
chris chow
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I lent a laptop and some software installation disks to someone at work who then changed jobs and i got no way of contacting him now to get them back!

I'm not going to lend anything to anyone again, lost a few things over the years now.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:02
dooberywotsit
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Money too. I've lent money to people and they "forget" all about it. Is it my place to keep reminding those people that they owe me? If I owe anyone money, I always pay them back as soon as possible, and make sure that they don't have to even ask me about it, right down to 10p for a coffee.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:32
indianwells
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"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" is a saying that has served me well.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:33
indianwells
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I lent a laptop and some software installation disks to someone at work who then changed jobs and i got no way of contacting him now to get them back!

I'm not going to lend anything to anyone again, lost a few things over the years now.
That's bloody theft, pure and simple!
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:38
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I think if you lend someone something, like money or anything and they don't give it back then you are legally entitled to retrieve goods equivelant to that amount from their property as long as you don't break in.

Just say they owe you 50. You can go into their garden and take their lawn mower as payment.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:50
chris chow
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Well it was an ancient laptop of no real value but i would have preferred it returned TBH.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:57
robinsbatman
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Thank goodness others feel the way I do about this! I just don't get it - I borrow a dvd/book/cd or whatever, it goes in a bag until I've finished with it, then it goes back to the owner with thanks for the loan. So many other people borrow things, put them down goodness knows where or lend them to other people with no apparent regard for the cost & loss to the lender if the item isn't returned in a reasonable or agreed time.

I totally agree with Porcupine about the lending to others without your permission. I'd never do it, & if someone did it to me & I didn't get the item back or I got it back damaged, I think the person who it was lent to should replace it. And when people do borrow something, why should you have to keep chasing them up to return it? It's not just the cost either - sometimes it's the loss of the item itself & the sentimental value that matters more, plus the sheer inconvenience & annoyance of no longer having it.

This last dvd is the final straw - it was a compilation of some performances by some of my favourite artists that took me several months to put together, & I doubt I'll ever be able to get it together again. Though it might come across as a bit tight, I've had enough now & I've decided not to lend any more things. If people want it , they can get it from someone else from now on or do without.
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:59
UKMikey
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This last dvd is the final straw - it was a compilation of concerts by my favourite bands that took me several months to put together, & I doubt I'll ever be able to get it together again.
My sympathies RB but I'd never lend out a personal compilation - those things are worth more to me than the retail DVDs.

Why not lend out a copy instead?
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Old 08-08-2007, 13:00
robinsbatman
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Money too. I've lent money to people and they "forget" all about it. Is it my place to keep reminding those people that they owe me? If I owe anyone money, I always pay them back as soon as possible, and make sure that they don't have to even ask me about it, right down to 10p for a coffee.
Same here. I hate borrowing in the first place, but when it comes to money & personal items, especially from friends or work colleagues, I always make sure they get them back in the condition I got them. I'd be really embarrassed if they had to keep asking me for it & then I couldn't find it.
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Old 08-08-2007, 13:04
robinsbatman
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My sympathies RB but I'd never lend out a personal compilation - those things are worth more to me than the retail DVDs.

Why not lend out a copy instead?
I totally agree. Unfortunately, the day they asked me for it I was dealing with about 10 things at once & I didn't have time to do a copy. They swore blind that I'd have it back by the following weekend, & I've never seen it since. In future I'll do an extra copy for myself as a backup in case something goes wrong with the original - I've learned my lesson the hard way on that score. They won't get anything from me ever again.
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Old 08-08-2007, 13:07
Scottnoodle
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I always make copies of my DVDs, and put them in plastic slipcases to watch etc. I keep my real DVD collection behind glass, haha.

Quite sad?
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Old 12-09-2007, 13:41
robinsbatman
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Someone else's thread on loaned dvds being returned damaged has reminded me to update this thread. I finally got mine back just before the August Bank Holiday - I realised that I could get the friend's e-mail address from ones that my friend had circulated to various people including her, so I suggested that I e-mail her myself about it to find out why there'd been such a delay. My friend didn't want me to do that (she knows I can be quite direct ) & said she'd contact her again herself - she must have done so, because I got it back the same night! I thanked her friend for returning it, but let her know (politely) that it wasn't a good idea to borrow things & then keep the owner waiting to get it back especially once they've asked for it, as it made it less likely she'd get to borrow something again in future - she went beetroot, but I felt she needed telling. It isn't damaged & I've done a backup copy now, but I won't be lending any out again. If someone wants to watch any of my dvds in future, they'll have to either come round to mine to do so, or do without.
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Old 12-09-2007, 13:47
Nicol(in)a
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Things people never give me back:

