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Asking someone out via a text message, a good idea?


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Old 02-09-2007, 17:26
Red Arrow
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Ok so here is the deal. I was out the other night with a friend and some of her mates. One of the girls that was out I quite liked, we made eye contact a few times and she seemed to laugh at my silly jokes But as normal I didn't have the courage to ask her out that night, as well as other various reasons.

The thing is, it could be a couple of months before I see her again since she doesn't go out often so really my only chance of asking her out is via a text message.

I've never asked out a girl with a text before so I don't know how they look upon it. The way I see it is she will be more honest with me via text since if she doesn't want to go out with me she can easily turn me down. Unlike if it were face to face it's a bit harder to say no to someone.

So really me question is for the girls out there; if a guy you don't really know were to ask you out via a text, how would you look upon it?
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Old 02-09-2007, 17:30
sootygirl
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Lol I asked my first boyfriend out by txt we were both too shy!

I dont see it as a bad thing, go for it!!!!
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Old 02-09-2007, 17:30
stvn758
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Just don't send a picture of your erect penis, they don't like that apparantly.
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Old 02-09-2007, 17:39
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i would just ask her,i think its sweet and flattering no matter how youre asked,and if you arent gonna see her for a while its not like you have any other choice is it!! keep us updated and let me know what she says!
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Old 02-09-2007, 17:40
Dr. Robotnik
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I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!
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Old 02-09-2007, 18:26
Red Arrow
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I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!
Yeah I did point out about number 2 in my post, but that can be a good thing in the long run too. It means she will be more honest so if she were to say no then I know where I stand. Wither if I were to ask her face to face she may say yes but doesn't really want to go out with me. If you get what I mean.

She is really shy herself, but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.

Will text her later tonight when my friend gets home so I can get her number, will update you all.
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Old 02-09-2007, 18:30
HollyC
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Yeah I did point out about number 2 in my post, but that can be a good thing in the long run too. It means she will be more honest so if she were to say no then I know where I stand. Wither if I were to ask her face to face she may say yes but doesn't really want to go out with me. If you get what I mean.

She is really shy herself, but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.

Will text her later tonight when my friend gets home so I can get her number, will update you all.
I think you should definitely go for it - good luck!
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Old 02-09-2007, 18:33
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Nothing wrong with it, texts are now part of everyday life. And they are also really good if you are shy. You must be prepared for the fact that in the interim she may have changed her mind, however - another thing about texts as opposed to asking face-to-face, they are easier to ignore and you are easier to delete. But hopefully not and all will be great.
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Old 02-09-2007, 18:39
DRY_SWEEPER
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I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!
most mobiles have delivery reports on them nowadays anyway
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Old 02-09-2007, 18:41
DRY_SWEEPER
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but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.
I wish you all the best
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Old 02-09-2007, 19:16
nicemms
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I have asked someone out by text, unfortunately they said no.

It can be a great way to ask someone out if your too nervous/shy but beware the wait for them to reply is agaonzing - turn on delivery reports on your mobile so you know when they have the text and hope they reply quick.

Good luck!
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Old 02-09-2007, 19:21
Y2Jamie
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I have asked someone out by text, unfortunately they said no.

It can be a great way to ask someone out if your too nervous/shy but beware the wait for them to reply is agaonzing - turn on delivery reports on your mobile so you know when they have the text and hope they reply quick.

Good luck!
Nothing worse than being single and waiting for a reply from a text from a member of the opposite sex, or I suppose same sex if that floats your boat
I would say, I enjoyed speaking to you last night and since we probably won't see each other for ages, do you want to go out for a drink or something?
Not too pushy and to the point.

