As long as we're all obviously making shit up (thanx cam fans) - i say lets go hog wild 
OMG - Feed B NOw - CaMORON is fellating a chicken!!!!!
Oh no - hes now broken off a chair leg, taped a corkscrew to the end and is now proceeding to amputate Nush's grazed foot @ the neck
Quote:
“Originally posted by stuartfanning
Grow up. I don't expect you even know what the word means. ”
“Originally posted by stuartfanning
Grow up. I don't expect you even know what the word means. ”
Grow up is a pitful response that is much hated on these boards.
Breaking News, to rapturous applause Mr Blair addresses congress to reveal that the weapons of mass destruction have now been found in the UK, having been smuggled into the country by BB4 contestant on his return from South Africa. He described the luggage as a 'diplomatic douche bag'.
Following the representations of leading theological expert, BB4's Camoron, the general synod have elected to cancel Christmas - cos people get drunk and hurt themselves.
The are also currently in liason with the Vatican, exploring the propsed phasing out of the crucifix, and introduction of the noose.
The are also currently in liason with the Vatican, exploring the propsed phasing out of the crucifix, and introduction of the noose.
As an addendum to earlier news, the details of the marking campain to inform the UK public that xmas is canx, masterminded by Endemol UK , have been leaked.
BB4 winner Cam, is seen to approch santa claus from behind, and in a short stabbing motion with an open hand, hes is seen to crush the old duffers windpipe.
When asked to comment, Ca-moron stated, that he had been studying the techniques under a sensei for 3 months now, and has found his methods to be much more efficient, than sitting astride his victin and smothering them with a pillow.
BB4 winner Cam, is seen to approch santa claus from behind, and in a short stabbing motion with an open hand, hes is seen to crush the old duffers windpipe.
When asked to comment, Ca-moron stated, that he had been studying the techniques under a sensei for 3 months now, and has found his methods to be much more efficient, than sitting astride his victin and smothering them with a pillow.
Following her forced eviction, by medieval catapault constructed from Scotts mucus hardend t-shirts following a design introducted to the remaining housemates by Jon.
Steph has been descovered terrorising the beast of Bodmin moor. Game keepers @ http://www.pixieland.co.uk/system/index.html and conservationists hope to capture her soon to restore tourist trade. A spokeman said, 'It's just not good for the beasts image to have him cowering in the bedroom and having to be comforted and supported by Jon'. When approached for comment the beast could only be heard to repeatedly mumble , 'it's not fekin fair'
Steph has been descovered terrorising the beast of Bodmin moor. Game keepers @ http://www.pixieland.co.uk/system/index.html and conservationists hope to capture her soon to restore tourist trade. A spokeman said, 'It's just not good for the beasts image to have him cowering in the bedroom and having to be comforted and supported by Jon'. When approached for comment the beast could only be heard to repeatedly mumble , 'it's not fekin fair'
One more 
Shocking breakthrough in penile improvement surgury.
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Ray buys a hat.
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A really, really big one, he looks like cousin it.
Shocking breakthrough in penile improvement surgury.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
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Ray buys a hat.
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.
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A really, really big one, he looks like cousin it.
Following on from Jon's toaster idea, cameron has come up with a device he thinks will make the bestseller lists and win him the nobel prize for peace. A ducking stool with two pools!!! one side ducks and then timed to coincide with a drowned person, roughly two minutes, the other side will then slow release to drown a second person, thuse ensuring that both victims are kept nice and warm for sacrificial necrophilia.
Jon says it won't work due to imbalanced weight distribution, but cameron is insistant that having a good idea will save him from eviction. It's bound to illicit a bevy of votes for obvious witch Nush so that she may be the first to try the ducking stool.
The church of the latter day puritanicals is keen to patent the device for Cameron ready for his release from the heathen stronghold in Elstree.....
In related news, A hurried cabinet meeting this morning was called to discuss the possibility of a post for Big Brother contestant Steph. It is rumoured that the government will create a new ministry especially for her; The ministry of hate. Plans for the new minisry are still in the early stages and it is not known whether anything will come of this but a white paper is expected to be submitted to a select committee before the end of the week.
Last edited by Monkey_thong : 18-07-2003 at 12:56
Jon says it won't work due to imbalanced weight distribution, but cameron is insistant that having a good idea will save him from eviction. It's bound to illicit a bevy of votes for obvious witch Nush so that she may be the first to try the ducking stool.
The church of the latter day puritanicals is keen to patent the device for Cameron ready for his release from the heathen stronghold in Elstree.....
In related news, A hurried cabinet meeting this morning was called to discuss the possibility of a post for Big Brother contestant Steph. It is rumoured that the government will create a new ministry especially for her; The ministry of hate. Plans for the new minisry are still in the early stages and it is not known whether anything will come of this but a white paper is expected to be submitted to a select committee before the end of the week.
Last edited by Monkey_thong : 18-07-2003 at 12:56
Where was CaMORON last night? We know he was not present following Nush's accident, yet the CH4 highlights provide him a perfect alibi that he was there. Other FM's (probably government plantsthemselves) have suggested he was supposedly washing dishes, yet this morning Dr David Kelly turns up dead (I'll hasten to guess any references to a crushed windpipe will be expunged from the official coroners report). .
Where was he during those missing hours last night? Is he a CIA/MI5 agent, and employed to ensure the continued subjugation of the masses by the militery/industruial complex, with a primary mission to stop the second comming or Jon Tickle?
Is he Penry the mild mannered janitor?
Or does he just smell of old fish?
Enquiring minds want to know
Where was he during those missing hours last night? Is he a CIA/MI5 agent, and employed to ensure the continued subjugation of the masses by the militery/industruial complex, with a primary mission to stop the second comming or Jon Tickle?
Is he Penry the mild mannered janitor?
Or does he just smell of old fish?
Enquiring minds want to know
