It looks like the BBC could be going on strike which is clearly bad news. So, citizens, we need to be ready. I am forming a people's army, along the lines of International Rescue, who can rush in at a moment's notice and keep everything running smoothly.

Please post your CV saying which job you would like to apply for and why you would be good at it. There are hundreds of jobs (presenters, cameras, sound, costumes, dressers, judges, security, cleaners... to name but a few) so get thinking.

Also, I would like to propose a name for our army.
PASO - People's Army for Strictly Order
or perhaps,
SAMBA - Strictly Amateur Mobilised British Army
Maybe you can think of something better?

Anyway, here's my CV.

Fern, aged 39, would like to apply for the post of Sound Lady. I would be excellent at running unannounced into a live studio, and would relish the opportunity to tuck microphones down men's trousers.

hehe

Here's my CV.

Peach - would like to apply to be the new "Hug & Kisses Better whilst trying to divulge some juicy gossip from the contestants" Lady (post currently held by Tess Daley).

I have plenty of hugs and kisses going and whilst distracting them with my soothing hugs I'll be sure to squeeze lots of gossip out!

Oh... and I can also dance the opening with the new 'Brucie' with style and flair! Maybe even be adventurous and change the choreography each week!!!

Wearing umpteen new sparkly dresses each week is NOT a problem

Edit: I'm voting for PASO

Fern,

Can I propose the

Slightly
Amateur
Liberation of
Strictly
Army?

Fern -- I'm voting for PASO as I can't get my tongue around the long version of the Samba.

I'd like to apply for the position of Floor Manager as I'd like to be able to tell Bruce to shut up and get on with it. No discernible qualifications for it but I can shout loud.

I'll be all the professional dancers PA embodied in one person, I'll generally look after them, make sure they look beautiful and are well supplied with tea and coffee.

x x x x

I'll take Arlene's judging seat.

Best view in the house AND I can keep my hormones in better check than she can AND I know when to stfu.

Can I book the celebrity acts?

Would have no budget for Westlife, but could probably stretch to The Wurzels, who I think could provide a moving background to a professional demonstration of the Argentine Tango.

I can be the new makeup girl - specialise in drawing pecs on professional male dancers.

Also voting for PASO.

Can also work in the wardrobe department (experience - watching LOADS of What Not to Wear), assisting dancers to change into their gear and emergency sewing.

Have we got the full team yet? What posts are still needed?

Mel G =-------- No Westlife? You've got my vote.

I'll be the camera lady and promise to take extra care not to make people seasick by running around like a loony making swirly whirly bits of film and I will definitely make sure to get all the footwork in shot.

As a staunch trade unionist I feel I must stand alongside my brothers and sisters and not cover for them whilst they are taking industrial action. Sorry guys!

As a staunch trade unionist I feel I must stand alongside my brothers and sisters and not cover for them whilst they are taking industrial action. Sorry guys!

Hope you're not too lonely out there in the cold.

I know, but I can't help it, it's the way I am.

Just can't live with the thought that poor Bill might get made redundant seeing as they are targeting the News team.

Nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe in.

Think Bill should be safe for now --it's more likely the journalist in the background and researchers that are likely to face the chop.

I know. No problem with the spirit of this thread either, I know it was meant in fun.

I'll take Brucies job and pay....I can fluff lines, tell bad jokes and never remember peoples names. I can dance two steps and if asked would wear a wig.

Count me in

I'm thinking you're underestimating the years of training it's taken Brucie to be able to fluff his lines so well!

Well I'd like to apply for Tess's job then. I'd look bloody awful in a dress (should probably shave my legs for that) but it'd be worth it as the pay's great for doing next to nothing as far as I can tell!

I'll take Craig's place. I can "darling" condescendingly just as well as he can. I don't agree with high marks handed out easily so I won't need to get his 10 paddle out either.

ooo....can i do something in costumes I'm sure i can help them all look stunning (and would much enjoy all the prettyful fabrics and gems!), also...will attempt not to dress any of them in wrapping paper!

Volunteers to be one of the stand-in backing singers and promises never to sing out of tune! Or alternatively one of the band...I can play kazoo really well if anyone wants to join me?

Will obligingly apply fake tan to certain male dancers for very little pay. Would that help?

As long as you go easy on the tanning as times are hard at the Beeb and we wouldn't want our boys to be tango'd!

Good point well made jive bunny! Out with the St. Tropez and in with the Superdrug special offers......might even get a BOGOF at this time of year!

(Of course the cheaper brands will require a more careful and thorough application to prevent streaking, but in a selfless way I'm prepared to put the hours in to get the job right).

I'm liking your attitude. You should definitely be hired!

Just to add, I'm guessing that you're only applying fake tan to areas that are gonna be on show!? It just sounds like you're suggesting this tanning is going to take a very long time.

In my quest to do a thorough job, it has occured that it might be worth tanning almost every inch of their bodies - just to be prepared in the unlikely event of a 'wardrobe malfunction'. I aspire to be a model employee, always wiling to go that extra mile......