Good luck if you do. Life's too short to think about no's when it comes to dating.
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Old 02-09-2007, 19:39
sarahcs
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I got asked out by text.
We're now married!
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Old 02-09-2007, 20:17
Red Arrow
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I would say, I enjoyed speaking to you last night and since we probably won't see each other for ages, do you want to go out for a drink or something?
Not too pushy and to the point.
Yeah that was basically what I'm going to say, but was going to add at the start something like "I hope you don't mind I got your number from X". I'm nervous right now just waiting on my friend to come home to get the number

Originally Posted by Y2Jamie
Good luck if you do. Life's too short to think about no's when it comes to dating.
Exactly, spent to much of my life thinking about stuff like this and never doing anything about it.
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Old 02-09-2007, 20:20
ResidentX
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I don't think I have ever asked someone out face to face. I think keeping it informal and cheeky is the best thing to do - very easy to achieve via text! I wouldn't go straight in for the kill though - maybe a bit of textual conversation first?
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Old 02-09-2007, 20:29
AcerBen
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Doing it by text is cowardly. Give her a call!
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Old 02-09-2007, 20:44
That Bloke
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Yeah that was basically what I'm going to say, but was going to add at the start something like "I hope you don't mind I got your number from X". I'm nervous right now just waiting on my friend to come home to get the number
Don't forget to put who you are as well! It could be a bit confusing to her otherwise

Good luck, and I don't think it is cowardly. As you said, you are also more likely to get an honest answer rather than an "on the spot and too embarrassed to say no" one.
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Old 02-09-2007, 20:58
nicemms
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Exactly, spent to much of my life thinking about stuff like this and never doing anything about it.[/quote]

Story of my life so far mate! I never seem to learn either. So just go for it!
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Old 02-09-2007, 21:05
Red Arrow
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Well text was sent about 20 min ago, got a delivery report instantly. My friend said she is not the type of person who replies straight away, so no idea when I will get a reply.

Hope she is not reading this
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Old 02-09-2007, 21:13
Y2Jamie
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Well text was sent about 20 min ago, got a delivery report instantly. My friend said she is not the type of person who replies straight away, so no idea when I will get a reply.

Hope she is not reading this
Well done.
Keep us posted!
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Old 02-09-2007, 21:29
gregrichards
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Personally I think it depends on your age if your 14 then its ok, but if your in your twenties or older I think it would be better to call.

I think a lot of women must like guys with confidence and having the guts to call shows that.

Its hard asking someone out, life would be a lot easier if people were direct and didn't play mind games.
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Old 02-09-2007, 23:17
DRY_SWEEPER
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any news
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Old 03-09-2007, 00:23
a_reyes
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It doesn't hurt but all i know is confidence is the most attractive quality on a guy, so while you're not doing yourself any harm asking her out by text, if you phoned her instead I honestly believe you'd increase your chances a great deal by showing her you're a confident guy.

I can get shy as a kitten with a girl I genuinely like, and i remember the first time I called a girl to ask her out she could probably hear my hear thumping. It's wasn't an enjoyable experience until she said yes, then I was on cloud 9!

Texting's the easy option and really depends on whether or not she likes you back, phoning her shows her you're the Alpha Male with confidence, something that can be irresistible to a girl.... I'd get a steel girder for a backbone and give her a call mate!
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Old 03-09-2007, 09:29
*Em*
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Personally I think it depends on your age if your 14 then its ok, but if your in your twenties or older I think it would be better to call.

I think a lot of women must like guys with confidence and having the guts to call shows that.
I'm not the shy type but if someone randomly asked me out over the phone I wouldn't be particularly happy - it could make for an awkward situation if I didn't want to go.

I would prefer it to be asked by a text message, it can give more time to think about a response and is more likely to be final rather than possibly saying yes because you were put on the spot and then letting them down later once you've properly thought about it.

OP, any news yet?
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Old 03-09-2007, 09:47
Purity
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I'm not the shy type but if someone randomly asked me out over the phone I wouldn't be particularly happy - it could make for an awkward situation if I didn't want to go.

I would prefer it to be asked by a text message, it can give more time to think about a response and is more likely to be final rather than possibly saying yes because you were put on the spot and then letting them down later once you've properly thought about it.

OP, any news yet?
I totally agree. I don't like awkward conversations, and if someone I didn't fancy called me to ask me out it could be very hard to say no. A text message could be subtle, give you time to think of a response, and ensure things don't get embarressing the next time you see each other (if the answer is no).

Good luck OP, anything yet?
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