We want the low down on the wind up party goings on!. In particular who is CM venting his wrath upon!

Ah, I'm too depressed.

All the laughter in the world has died.

Turn off the clocks.

I'm watching An Audience With Neil Diamond now. I'm worried the audience is going to choose Jonny Vegas to sing in his place.

Well, when your feeling better then, poor thing. I'm sure your girl has great things ahead anyhow

And then you saw the other totally unbelievable result on Britain's Got Talent.

I liked george But I am amazed that he won. I thought that faryle had it in the bag. Shows how much I know. I thought that Jessie would win.

This is what happens when the government fluoridises the water supply.

And to boot, only half the audience stood up after Neil Diamond sang I Am, I Said.

I would have dragged out the peope who didn't stand up and garroted them.

Oh, they're all standing now, for Cracklin' Rosie.

TASTELESS MORONS!!!!!