Well it would only be worth all the extra effort if you were to collude with the costume department to make that wardrobe malfunction happen! It's just we wouldn't want all your hard work to go to waste now would we!?

Fair point. As we are only a temporary army, we have to accept that rapid-response costumes may be a bit, shall we say, insecure? No offence to the citizens who have volunteered for the role of wardrobe but if an experienced costumier can get it wrong with Lilia's strap, then one of us could cause a complete centre-fold display. Best to be tanned all-over.

Well one can only but hope!!

Sallyforth --- Your right the spirit of this thread is fun. Thanks to fern3 for starting it.

As potential floor manager I must say I'm looking forward to directing all you tanned people! Are you going for a specific shade or are you going to range from tinted to tropical (and dare I say, orange)?

Now this is what I call a thread.

We could save the Beeb millions and they would only have to lay off the walking wounded and the living dead....Arlene and Craig immediately spring to mind...LOL

Hang on a sec, I wasn't proposing that anyone is laid off. PASO is just a mobile army that can help out during a crisis. Perhaps we need a motto? Oooh, and a uniform?

Thanks for all the CVs, I am giving them careful consideration (such power!!). But we still need more. Where are the caterers? (an army marches on its stomach, don't forget). Currently nobody is on lighting so we're all in the dark, and someone needs to keep order outside with the queues of unruly fans. And I think we only have 2 judges.

Semi professional musician and professional dentist applies for dual role of trumpet player in the band and medical officer to massage the aching muscles of the dancers and give their teeth a shine!

Do I need to interview?

Judging by the amount of fake tan Mel G is planning on applying the dancers won't be in the dark they'll be glowing in the dark! Maybe we could save the Beeb a few pennies on lighting and have "Strictly Come Glow Dancing in the Dark"?

I'll do the make up or I can attempt to play the clarinet should the band need one.

Failing that I could put my teaching skills to use keeping the dancers/celebs in line - if I can deal with a five year olds tantrums bring it on

I'm a bit of an all-rounder so could be "Jack of all trades" if you like? I'd firstly like to sing with the new band as I'm good at amateur operatics. I've also done a lot of costume stuff at our society & make-up so could help out there.
I'd love to have a bash at Bruno's job cos I'm sure I could smarm & go OTT about most of the dancers & especially give out 9's to Matthew, Ian, Lilia, Ola & Flavia .
I could even stand in for Tess, fluttering my eyelashes & asking inane questions but please don't ask me to wear her baco-foil effort. (It would probably fit but look like a long dress on me )

Having given it some thought I’m not sure I’d be prepared to shave my legs every week to replace Tess. I’m also not prepared to wear baco-foil. As you’ve already got another applicant for her role, I’ll volunteer to keep all the unruly fans in check and also Billy Zane (for when Brendan finally oversteps the mark with Kelly!!).

Think I’ll need a little bulking up for this role. Time to go pump some iron and/or eat some pies!

When I volunteered for Bruces job, no one said anything about dancing with a turkey wraped up in baco foil or having to shave my partners legs.......

P.S. The guys in our local bikers club would like to help out in make up and costume if there is an opening
Last edited by Poison_Feng : 18-10-2007 at 19:15

Why d'you think Bruce gets paid soooooo much!? It's a tough job but someone's got to do it!

No thats my job as I`am a Dentist as well . Love photograghy so could try my hand at being a cameraman...... and I promise not to run around in circles.

You're a dentist too?? Cool, where are you based? I must admit I may be better off in the band as I only treat children and I'm not sure some of the pros would particularly want a sticker on their fancy outfits!!!

I will volunteer to be James' assistant/runner for the evening

I know someone who does a very good impression of Capt Alberto Bertorelli (Allo Allo) and if needed he would be happy to take Bruno's place on the judges panel

I can do the spotlight for the results. Of course I can't guarantee that I'll turn it off if someone I don't like goes through. I'll just leave it on and make them sweat.

I'll dress Ian and Matt (Cutler)! And apply their fake tan! I'll wax them too!! I have no qualifications but I'm devoted and enthusiastic, and do know how to make them look very, very hot! PICK ME!! PLEEEEEEAAASE!!!

I could also play guitar in the band.

Ferny! Love the sound of this!!

Can I offer my chef, the delectable JM and moi's services as a soup kitchen.

Now you girly's know that you will need to keep your strength up as this could be a long strike.

We can cope with all pernickerty diet fads and do a very interesting line of fillings for Jacket Spuds!

Will roll out the Winnebego and be ready in a day or two.

Got any NHS openings???

LOL

since I know a bit of horse massage and could tranfer over LOL Ill do the massagess for the achy joints LOL

Liz

Another application for Tess Daly's job here.

I would promise not to keep looking archly at the camera in an effort to pretend I have a sense of humour, not to constantly purse my lips and wink, not attempt to patronise bigger celebrities than me and thus save lots of viewers the trouble of recording Strictly so that they can fast forward my bits...

I would also make friends with the wardrobe ladies so that they didn't revenge themselves on me by sending me out in joke dresses

If I don't get Tess's job, I will selflessly volunteer to hold all the fake tan bottles...

I'd like to volunteer for cleaning services - after all, it wouldn't do for one of the celebs (or pros), to sit on a dirty sofa, or dance on a rubbish-strewn floor, would it? I'm very good with a mop and bucket and as for my feather duster ... it could come in very handy for getting those flecks of dandruff or dust from the dancers' shoulders ...

I'm very serious about my cleaning (almost anal, in fact!) so prepare to see me whizzing around at almost any given opportunity anywhere in the studio, ensuring that dust and grime and rubbish is cleaned away .... and if that means I have to stay near the dancers to keep them away from all that nasty stuff, then that's a sacrifice I am prepared to make.

So it's normal then.

I mean some SCDS I've seen look more like a car park than a theatrical event.

I can cook, or I can do the bar afterwards and commiserate/celebrate with the celebs while I serve them their drinks.