Yes, even if you can trust your partner not to be physically unfaithful, the emotional involvement on SCD is almost a prerequisite of a successful partnership - and one that I would find very hard to deal with.

And to explore this further... Is there a difference between how men and women view this? Are men more bothered by the physical intimacy, and women by the emotional intimacy?

Oooh, that's an interesting one. Being very generic, that would probably appear on the surface to be how things are likely to be, but is that the case for real?

For me it is certainly on the right lines. To begin with, my dancing partnership was a purely emotional thing for me - I needed to feel safe with the man whose company I was in a lot (usually alone in a hall behind a locked door, too - with assault in my past, this alone was a really difficult thing to get beyond to begin with), I needed to feel respect for his skills, and I needed to be able to relax and have a laugh with him as well as working hard. Once all these emotions really started to fire up over the course of several weeks, it was THEN that I started to find him physically attractive too, and started to notice much more about what moves we were doing, and the feel of his body against mine, etc.

For him, I suspect it was the other way around - he fell hook, line and sinker the first time he watched me move and took me into hold, and the emotional closeness began to come from the physical comfort and ease that we shared.

If you look at a lot of the male celebs on SCD, they were all the ones that were perturbed about touching their dance partner physically to start with, weren't they? Yet the female celebs seemed a lot less perturbed by the physical closeness ... perhaps this does demonstrate that (generally) men find the physical closeness more of an act of betrayal of any external relationship than the women do ...?

(I'm waffling, and I haven't even had a drink - sorry! I just find the difference between men and women's psyches to be completely fascinating ... )

I think this is a fair comment.

From a male perspective, I would have thought concern over the physical intimacy comes first.

Is it because the spouse left out feels excluded by a new intimacy and understanding reached after hours in a close hold? If the spouse knows every necessary inch of the journey having gone on it herself/himself, the spouse would not feel left out?

A method actor needs to feel genuine emotion to portray a role. No doubt after the run he can switch off the emotion. Presumably his wife would understand it as a necessary part of the job. As for physical intimacy, gynaecologists have wives too.

I suppose the people who could comment on this would be the Logans and the Jordans

this is an interesting thread

Thanks for the opinions Rumplebums i know what you mean

If I had a partner in the first place it'd be a miracle...not to mention them getting to dance on Strictly. But if this were to happen I'm sure I'd find a way to cope somehow......and the perks would far outweigh any anxiety. Besides, being of the gay...any potential partner of mine would have to dance with a girl, so no scope for jealousy there!!

Is there less of a threat if both partners are dancing because each will feel more included in what the other is doing?

I suppose if they don't watch the "edited for impact" TV footage, there is less likelihood of jealousy...

Has anyone else noticed some of the male partners showing some signs of jealousy? I thought I detected it in Rod Stewart and Billy Zane this year. Also, when Zoe danced with Ian, Craig made a comment about what a great couple they were and how beautiful their kids would be and I remember that jarring slightly.

I don't remember any of the male celebrities' partners showing the same insecurities or turning up during training and getting protective and proprietorial.

I rather wondered about Bill Turnbull's wife

This would be the dance studio equivalent of wife-swapping in the bedroom, an activity which is frequently halted when some participant has too much fun, which you might have thought was the objective in the first place.

(To the Forum Moderator: please, it's only what I read.)

I remember that too but it never struck me that she felt threatened in any way, it all seemed too good humored. I recall Karen putting Bill's hands on her bum and then asking his wife if it was ok. She laughed and said 'That's fine.'

I also remember Karen and Bill bickering over something or other and then Karen looked over Bill's shoulder, straight into the camera, and whispered 'We're having a domestic.' I never picked up on any awkwardness whereas, with Rod and Billy Zane in particular, I rather felt that in the early days they juuuuuussst wanted to check up on their partners.

I think mrkittles would find it more of a problem than I would. I'm a very tactile erson and touch people a lt anyway whereas he likes to keep people a good 2ft away nd can get grumpy if he thinks I'm invading hs space and wevemarried 3 and a half year

eta Rod - don't you think smeone might have mentioned Ian was gay to him?

IAN'S GAY?????!!!!!

Gay as a picnic basket!

I remembered seeing one of the ITTs where Rod and Penny were interviewed and Rod seemed to like Ian and called him a nice boy (which he quickly corrected - after all Rod IS rather long in tooth)...

I would be terrible if it was my husband. He however would be fine! I think its a case of self confidence and trust. The reason my husband would never think that I could prefer anyone else. This is because his ego has its own galaxy and that he knows I love him. I am a bit more insecure and even though I trust him I am a cynic/pessamist and he is definetely a half full type.

