Oh good Not the 2 bottles of wine saying that then

I liked

"Welcome to hells kitchen where the food critics are already describing it as closed from next monday"

Again, my thanks. I guffawed something rotten at that and then forgot it (I'm so crap at this ). Thanks for reminding me!

Would it be possible for anyone who watches and posts at the same time to put his quotes in this thread?



Please.

What does somage actually mean - anyone know ?

That is what we need really - I laugh at the time and promptly forget most of the things he's said.

This maybe? http://www.somage.com.au/

Me too.

I liked the one he said after they shuffled the teams " the girls in red, the boys in blue an dBrian in the middle.. marooned"

My favourite was :

"ahh there's Edwina Currie - former Tory MP, former Hells Kitchen Contestant, form an orderly queue with a baseball bat...."

That's so funny.

''If you'd like a copy of that recipe,just get a piece of paper and write 'ketchup and salmon' on it.

Well, obviously it's Somalian cheese. You're welcome...

(I wonder if it's possible at all to alter this topic title to put the Y into Deayton?)

cocoabutter - thanks for the thanks! Loved the red/blue/marooned one too, and somehow missed the Edwina one. I'm so glad One and Only started this topic because the jokes pass so fast, it's easy to giggle but forget them instantly, this way we can appreciate them properly - and catch up on some we miss.

Okay, I've been armed with a piece of paper, not for the possibly more logical purposes of writing down recipes (take meat/fish/treacle tart, add Worcester/tomato sauce, yell "service") or phone numbers (Brian was my favourite but I never did quite figure out the procedure - I must be due a visit from Mr D. to explain in more detail) but for recording wit and wisdom. Enjoy (again).

There was a goody in the first few shows. He'd just finished a segment about Anneka learning The First Rule of Television: Lie. The camera panned round as he said something approximating: "let's see who's in the restaurant. Ah, it's a real pleasure to have Neil and Christine Hamilton here. And Christine's looking particularly gorgeous tonight...!"

re: spicy food? "poor Adele couldn't have showed more disgust if Marco had given her tickets to a Jim Davidson concert."

re: competition rules: "But that goes without saying. If only."
re: call cost/lines closing?: "You have been warned. Most nights this week."

"If you're keeping score, do let us know what it is!"

"The restaurant which is open to the stars, or at least it will be Tuesday when they bulldoze it to the ground!"

"They can almost smell victory...as long as it smells burnt."

"At least they had the mature, calming influence of Marco to ease the pressure."

"Marco called in each of them on their own. No witnesses. A bit of a worry."

tonight's runner up: "A food critic eating and talking at the same time. Out of different orifices..."

and my winner tonight: "Who knows what effect Adele drawing love hearts will have on Marco, but he's already brought forward the date of his next bath!"

I'm still laughing at this whole topic. He's (and co-writers Rob and Mark and Dan) good.

What a great thread!

Thanks to all of you for gathering together the lines I have laughed at, and then not been able to remember properly

(No, my name is not Anneka! )

Joint favourites, in a three way tie, are the one about:

- the dishes being stacked and washed up celebrities putting them away - punctuate to taste

- the play on word about one team being red, one blue, and Brian 'marooned';

- the one about the food critics eating and drinking; ref 'orifices'

Seconded washboard.



Thank you squiggles for such a fabulous post.I'm in awe of your skills btw. ( )

Thanks for the reminders of some classics, Angus D is an essential part of the show for me. When/if Terry Wogan retires from Eurovision Song Contest I want AD to get the job.

Most can be seen again on the ITV site.

I loved it in the early shows, when he called Lee a "rebel without a hat." I choked. He's absolutely great at puncturing pompous eejits.

Great thread!

Ooh! (He is for me too, in case you hadn't guessed yet.) Hi mazey - I'm a huge Eurovision fan, I loathe Wogan, and love Angus - and yet this idea had never crossed my mind. Now that you've put it there, I'll never be able to forget it because it's just too good a thought. Wow. If *only* that could happen next year.

Apparently I would need a security update or something (to what I thought was a new-ish media player) to be able to view the ITV site clips. It's never simple, is it?

So "somage" = "ca marche" = "on order". Good to know, I'm sure it'll come in useful. One day. Possibly.

I wonder if Marco has actually seen the show - that Angus has basically been insulting him every night. I haven't really warmed to him at all (hence why I'm loving the digs!), but if so, he was very gracious yesterday, it was good to see them speaking. (Well, shouting, over the kitchen noise.)

From last night (please feel free to correct or expand on them):
"If you don't use your votes, you may as well be Communists."
"They arrived barely able to cook an egg, little knowing that in two weeks they'd barely be able to cook a lot of things."
"After two weeks learning at the feet of one of the world's greatest chefs, Brian can now make an omelette. In an hour."
"There was just one thing Marco had left to teach them." (it was shouting) "If you're thinking "cooking", that's just cynical and you should feel ashamed." Who, me?
"Our special offer: one free meal with every free meal."
"Kelly LeBrock as we've never seen her before. Talking."
"It's a typical Marco creation, so grab that ketchup now."
"You've used your left over lobster, you've just got to work out what to do with that half gallon of sauce you've made."
"...a gaggle of critics...and whatever the word is for footballers wives...a shopping spree?"
"They've been using language you don't understand, hopefully we've managed to bleep out most of it."
"Good to learn what they're banging on about - just in time for the series to end."
"Nick making the job look easy. Which, to be fair, it is. "Sorry there's a hair in your food. Sorry you haven't GOT any food. Sorry you have to leave!"
"There's more to Marco than shouting. As Adele showed, you need the bandanna."
"We're going to bulldoze the restaurant to the ground. Sadly, we're contractually obliged to let the celebrity diners out."
"D'you want to hear what Lionel Blair thought? No, neither did we. That didn't stop him."
"Some people are never satisfied. YOu give them a free dinner, with hair, and they complain."
"...nervously sweating like George Bush at a spelling bee."

winner of the night: "MPW - the only man who bites the hand he's feeding."

Thanks squiggles.

Brilliant collection.

Yeees, glad they explained that. I hadn't realised they were yelling it out every night as I only started watching it properly a few days ago.


Brilliant - well done on getting those all down! The ones in bold are my favourites.

Classic tonight

" Barry was going to chin Tim.........but which chin is anybodys guess"

I liked at the beginning of todays episode when he was saying barrys been through two rounds in the kitchen etc. ... even more ironic considering he's a boxer. lol

Hi squiggles,

Thanks for all those quotes.

I can play ITV clips and catch-ups I am using XP WMP, IE6. It will not work in my separate WMP window but it is fine on the ITV video window. Fire Fox needs add-ons.

Please, please, please can some of you wonderful people with decent memories record Angus's avalanche of quips from tonight? :begs:

The two that I more or less remember follow - but there were so many more. Please help!

- the celebrities will be released back into the community; Marco will be taken to Bodmin Moor and released back into the wild;

- (referring to Piers Morgan and Giles Coren): Two satisfied customers; two smug self-satisfied customers...

There was a cracker about Nick falling down, which I have forgotten.

and others...

http://www.itv.com/Entertainment/rea...n/default.html

Washboard, have you tried here? Lots of clips.

============

Thank you very much for that link, mazey!

My PC's too slow for it to work quickly, but I've taken a note of the URL for the next time I'm in the library (if it accepts it) or on my sister's PC