I guess you got smacked harder than I did then. I got just enough to know that what I'd done was wrong, and there may have been tears, but certainly not enough to mke me fear my parents. Just enough to make me know that I didn't want to be naughty again!

And I think this is where the problem lies - how do you describe the amount of force to use? IMO there is nothing wrong with smacking as used by my Mum, but it sounds as if your parents hit a bit harder than mine....

So you could say ban all smacking so that there is no confusion. But then you have parents frightened to discipline their kids, like teachers are now terrified of touching kids at all, and the kids know this, so the naughty ones get naughtier.

I think I've run out of steam on this so I'm going to shush now

I watched the cutting edge programme (hoping to get tips on dealing with my sometimes out of control 7 yr old and I'm serious when I say that), one of the main problems there was that the mother seemed unable to show the child any love at all.

Back to the topic, who was it that said 'I might not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say it' or words to that effect. Because someone says something we may not agree with doesn't mean they aren't entitled to their opinion.

I don't disagree with the odd light smack, as has been said it is not always possible to reason with a child, even a reasonably intelligent 7 yr old, what I don't like is smacking out of frustration because you can find no other way of dealing with the situation. And yes I've been guilty of this but I am only human. (Btw I have four children aging from 7 to 23 and my 7 yr old is definitely the most difficult to deal with)

Kaz

At the ripe old age of 21, I was taught to touch-type along with a couple of other guys. The teacher was a little old lady, who strode up and down the row, hitting the backs of our hands with a ruler if we looked at the keyboard. We learned, fast and well! I’ll always be grateful for those lessons – they’ve saved me a lot of time and made me a lot of money. (And thirty years later, I still can’t look at the keys when I type.) Pain is a built-in warning that we’re doing something we shouldn’t. Most children fall down the stairs – once! Most children burn themselves – once! Pain works. What doesn’t work is anger. Lose your temper with a child, you’ve lost the argument.

I received quite enough of a proper upbringing, thank you. Enough to know that hitting a child is wrong - whatever the reason. There are plenty of ways to teach children "right and wrong". I obviously had very enlightened parents and I'm grateful.

Smacking a child is sometimes right and sometimes wrong. We all have a temper and can do things "in the heat of the moment ", hopefully we can reflect on our actions and modify them but we can never outlaw human instinct.

The political talk about outlawing smacking is a total non-starter, you might as well try and stop night following day.

I don't htink Cameron was saying it was ok to hit a child with a belt, I think he was saying there is a case for a law against it.

I don't think it is wrong to smack a child. Sometimes it is wrong, sometimes it is right. Smacking a child in anger is never right, when mine were young they were smacked. Neither of them are violent people and my older child uses the same methods of discipline for her son and the same general rules. I think parents should never smack a child in anger. This shows them it is ok to "hit out" when angry with someone. A smack should only ever be used as a last resort, generally when trying to prevent the child from following a course of behaviour that would endanger them in some way. The child should be told that if they do that again they will be smacked, and then the smack should be deilvered if the child doesn't stop. The smack should be delivered in private, and only ever on the back of the legs or the bottom. The parent should not be screamigng in anger at the time. The best method I found was to put the child in their room, or another safe place, while I had a quick calm down, then call them to me and deliver the smack, making sure that the child knew why she was being smacked. One smack on the each leg was the norm, not hard, just hard enough to sting a little.

This is my opinion, and the method that worked for me and my children. They weren't smacked very often and never twice for the same thing which suggests to me that it was effective.

Just for once, I find myself in agreement with Cameron but I still think he is a nasty, slimey little man and a hypocrite to boot!

Caz

Thats right my husband never smacked our children. He was working all day and the discipline was left to me.

Exactly. If I ever do have children, I know that I would never hit them. Resorting to violence to instil discipline is a sign of a bad parent, IMO.

I thought he was saying the law might have a case against the parent if they used a belt.

Skye

This would not work with pre school age.

Hitting a pre-school toddler is even more despicable.

Ben4321, I said that before I had children, you can't say what you will do until you are in the situation. I said I would never stay with a man who hit me and I did for 9 years, but that's another story.

I don't condone smacking children as a matter of course but sometimes its necessary, I mean a light tap not a beating. As I've said I have 4 children and the 3 oldest have all turned out ok, in steady relationships, all working full tim, not been in any trouble etc
Kaz

Mmmmm wait and see.
It's not as easy as you seem to think.

Possibly. However, a parent's anger is their own problem, not the child's. And I don't intend to have children ever so the question is largely academic. I am utterly opposed to the idea of hitting children on a moral basis.

If you are taking pre school age to be up to the age of 4 - I would think that between the age of 2 and 4 is when they need that discipline - so that when they do go to school they already know what is right and wrong - and I don't know many people that can remember all that much before the age of 4

I don't intend to have children but if I ever do, I shall make a vow not to hit them and stick to it. And I have already had experience of looking after small children, looking after my nephew and niece.

Very young children are like little sponges. Having looked after my nephew and niece on a regular basis, I can vouch for the fact they take in so much more than you think. This is the period when children learn how to walk and how to speak after all.

My mother used to flick a wet dishcloth at me. It used to wrap itself around my head and face, all wet and soapy, I HATED it & consequently I was always well behaved, especially in the kitchen.
I used to envy my friends who were smacked!

Obviously you have no idea about young children. A 3 or 4 year old can be a nightmare if not corrected. I would love you to spend the day at a pre school nursery with the children that have not been disciplined.
When you had been kicked ,bitten & spat at then you would have an idea what the mothers on this topic are talking about.

Most will walk and talk by the age of 2 - between the age of 2 and 4 they can turn into right little terrors ! - I don't want to etc etc - I have heard of some 2 year olds bitting and scratching just because they don't want to go to bed - I would love to see how you would reason with a child in this position - I think it would lead to a lot of sleeples nights for you

That's appalling abuse Ciixii

Wouldn't know about that. All I know that my nephew and niece have always been very well behaved apart from a slight ruckus every now and then - and my brother and his wife are totally opposed to hitting their children. Perhaps there's a knack to it...

I always had a very clean face.

Maybe you only see what they want you to see.
Or they are very lucky.

Most animal species has devised some way to keep the kids in line. Theres no point trying to reason with a two year old who is about to run in front of a bus...
A stern voice and a tap on the back of the leg reasserts authority, and rarely needs repeating.. the stern voice becomes the trigger for the child to attend to your instructions. There is NO point physically chastising a child over 6 years old, because by then theyve worked out that hitting isnt right and will resent it