The worst one for this was Lilia with Darren in series 2. (Darren was will Jill Halfpenny and Lilia with Aled Jones) It was their first series and I was never sure if it was just her competitive nature or if she felt threatened as a wife.

[quote=grockleprincess;20586438]I would be terrible if it was my husband. He however would be fine! I think its a case of self confidence and trust. The reason my husband would never think that I could prefer anyone else. This is because his ego has its own galaxy and that he knows I love him. I am a bit more insecure and even though I trust him I am a cynic/pessamist and he is definetely a half full type.

The worst one for this was Lilia with Darren in series 2. (Darren was will Jill Halfpenny and Lilia with Aled Jones) It was their first series and I was never sure if it was just her competitive nature or if she felt threatened as a wife.[/QUOTE]

you mean you feel Lilia felt threatened by Jill??

I don't think I ever saw that with Lilia and Darren - I've always thought they seemed to have a brilliant relationship - in every interview they give they seem to have a great ability to separate the personal from the professional & I don't think I've ever seen anything where they've appeared anything less than proud of what the other has achieved - when Darren won with Jill, Lilia ran right up to give him a hug, and ditto for Darren when Lilia won with Darren Gough.

I'd be very interested to know what you mean by that though!

I reckon I'd be ok...unless my boyfriend's partner managed to turn him...that would suck for me...or if he got near some of the male pros...actually, it would probably be me chasing after all the male pros while he was stuck in the training room with his female partner. I think I could deal with that!

hmm it all comes down to trust. If i could trust them 100% then there would be no problem but i am not a very trustworthy person straight off the bat so it would also depend on the length of our relationship.

I think they are in an unnatural, very intense situation and some cross the line - others don't. I also think this is why a number of actors seem to have relationships that only last until the next film!

For me, I think to give up an existing relationship for this transient infatuation is a bit naive (to be kind) and downright stupid (if being blunt). When the celebrity goes back to the day job and the professional is having to be away all the time I am sure the gloss wears off fairly rapidly.

I've read articles where Brendan Cole has bitterly regretted his split with Camilla, and I am sure similar will be written about the Vincent/Flavia situation. Because sadly, when trust is lost it can rarely be recovered.

Not sure exactly how to put this but i think if a celeb /professional can suspend normality while they are training /dancing and then go home to whoever , this is the healthiest way to do things .

I remember an interview with Bill Turnbull on ITT during series 3 along the lines of " You can do things in training which you may be arrested for in public and you are very close . You can feel the endorphins .
But then you go home . no strings , no problems and then you do it all again tomorrow" ( this is just from memory)

This was I believe his way of saying that dancing is intimate , but you should separate it from your real life

What people should do and do do (?) aren't necessarily the same thing. Perhaps it takes someone of Bill's experience, or people in very strong relationships to do this? (Or was Bill just saying what he thought he ought to say?!)

And there's still the problem of the person being left at home feeling jealous. I suppose a considerate partner would make doubly sure you don't feel left out...

I can see your point.

I don't think he was saying it as in you " should do this"

But saying what worked for him.

It probably helped that he was older and as you say in a strong relationship

My 2 pence worth.

I did some ballroom classes about this time last year- mainly the foxtrot and the quickstep, which I really enjoyed.

I'm not in a relationship currently or at the time so no one to feel of me or the person I was dancing with but I did find it rather awkward and uncomfortable dancing so close to someone I didn't know. As the class was mainly made up of females, and guys there were with their partners/ wives etc, it meant I usually had to dance with another woman, and majority of the time I danced with a lady about 30 years older than me, who was lovely and married, but she too without having to say it also felt uncomfortable dancing so close to someone she wasn't familiar with, either casually, as a friend, or intimate with.

And as it was a foxtrot we didn't even have to touch someone else's bottom! I'm also not one of lives huggers, so I did find it quite difficult.

But the thing is after each class I felt the "endorphins" and felt on a good high as dancing seems to really give you a buzz and you are learning something new but it's fun.

So I can understand how some of the celebs eg Bill and Diarmuid felt about dancing so close to someone they weren't familiar with, especially as they are in long term and happy relationships. For me it's like a buzz when Ireland scores a winning goal or something- you get this high but while you feel great it doesn't mean that you go off and do something daft wither- you just feel good about yourself.

As to whether I'd feel jealous if my partner were on SCD- no I shouldn't see why I would. We all know what the show is about and that some dances require close contact and if you trust your partner then there shouldn't be a problem.