Could this thread please stop now as there are some people who believe it!

The winner will be decided entirely on a public vote but the judges will be scoring each dance.

Some people believed the "11 paddles" story - what, should we stop trying to be humourous at all now?

Are people really that gulliable???

read some of the replies. YES THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!

Most posters on here are too busy slagging off the competitors to have time to wonder whether something is serious or not.

In the meantime I'm not sure I agree with forcing the competitors wear a one-piece swimsuit and make a speech about world piece as part of the dance-off. As pleasant as Matt's body is, I can't help feeling Alesha will have an unfair advantage.

...don't forget the bit about wanting to work with children

perhaps Arlene and Craig will do a tribute to Hanna and Victor - Craig TOPLESS and Arlene in a VELVET CROTCH-SKIMMING LEOTARD

now there's something to put you off your dinner

What will actually happen is that when they have finished all their dances they will swap and have to dance the best of each-others dance! - Alesha and Matt will be fine - they'll WING IT!! Matt's got no chance, I can't wait to see if he actually remembers his OWN five dances!

No chance. Face it - if YOU were being accompanied by Bruno on the violin with Craig singing My Heart Will Go On, how much of a dance would you remember?!

I wouldn't let Bruno pluck my strings - no way!

what I'd really like to see is Alesha and Flavia doing a sizzling AT and Matt and Matt doing a sensual rumba (sorry, roooomba)

It could be worse, it could be Arlene topless and Craig in a velvet crotch-skimming leotard

at least she'd have somewhere to hold her pencils

sorry

On the other hand.....

It's about time some humour was brought back into the forum. I wish it was more contagious, we could send a "carrier" over to the X Factor forum to try and spread the infection

No, that's fair. It's only right that we get to know the competitors - I mean, let's face it, they've all kept very quiet so far, we hardly know who they are yet. And I think it's unfair to stereotype their heatfelt moving speeches and their costume demonstration in that way.

But I'll admit, I'm surprised that they've included the "mud wrestle-off" again this year, that does seem a little exploitative.

Ok i was wrong!!!!!

Carry on the good work on this thread guys.

We already have a thread for lazy journalists, we don't need another...

Do you know what, that'd be worth the licence fee alone.

I can imagine Craig and Arlene getting excited but Len will be going "Stop mucking about with all this mud"

"Call me old-fashioned but I like a traditional mud wrestle, not all this fancy-shmancy body painting malarkey"

you came out and you mud-wrestled like a BLOKE and for that I'm going to give you a 9

Pmsl!!!!

LOL

9?!?

Come on, I mean I know this isn't a serious thread, but Len giving a 9? That's even more unbelievable. It's be a 10, obviously...

I thought this forum had taste now it's descending to arrse NAAFI levels and it don't come any lower than that.