Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

Did he really say that???!!!

we've all heard thigs wrong though ad made stupid replies bless him

one of my favs is from george bush "i believe that more and more of our imports are coming from abroad"

"And Ernie Els, like Calum Best on a Friday night bar crawl, is getting among the birdies early doors."
Lovely stuff from Sam Lyon on the BBC's live Golf Open coverage.

from the bbc website

Highly amusing thread, with some great contributions so far, but I suspect it'll be a goner soon for being very much off topic for the SCD forum.

George W Bush:

“You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

“The thing that's wrong with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur”

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”

“Most imports are from outside of the country”

“I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.”

“In my sentences I go where no man has gone before.”

One of my all time favourite quotes


You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill, on being told that Clement Atlee was a modest fellow.

"Well, he has plenty to be modest about!"

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
-- Dan Spencer

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: If you were my husband, I'd give you poison.

Winston Churchill to Lady Astor: If I were your husband, I'd drink it!!

Also - the same pair!!!

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: Mr Churchill, you're drunk!!!

Winston Churchill to Lady Astor: Drunk? Yes Madam, and you're ugly....... but in the morning, I'll be sober!!

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
Oscar Wilde


I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.
Oscar Wilde

Clement Atlee: "Winston, lend me tuppence, I need to telephone a friend."

Winston Churchill: "Here's fourpence, ring them all."

Some brilliant quotes:

Pete Burns: "I'm not the boy next door. If you want the boy next door, f***ing go next door!

Noel Fielding: (After a heckler asked him how he put his spray-on trousers on.) "How do I put my trousers on? Is hat a trick question? I put them in the fireplace and come down the chimney.

(On top gear when they crossed the arctic: Jeremy Clarkson drove away whilst James May was still on the toilet, which was attatched to the back of the car."
James May: "Clarkson, you unsufferable oaf! I'm still on the throne!

(After being pestered by Stacey and then accused of taking advantage of her by Bradley)
Jake Moon in Eastenders: I've been molested by a teenybopper and attcked by the Ginger Ninja- I only came out for a pint!

(Also from Eastenders...)

Peggy: Am I short?
Honey: No... you're dinky!

(On Top Gear after a motorway had been closed so that people could clear debris after an accident.)
Jeremy Clarkson: They closed the whole motorway so they could go around picking things up! Will we have to sit around in traffic jams waiting for these Wombles?

(Next two from the IT crowd)
Richmond: You know, when you laugh, I can see the shape of your skull. You have a beautiful skull.

Woman: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what you said.
Moss: I said, do you think you'd die, if you drank wee?
Richmond: I don't know, but it's a bloody good question. Here's a question; Who here would eat a spider? I would!

(And from the Mighty Boosh)

Vince: Hey, what's this?!
Naboo: Leave that alone. This is hard core. You don't want to go messing with the occult.
Vince: I thought it was good for you?
Naboo: What?
Vince: You know, good for your digestive system...
Naboo: That's Yakult!