Basemett Jaxx album
4
Interview With A Vampire novel
The Big Lebowski DVD


The best is, the girl who has all this stuff had the cheeck to say no when i asked to borrow a Cd belonging to her, because she "didn't lend stuff out". Bare faced CHEEK!
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:48
Weigh-Man
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"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" is a saying that has served me well.
I was just going to say the same, you can't go wrong with that motto
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:50
Jason100
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I lent a cassette tape to my friend when in year 10 and that was in 2001, its now 2007 and i still haven't had it back!
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:50
robinsbatman
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Things people never give me back:

Basemett Jaxx album
4
Interview With A Vampire novel
The Big Lebowski DVD


The best is, the girl who has all this stuff had the cheeck to say no when i asked to borrow a Cd belonging to her, because she "didn't lend stuff out". Bare faced CHEEK!
That's often the way - I used to know a girl who would eat you out of house & home whenever she came round (OH used to think she had worms ), & always had a carrier bag with her ready to fill with things that she'd borrow, saying "Don't mind if I borrow this, do you? I'll bring it back in a few days". Of course, we wouldn't see the things for several weeks. One day we were out & I asked to borrow some money for a sandwich until we got back to her flat - she asked how much it was, & when I said 72p, she gave me exactly that. When we got back & I went to give her the 72p, she said "Oh, I thought you'd have rounded it up to at least 80p". This from the person who'd borrow & not return anything unless you nagged her about it. She never ate in our house again & never got to borrow anything again either.
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:51
Nicol(in)a
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The brass neck of some folk never ceases to amaze me. I feel like asking them if their mum ever taught them any manners!
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:54
maimou
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Things people never give me back:

Basemett Jaxx album
4
Interview With A Vampire novel
The Big Lebowski DVD


The best is, the girl who has all this stuff had the cheeck to say no when i asked to borrow a Cd belonging to her, because she "didn't lend stuff out". Bare faced CHEEK!
4 quid's probably not worth considering a loan, if I gave someone anything under a tenner I wouldn't expect it back, but possessions are a bit different.
What's even more annoying is when someone lends stuff of yours without asking you - my ex flatmate lent a mate of hers a film of mine some years ago when I was out and I've never seen that again, and my boyfriend lent a cd of mine to his mate and I just got it back last month after 3 years!
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:56
KaliMist
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I hate when people do that, people always borrow books from me and I never get them back or they lend them to other people who never give them back. If I lend someone a DVD they give it back to me but some people think books are more worthless to the owner than DVDs or CDs so never return them.... makes me mad!
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:57
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I have to admit this does annoy me somewhat. It happens to me often with books.

It wouldn't even annoy me so much if people didn't act like you're inconveniencing them and/or being petty when you ask for it back!

...and I mean ask for it back a fair few months later rather than allowing them just a few days grace.

It's almost like they're thinking: "What's the problem? You've already read it... what do you want it back for?"
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:57
Pinkster
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My friend has borrowed off me:

a Playstation 1 game
a Playstation 2 game (The Sims, which was new at the time)
a book on chavs

The playstation 1 game I literally loaned her years ago ("Oh it's somewhere in my wardrobe lol" was her reply when I asked about it a couple of weeks ago) and she has had the other two things for well over a year each. She loaned me a DVD a couple of months ago and was hounding me for it back after about a fortnight, despite having had three of my things for well over a year each!

We've since fallen out big time, so it doesn't look as though I'll be getting any of my stuff back anyway

EDIT: Come to think of it, I also loaned another DVD to my godfather a couple of years ago, which he's never mentioned since. The DVD is now so cheap in shops (being new when I loaned it to him), it would be cheaper and easier just to go and buy a new copy of it for myself! It's the principle of the thing though
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Old 12-09-2007, 15:59
RAINBOWGIRL22
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I'm sure I've posted on a similar thread before but I have a friend (a very good friend I might add) who is terrible about returning stuff.

Over the years I have lent her several outfits and now know when I lend them to her I wont see htem again It's like my very own version of sending my old stuff to the charity shop
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