How about a limerick thread? I'll start off with Claudia.

There's a quirky young lady called Claud
Who on It Takes Two's highly scored.
We loved her long fringed,
With her lips paley tinged,
But it seems with that look she's now bored.

So she's now wearing 'Farrah' type flicks
As her PFM shoes she high kicks
While 'dancing 'with Len
Who Masters her when
She muddles her quick quick slow quicks.

We love how she goes crashing on -
In a good way - she cannot go wrong.
Claud, you're soooo sweeeet
You would be hard to beat
You're a ten - we award you the gong.



It's a start!

I like to see Anton get cross
And show us that he is the boss
He may be 'ambidextri' (?)
Who cares, he is sexy!
But that would be poor Erin's loss.

Limerick writing is harder than I thought but here's my attempt!

There once was a dancer called Kate
Whose tango made the judges irate
But her partner Anton
Refused to be outdone
And their samba was brilliantly great

This is my lame attempt.... you're right, it is hard!

One of the best is called Tish,
Partner Darren's a bit of a dish,
Looking good with a pout,
The audience will shout:
Lilia, you better watch out!

& another...

Little Welsh boy Gethin,
Has looks that'll send you to Heaven,
Camilla's so lucky,
But forget the nooky,
He's mine twenty-four-seven.

0=]

I'm getting into this now. The limericks may not be great but we're having a real laugh thinking them up!


Each weekend I’m glued to my telly
To watch dancing by pretty young Kelly
She twists and she turns
And how Brendan yearns
But her love is an actor called Billy


Ian Waite is a dancer with flair
James Jordan has talent to spare
Vincent is funny
Matt C is a honey
And Brendan's Paso has me gasping for air!

Last one for today, I promise!

Kenny Logan is trying to win
By showing his fans lots of skin
The Beeb thinks it wrong
And bought him a thong
But I keep thinking about what might have been

There's a rather strict lady Arlene
Who those Hot Gossip days has long seen
But she's still lewdly lusting
At manly hips thrusting
Is she Hot Hot or is she Has-been?

Hey winenroses, always a pleasure . You've captured the lovely Claudia very nicely. (Don't forget to release her tomorrow or there'll be no show. )

I seem to be endangering my position on these forums at the moment, so I thought I'd stick a quick limerick in now, just in case I get disappeared:

With no legs or rhythm, poor Kate
Might seem to have much on her plate
She said: 'Hey! I can't dance!'
...and did therefore advance
Other egos have had to deflate

There's a lovely, young man called Jones
Whose looks leave the girls shivering to their bones
With a sexy smile from his lips
He shows off his hips
But he still has to listen to the judges groans.

(Its my first attempt)

There once was an actor called Matt,
Who's first dance was particularly flat,
but each week he's improving,
his hips are now moving,
and he's king of the floor every Sat

Sat meaning Saturday!

Hi Trumbles - hope you stick around, unlike Kate!

Great limericks everyone!

cat balou, x_malibubabe, littlemadangel, bean_of_sb, keeeep Limericking. Great stuff, thanks for your contributions, and you're all my favourites.

That Sottish young man called Ken
Each night dreamed of getting a ten
So he danced with his kilt
Flying up to the hilt
Showing why he's the best of the men!

There once was a Judge who gave ten
But he never will ever again
As Arlene has sworn
That his guts will be torn
If he ever rates Brendan again!

It's pathetic I know.. but I'm still thinking (Love the others btw!)

The judges were not looking happy
Their faces as sour as a nappy
Gaby and Penny!
Who knew? Well not Kenny -
Now they're all spinning round in a flappy!

The judges had given another tongue lash
For dancing a samba like a car crash
Anton and Kate
Should've have met their fate
But frustratingly rescued, making SCD a hash!!

My attempts

There once was a girl called Ola
Who went round with a pink feather boa
The judges made her cry
Because her husband had to say bye
That poor little girl called Ola

There once was a judge called Arlene
Who claimed to be the best we'd seen
She'd scream and shout
And make an awful pout
Oh how could we forget Arlene

After Saturday's exit our Gabby
Has reason to be more than crabby
Ken should hide every knife
Lest it be that his wife
Should suddenly come over stabby

(I like Gabby, in case this gives the wrong impression. I just like lazy rhymes even more.)


One of the judges, named Craig
Has views which rarely are vague
If you cannot dance
There is ev-e-ry chance
You'll enjoy them as much as the plague.

There once was a cameraman called Mick
Who enjoyed his Saturday trick
He twizzled and twirled
He whizzed and he whirled
And made all the audience sick

They hired four experts to judge

They hired four experts to judge
Though now it's turned into a fudge
We've grumbled and moaned
We've e-mailed and phoned
But sadly the Beeb just won't budge

We know the results show's not live
Viewing figures have taken a dive
To improve the mood
They'll dance in the nude
Can't wait for the samba and jive!

Len and Craig have gone stark raving mad
They told the viewers that we have been bad
But we pay to vote
So they should take note
We get to choose who we like and we’re glad

I'm really enjoying this thread
And all of the limericks I've read
Let's hope that Kenny
Shows all for a tenny
From Bruno and team Judges Dread.

I'd love to see him shake his stuff
With his kilt barely skirting his duff
If this show's a 'farce'
Then let's have some **** and a*se
Craig and Marlene love a bit of old rough.*



*As a source close to this FM, Slurs 'r Us, revealed exclusively in the last split second.