The Strictly Colditz Story.
The Sequel.
The Cast.
Camp Commandant Von Producer.
The Goons - Craig Von Deadwood, Marlene Lowmark, Len Goodreich, Bruno Ravioli.
Officer Brendan Reid.
Colonel Forsyth.
Anton Indifferent.
In the Second World War, the most persistent British escapees were placed in the high security establishment Colditz Castle in Bavaria. It was nicknamed Bavarian Britisch Colditz. The BBC.
The British senior officer Colonel Forsyth was summoned before the monacle wearing Commandant in the 5th year of the war.
'I must inform you Colonel zat ze rules haf changed. We haf complete power in zat no one escapes. Ze prisoners haf no say.'
Colonel Forsyth quickstepped across the barrack yard and met Craig Von Deadwood haranguing Officer Brendan Reid.
'Ah Colonel, I'm pleased to inform you zat ve vill haf no repeat of last year. Zer vill be no future episodes like Officer Peter McShmeichel. I and my fellow officers vill decide who gets out and who stays.'
'It won't be popular', said Colonel Forsyth mildly.
'Popular!' shrieked Craig Von Deadwood. 'Who cares about popular! Since ven were us goons popular? Vat happened last year vas a travesty! And you!' He pointed to Officer Brendan Reid. 'You trouble maker! You goon baiter! You vill not get away with it zis time! You were recaptured and any further insubordination vill be punished by listening to recordings of Marlene Lowmark!'
Craig Von Deadwood goosestepped off. Officer Brendan Reid and Colonel Forsyth stared after him.
'Think this could be a sticky wicket this year sir,' said Officer Brendan Reid.
Colonel Forsyth requested to see Camp Commandant Von Producer again. He was in his office with a picture of Simon Cowell on the wall.
'If you continue with this plan Commandant, you will cause serious trouble with the inmates', said Colonel Forsyth.
'I can handle that Colonel', said the Commandant. 'My fellow officers were extremely annoyed by last year's rebellion. Ve vill not tolerate it again.'
The 5th year intake held a secret meeting that night.
Officer Brendan Reid was making a German uniform.
'It looks a bit homemade', said Anton Indifferent.
'That's because it is you twit,' said Officer Brendan Reid.
'If you make a false passport for me', said Anton Indifferent, 'you just need a photo of Colonel Forsyth. He looks just like me, not that he likes to be reminded.'
Colonel Forsyth called the meeting to order. 'Our only hope', he said, 'is to try and get transferred to the American camp. I've heard it's much more relaxed. They even have a laugh with the goons, and they have every luxury including a proper swing band.'
'That's certainly not the case here,' said Anton Indifferent.
'What are the chances sir?', asked Officer Brendan Reid.
'Not good I'm afraid Reid', replied Colonel Forsyth. 'You know the BBC want to make us suffer.'
Anton Indifferent began to sing.
It's a long way to California
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to California
Where the dancing's great you know.
Goodbye British Strictly
Hello to Julianne
It's a long long way to California
But to get there is my plan.
THE END.
The Sequel.
The Cast.
Camp Commandant Von Producer.
The Goons - Craig Von Deadwood, Marlene Lowmark, Len Goodreich, Bruno Ravioli.
Officer Brendan Reid.
Colonel Forsyth.
Anton Indifferent.
In the Second World War, the most persistent British escapees were placed in the high security establishment Colditz Castle in Bavaria. It was nicknamed Bavarian Britisch Colditz. The BBC.
The British senior officer Colonel Forsyth was summoned before the monacle wearing Commandant in the 5th year of the war.
'I must inform you Colonel zat ze rules haf changed. We haf complete power in zat no one escapes. Ze prisoners haf no say.'
Colonel Forsyth quickstepped across the barrack yard and met Craig Von Deadwood haranguing Officer Brendan Reid.
'Ah Colonel, I'm pleased to inform you zat ve vill haf no repeat of last year. Zer vill be no future episodes like Officer Peter McShmeichel. I and my fellow officers vill decide who gets out and who stays.'
'It won't be popular', said Colonel Forsyth mildly.
'Popular!' shrieked Craig Von Deadwood. 'Who cares about popular! Since ven were us goons popular? Vat happened last year vas a travesty! And you!' He pointed to Officer Brendan Reid. 'You trouble maker! You goon baiter! You vill not get away with it zis time! You were recaptured and any further insubordination vill be punished by listening to recordings of Marlene Lowmark!'
Craig Von Deadwood goosestepped off. Officer Brendan Reid and Colonel Forsyth stared after him.
'Think this could be a sticky wicket this year sir,' said Officer Brendan Reid.
Colonel Forsyth requested to see Camp Commandant Von Producer again. He was in his office with a picture of Simon Cowell on the wall.
'If you continue with this plan Commandant, you will cause serious trouble with the inmates', said Colonel Forsyth.
'I can handle that Colonel', said the Commandant. 'My fellow officers were extremely annoyed by last year's rebellion. Ve vill not tolerate it again.'
The 5th year intake held a secret meeting that night.
Officer Brendan Reid was making a German uniform.
'It looks a bit homemade', said Anton Indifferent.
'That's because it is you twit,' said Officer Brendan Reid.
'If you make a false passport for me', said Anton Indifferent, 'you just need a photo of Colonel Forsyth. He looks just like me, not that he likes to be reminded.'
Colonel Forsyth called the meeting to order. 'Our only hope', he said, 'is to try and get transferred to the American camp. I've heard it's much more relaxed. They even have a laugh with the goons, and they have every luxury including a proper swing band.'
'That's certainly not the case here,' said Anton Indifferent.
'What are the chances sir?', asked Officer Brendan Reid.
'Not good I'm afraid Reid', replied Colonel Forsyth. 'You know the BBC want to make us suffer.'
Anton Indifferent began to sing.
It's a long way to California
It's a long way to go
It's a long way to California
Where the dancing's great you know.
Goodbye British Strictly
Hello to Julianne
It's a long long way to California
But to get there is my plan.
THE END.
